Escaping the “Average Joe (or Joanne)” Syndrome

You are anything but average!

Show me the “average Joe” or Joanne, and I’ll give you a million bucks.

Why? Because (s)he doesn’t exist, that’s why!

“Average Joe” is a mythical being. No one is average. Gimme a break!

And of course, that includes you.

First, the obvious…

No one else has your body. (You might respond with, “No one else would want my body!” But I digress.)

The human body itself — no matter which person it belongs to — is the most complex organism in the universe. Consider this about your body (yes, yours):

· It has over 46 miles of nerves and over 60,000 miles of blood vessels; · It has over 37,000,000,000,000 (37 trillion) cells; · It has over 7,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (that’s 7 octillion) atoms. (I didn’t know there was such a thing as “octillion.” Did you?)

What about your brain — you know, that machine you constantly berate for being slow and stupid? Guess what?

· It has over 86 billion neurons and 85 billion other cells; · It has the capacity of 100 billion mini-computers working together; · It has the memory capacity a million gigabytes.

To put the memory statistic into perspective: you’d need let your TV run continuously for 300 years to use up all that storage. (Good news in case you forget to turn it off 😊.)

“I hear you…but what about me?”

You wanna know about you? Let’s talk about you!

For centuries, fingerprints have been used as a primary means to identify individuals and even solve crimes. Why? Because no two fingerprints are the same…not even for identical twins.

Indeed, every part of your outer being — your ears, eyes, tongue, nose, even how you walk — has unique identifying markers. That’s because of your DNA — the one molecule that contains your unique genetic code.

I haven’t even mentioned the fact no one on the planet has your exact combination of family upbringing and life experiences. You may (or may not) lament those aspects of your being. Regardless, we can agree they are unique to you and no one else.

What about personality?

I haven’t even begun to discuss personality. How can three siblings growing up in the same environment with the same parents have vastly different personalities? How is it that they respond so differently to trauma and other life circumstances?

Over 50 years ago, my two brothers and I had our lives turned upside down. Not only did we lose our mom to cancer, but entered into a blended family when my dad remarried just 4 months later.

My oldest brother responded to all this with more dogged independent. Two years later, he was successfully living on his own.

My next-oldest brother already had anger issues. He retreated into more and deeper anger. 8 years later, he took his life.

And me? I resigned myself to the circumstances, became compliant, and stuffed my emotions for nearly 30 years.

Why did we respond so differently? There’s no cookie-cutter answer. You can only attribute so much to factors like birth order and different parenting styles for different siblings.

This is only one example of the “mysterious” factor we dub as “personality.” There are oodles more. Suffice it to say that our biology is not all that stamps us as unique. Not be a long shot.

So why do we hang out in the land of “average?”

So why is it ingrained in us that we’re “nothing more than average?”

On the surface there are a lot of reasons for that. Maybe our parents drummed that thinking into our heads. Maybe it’s our celebrity-based culture bearing down on us. Maybe it’s social media (“well I can never have the following that so-and-so-YouTube influencer has”). Maybe it’s our own past failures.

The advantages — and perils — of “average”

The problem is that after a while, we kind of enjoy hanging out in the land of “average.” After all, average doesn’t require anything of me. I don’t have to stand out. I don’t have to make my voice heard. I don’t have to take on responsibility.

With a deep sigh I will tell you that’s how I lived most of my adult life. I was “content” working a corporate customer service job that required very little of me, while burying my writing gift as a means of income. I sacrificed utilization of a gifting on the altar of convenience and comfort.

Your struggle may not be career-focused. You may want to take an unpopular stand in a society that demands — and enforces — conformity. It’s easier to “keep your head down” and not cause trouble. But is that what history is made of?

What “being above average” requires of us

Let’s look at the implications of escaping the “land of average:”

1. I honor my uniqueness. I don’t have to conform. I can discover my own identity, giftings, and calling regardless of what others “think” I should do.

2. I decide what to do with my life. At least to a certain extent we each can overcome whatever life throws at us, and chart our own paths. Yes, there will be choppy waters. Yes, you risk loss of comfort or even fame! (That’s right — even celebrities can get sucked into the “land of average” at least within their sphere.)

3. I don’t have to think the way I’m “expected” to think. In polarized America, we’re expected to believe, think, and even vote a certain way if we’re a member of a certain demographic. For me that hit home over 40 years ago when as a young Jewish man I risked possible ostracism to follow Jesus. Just because whoever’s-part-of-your-demographic all behaves a certain way, it doesn’t mean you have to.

4. I have an assignment to fulfill. Just the fact that no one has your DNA should tell you that you were created for a specific purpose. It may not be grandiose. It may not be career-related. And it may change as you move into different seasons of life. But whatever you do, find out what it is and put your hand to the plow!

Say goodbye to your “inner average Joe!”

I’ve got great news: You can “escape from average” regardless of your age or season of life. I’m an example. I’m starting afresh career-wise at age 64!

I know others who have escaped their own version of average later in life. One person I know didn’t find marital happiness till she met her prince charming in her 60’s. Others have — later in life — overcome emotional trauma the likes of which I cannot imagine. They have escaped their particular version of “average” and are charting a new — and prosperous — “normal” for themselves.

So to repeat: you can say goodbye to your own “average Joe or Joanne” at any time.

All you have to do is to show him or her the door.