Lifestyle | Fun stories

Every Day I Dream of Shrinking

Laughter through tears: Life at 5 Feet and 8 Inches

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Can I say that we humans never have it right? Sometimes too skinny, sometimes too chunky. A tad bit tall, or perhaps too short. Curly hair is so beautiful, but we got it straight. Can we ever be happy?..

It’s not a rant, I’m not complaining. Rather, laughing out loud. I would like to apologise — I read a piece Elevating the Everyday by Msfireballsmom and I could not stop giggling. For one, it’s really funny — authentic, it’s just part of life. But on the other hand, I read it and thought — Wow, I’m on the other side of the spectrum and this kind of makes me jealous!..

Not joking. But it’s a great story, go and check it out:

As this post ignited a dialogue within me, I decided to scribble one of my own. But from a different perspective.

So, what does it feel to be a 5 feet 8 inch tall female?

I’m a bit over 1,73 cm and even though it might not be that much in some countries, it’s a big deal in the UK. Most of the females are ten centimetres shorter than I am. Many men are too.

A trip to the grocery store is usually a funny one as strangers (namely, old ladies) ask me to pass them that pasta box at the top of the shelf. You know that extra stock on the top TOP of the shelf? Yup, I can reach that. I feel strangers glaring at me — not sure if jealous or genuinely freaked out.

Shopping experiences are pretty sad. I usually wear skirts and dresses — these are the safe clothes that I more or less manage to find. Assuming that the normal midi skirt is actually midi — because quite often it just turns out mini… But oh well. Even though I’m tall, I’m relatively skinny.

I live between England and the States and typically anyone who is my height is bigger everywhere else… So, clothing is either too short or just too big overall. Worst day ever? Buying jeans, I can never find the right pair. All of them are either like capris, or I would need to stuff a pillow where my bottom should be. Fabulous.

Bigfoot drama. Hey, proportion is key, right? Tall people have big feet. I can never find shoes that fit me — when I was younger, shop assistants had the face to offer menswear. Since I’m over thirty now, they at least pretend to be compassionate and offer different brands. Some go bigger than others, there is hope in this world, after all.

All jokes aside, when choosing shoes for my wedding, I had to do with 1.5 size smaller. I’m surprised I managed to walk to the altar without tripping or twisting my ankle. And kept at it for the whole reception. Beauty requires sacrifice!.. But hey, those were some fabulous shoes!..

Public transport is not a problem for me. But I sometimes feel like I’m a man — when the tube gets packed, I’m one of those people standing and holding onto the top handles. Not feminine at all. I always look at those petite women who seem so elegant and think how I would love trading places.

Dating before getting married was horrendous. Online dating was the worst — you know how old men lie about their age? Well, that’s how short men lie about their height! You wouldn’t believe how many times I went on a date and a guy would be shorter than me. Since I try to at least look more feminine, I also dress like it — shoes included. That makes me even taller, I know, but it wouldn’t be an issue if you were actually 1,85 cm tall, now would it?!

School, university and work — being tall makes you stand out. Whenever I didn’t do my homework or wanted to avoid a task or an unwelcome question... I got called out. Every single time. If the whole room shrinks — and they’re already shorter and smaller than you are — you can shrink as much as you want, but you’re still sticking out!..

On the flip side……………I can gain 10kg and no one would ever know!!!

All jokes aside, it doesn’t matter how short or tall we are — we are all incredible beings. But some features are associated with particular qualities and seen in a positive or negative light. There’s also the gender issue.

As a tall woman, I always felt a sense of hostility. Men seem to think of me as more masculine and the types of guys that would want to date me were the reddest flags possible.

Women would see me as a sort of protector, superhuman — several workplaces nicknamed me a bulldozer. I was pretty proud about it when I was younger, but since I’m over thirty, it doesn’t seem that much of a compliment. Overworking, masculine, strong-headed… And it’s hard to live up to that image. Somehow, no one wants to see a tall woman as a cute, feminine figure. Doesn’t suit the image.

On the other hand, I’ve seen many men who struggled because they were short. Some of my colleagues barely reach my shoulders and they all seem to be extremely aggressive, feeling the need to prove a point and protect their authority. I understand them, but at the same time, I don’t — trying to compensate for the perceived lack of features just leads to overdoing it.

The question is: how tall are you? Do you think you’re too tall, too short or just right? Share in the comments!

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