Establishing and Maintaining Boundaries with Narcissistic People is Vital
Or: How to be a better narcissist?
Highly Sensitive People (HSP) are ¼ to 1/3 of the population according to this video I just watched on YouTube.
By the definition implied in this video, HSPs basically notice that other people exist.
Using this broad definition, ideally HSPs should be at least half of humanity, even better 100%.
This brought a question to my mind: How selfish and insensitive is the average person? It must be greater than I previously thought.
On the other end of the spectrum are narcissists.
In my limited experience of 50 years, I thought I knew how incredibly selfish they were. I was wrong. Besides ignoring your needs, belittling your personality and the things you like, they can get much worse if given the chance.
They actually believe that your career, mortgage/rent, and car payment all come secondary to their desire to scheme, manipulate, lie, and screw over other people. They can get enraged if you don’t leave an important meeting putting your job at risk to go empty out your bank account for them in support of their latest harebrained scheme. This applies even if they are homeless and technically unemployed.
They wouldn’t care if they put you out of your job and out on the street if they can manipulate you into giving them everything you own to support their warped worldview. They are the parasite that would kill their host without a second thought killing themselves in the process.
Apparently, they’ve never heard the saying, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” Despite my 50 years of dealing with and attempting to recover from narcissistic abuse, I had never witnessed this kind of extreme behavior before. Maybe the narcissists I was raised with were more intelligent and capable of long-term planning.
The current narcissists that have invaded my life are exceptionally short-sighted.
They are so self-absorbed that their attempts at manipulating and controlling me would be laughable were it not for the damage they inflicted in a short time (2 weeks) back when I believed they were human and not narcissist.
I believe narcissists are, effectively, no longer human. Their behavior and supposed beliefs show as much. They may not have literally “sold their soul to the Devil,” but however you want to describe this phenomena, narcissists are the modern equivalent.
Americans in my life, in their typical ways, are coming at me from the extremes. They are either hyper-sensitive people, or have full-blown narcissistic personality disorder. I don’t know any average people even though, supposedly, they should account for roughly 67% of the population.
The most recent narcissists in my life don’t realize how insulting they are being when they lie to me and try to manipulate me. Their extreme selfishness leads them to discount my previous life experience dealing with similar assholes.
I think that they would more often get their way if they bothered to listen to people when they spoke. They would find it easier to manipulate others if they took the time away from their extreme selfish nature to try and understand the person they were trying to deceive.
I’m glad they don’t. This stupid behavior on their part is self-defeating. It makes me less concerned that narcissism will take over the world.
The latest narcissist gave me a 7-day reprieve without him.
I thought that he finally figured out that I would not be a victim of his scheming and lies. Considering the barrage of phone calls he is making to me today, I guess this isn’t the case. It’s insulting to my intelligence.
Boundaries. I texted him to text or leave a voicemail. I don’t want to hear his voice. So far, he has refused. This seems to be a common theme among narcissists: to insist on talking on the phone or meet face to face only.
From my experience, narcissists don’t like email, texts, or voicemail. Those forms of communication are not set up as well for manipulation as is speaking with someone directly. I suspect he knows that. He’s probably raging, insulted somewhere. At least that somewhere isn’t here.
How to be a better jerk (narcissist).
If you really want to lie to and manipulate people, to be a better narcissist, you have to develop empathy, becoming more like a highly sensitive person, which of course, is the opposite of narcissism.
There’s a saying that goes along with that idea too. You attract more flies with honey than vinegar. This is the second post within a week where I’ve reached the same conclusion: narcissistic behavior is ultimately self-defeating. It is unsustainable.
How long will this epidemic of rampant narcissism last?
Hopefully, not long. It should burn out when those prone to try narcissistic methods realize how ineffective and ultimately self-destructive they are.
There goes my phone, ringing again. Boundaries. Establish and maintain them. Not wanting to hear the voice and the words of a liar hit my head directly is a rational boundary which needs to be respected. That’s an idea whose sanity would most certainly be immediately questioned if I were to answer my phone.
Some people just don’t get it. The more he insists on violating my boundaries, the more I hope to see him get arrested or lying dead in the street.
The odds of helping him again are 0% and decreasing. Doesn’t he realize that?
I’m certainly not paying for an Uber so he can come into my home under false pretenses. It took him 7 days to concoct whatever scheme he has. A bunch of lies which I have absolutely no interest in hearing. I don’t have time to debate all night long how I’m the selfish one by not giving him my last $20 after giving him $200.
Which brings one more question to mind: Do you think there’s a way I can make that $200 donation tax deductible?
