Escape, escape, escape

Summary

The web content is a personal narrative poem detailing the author's journey of escaping an abusive relationship with their mother, the societal pressures to maintain that relationship, and the process of healing and moving towards personal values and goals.

Abstract

The poem "Escape, escape, escape" is an intimate reflection on the author's experience with escaping the abuse inflicted by their mother. It delves into the complexity of the situation, where the author initially believed that escaping the physical presence of their abuser would be sufficient. However, they soon realized that societal perceptions of maternal love often dismiss the reality of abuse, placing the onus on the victim to mend the relationship. The author describes a series of escapes: first, physically removing themselves from the abusive environment; second, breaking free from the societal expectations to reconcile with their abuser; and third, overcoming the constant state of hypervigilance and self-sabotage that the abuse had instilled in them. The poem concludes with the author's realization that true healing comes not from running away but from walking steadily towards their own values, intentions, and goals. The narrative is a testament to the resilience required to break the cycle of abuse and the importance of self-care and personal growth.

Opinions

The author emphasizes that escaping an abusive relationship is not a single event but a series of ongoing efforts to redefine one's life.
Society's tendency to normalize or excuse abusive behavior from a mother is criticized, as it adds to the victim's burden.
The poem suggests that healing involves recognizing the inability to change an abuser who is unwilling to acknowledge their behavior.
The author expresses the need to move beyond survival mechanisms, such as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn, and instead focus on constructive actions aligned with personal values.
The narrative conveys gratitude towards those who have supported the author's journey, including Susannah MacKinnie, and extends a creative prompt to others as a form of communal healing and expression.
The poem underscores the importance of therapy and self-care, particularly in the context of activism and societal change, highlighting the lack of representation in these areas.

Escape, escape, escape

A poem about my journey escaping an abusive mother

When I stepped out from under that looming shadow of financial, emotional, physical abuse, that was my first escape.

I thought I would only need one escape — I was wrong.

When your abuser is your mother, people will excuse her aggression as coming from a good, loving place and shift the burden on you to fix her, to accommodate her, to return her aggressive love.

My second escape was stepping out of these connections and realizing that intention does not justify the damage that was done.

That you cannot fix someone unmotivated to see the problem, unwilling to make the change.

My third escape was to escape the escaping. The mindset of continually trying to run away from something dangerous.

I spent so long protecting myself from every act of aggression that my recipe for every connection was to fight, flight, freeze, and fawn; to overschedule and overachieve, but also to avoid and self-sabotage.

I had to learn to escape the escaping and instead to build towards my values, my intentions, my goals.

I learned that I no longer had to run away from, nor have to run and rush towards safety but that I can walk, one foot steadily in front of the other, towards my destination.

Thank you to Susannah MacKinnie for your prompt: Escape. In turn, I tag Aimée Gramblin, Suzanne V. Tanner, Hope Coalesce, Amy Marley, Mary McGrath and anyone else who wants to play, for this new prompt: Noodles.

What’s your next adventure? 🐇