Ever Had your Skirt Fall off When out for a Walk?
Just me then. Daft things often happen to me — I don’t know why.
I suspect it’s that several of my faults conspire against me:
- Usually running late
- Clumsy / poor hand-eye coordination
- Penchant for heels and short skirts
When I was just 18 I was walking my dog and bumped into a boy I fancied (This was no co-incidence, I’d seen him walking from my window so I hastened to drag my dog out, hoping to engineer a conversation). As he was leaving the park with his boxer dog, I was arriving with my rather shy spaniel. I stopped to say hello etc. but his dog got very interested in mine (wanting to sniff her butt). My dog was having none of it! Her attempts to keep out of reach caused both our dogs to circle me, thereby wrapping their leads tightly round my legs. I lost my balance and fell forwards onto my hands, bum in the air. I was so embarrassed, and the boy did not seem impressed. He certainly didn’t ask me on a date!
I fell headfirst into a guy’s lap when travelling on the underground. I’d got onto the carriage with my friend, we were going to a matinee at the theatre. Before I could take my seat, next to a youngish man, the train pulled off. With all my weight on one foot, the motion tipped me over sideways. Despite me flailing about trying to regain my balance, my head kinda went into his lap. I was absolutely mortified, red-faced and apologetic. My friend (sitting opposite) was NO help, she just laughed at me, with an expression part shocked and part delighted.
Another train journey on a different day found me the victim of ‘man-spreading’. Sitting in a window seat, a man sat beside me, legs akimbo. Opposite me a pin-stripe suited guy was claiming space the same way — if man spreading was an olympic sport, he’d win gold. I was wearing a shortish dress and didn’t want to rub knees with either of them, so I sat with my legs tightly crossed. The trouble was, when the train reached my stop and I stood up, my poor squashed leg had gone numb! My ankle turned in my heeled boots. As a result I stumbled into pin-stripe guy and trod on his toes. Although I felt pretty foolish, I decided he deserved the pain.
I met a friend in a hipster burger restaurant off Oxford Street which I’d visited once previously. Before sitting down to consume our meal I needed to wash my hands. I dashed off, so that my food wouldn’t get cold, and shot into the bathrooms. I wondered briefly why a man was coming out! I gave him a bit of a glare, before realising the error was mine! I had turned in the wrong direction and was now standing in the gents’ washrooms! Exit a red-faced and apologetic Posy!
Enough foolishness? No, I must conclude with my click-bait story:
Ever had your skirt fall off while out for a walk?
This one’s related to another dog walk. Several years ago, I was exercising my dog in my lunch hour. Still in my cute office outfit of sweater, a short tiered skirt teamed with boots and thick tights, I grabbed a coat for warmth and swapped my boots for wellies. Aware my skirt was a bit short, I had been trying to ensure it sat on my hips not my waist. While striding round the field, dog off lead, I pulled to adjust my skirt, but I pulled a bit too hard - it slipped completely off! Skirt landed in a pool around my ankles. Shocked, I looked about to see if anyone had witnessed my clothes malfunction. Nobody in sight. Luckily my coat covered my state of undress to mid-thigh. I hastily pulled up my skirt again and carried on walking.
I was challenged to write something by Jeff Ehren for National Underwear day — his story Massaging my Ebony Goddess was fabulous. If my anecdotes weren’t quite spicy enough for you, try Challenging Ricky which I published in Tantalizing Tales. Perhaps Liz BlackX, Heather Kinnane Eve Taylor Asrai Devin Kiki Wellington, Solomon Sinn Seer also have kinky underwear stories to share.