SHORT & WEIRD | PROMPT | DARK HUMOR | 290-WORDS
Even Werepandas Get the Blues
Sport Panda was inconsolable after his girlfriend dumped him for Optimus Panda
Rosy Panda woke up alone during the werewolf hour. She heard moans coming from the living room. She approached slowly and caught her boyfriend Sport wanking while watching a campanda on Pandurbate.
It was a private session, and the model was milking him dry. She prolonged her teasing to charge him more. ‘What a slut!’ Rosy thought.
She sneaked quietly from behind him so that the model saw her first. When she did she froze, opened her mouth and pointed her index finger toward the camera.
“Was that sign language? I didn’t get it.”
“Behind you!” she whispered.
Sport turned around, junk still in paw.
“Holy crap! Rosy?! How did you…”
“Please close the session lady. I need to speak to my boyfriend.”
She closed the session before Rosy finished speaking.
“That’s it! We’re done!”
“But you have a headache 25 days per month honey! I have needs!”
“Needs my ass! You can’t even make me climax! All you care about is your pleasure, then you sleep like a werepig! This was the last straw! Optimus has been courting me for weeks you know.” Rose smirked.
“You’d ditch me for that pompous prick?”
“I already have. You have one hour to pack your shit and leave my house.”
“Hon…”
“One hour!”
Sport’s life went downhill after Rosy kicked him out. He was already unemployed, now homeless too. He survived on eucalyptus leaves and slept at the park.
He started drinking heavily, from booze he stole. He did not attend Rosy’s wedding. He didn’t even have a proper suit.
He did not manage to turn his life around. He was found a year later on a park bench by an officer. Stone cold.
No one attended his funeral. Not even Rosy.
I hope the ending did not make you too sad. 🥹 Thanks for reading 🙏🏽
Inspired by this story prompt by Ryan Klemek:
I considered sharing a comedy to lighten the mood. After rereading this I reconsidered, like sweet Silke. CW — this tale is dark:
