Summary

The article discusses the negative impact of envy on self-awareness and self-love, and offers strategies for overcoming envious feelings.

Abstract

The article "Envy is Toxic" delves into the psychological reasons behind envy and its detrimental effects on an individual's self-perception. It suggests that envy arises from a lack of self-awareness and dissatisfaction with one's self, leading to comparisons with others that highlight perceived deficiencies. The author emphasizes that envy is essentially self-shaming and can stem from childhood emotional wounds. To combat frequent envious feelings, the article recommends becoming aware of the reasons for comparison, using positive affirmations, journaling, and reflecting on self-love. These practices aim to increase self-awareness and reduce the tendency to compare oneself to others, ultimately leading to improved self-esteem.

Opinions

Envy is seen as a toxic emotion that negatively impacts self-awareness and self-love.
The tendency to compare oneself to others is viewed as a sign of not knowing oneself well enough.
Envy is considered a form of self-shaming, often rooted in untrue childhood messages of not being enough.
Overcoming envy involves recognizing the triggers for comparison and interrupting the process with positive self-affirmations.
Journaling is suggested as a tool for reflecting on personal insecurities and fostering self-awareness.
The article posits that reducing envious comparisons can lead to an increase in self-esteem.
Readers are encouraged to engage in self-reflection and personal growth to transcend the habit of envy.

Envy is Toxic

Why we do it. And how to resolve it.

Do you envy others?

Do you wish you could write like someone, or have another’s wealth or good looks? Do you long for the glory of fame like the stars of films or music? Do you yearn for a relationship as romantic and intimate as your best friend’s?

If you do, chances are you blow right by the underlying feeling that arises when you envy another. Next time, try noticing what you feel, and what might be beneath that feeling.

Envy is comparing yourself with another and finding yourself less than.

Less wealthy, less attractive, less charismatic, less ______ (fill in the blank).

Why do you do that?

You’re not alone. Many of us are afflicted with the toxic characteristic of envy.

It may be because you’re not terribly familiar with who you really are. You may not know yourself well enough to know what you’re good at (or not). Or you’re dissatisfied with what you know about who you are.

You’re searching for a compass needle for who you should be.

When you’re short on self-awareness, it’s natural to look for models of what you think are the qualities you’d have if you were a little more than how you perceive yourself now.

Why is envy toxic?

Comparing yourself to others works against improving self-awareness and self-love. Envy puts you on the short end of every comparison, negatively affecting both of these.

It is essentially self-shaming.

Sometimes, this is the outcome of some untrue, subconscious “I’m not enough” inner message from childhood emotional wounding.

Recovering from frequent envious feelings

Here are a few ideas for your consideration.

Become aware of your reason for comparing. Reflect on the preceding points and decide if they’re true for you. If not, discern your own “why” you compare.

Become self-aware enough to realize when you’re comparing and interrupt the process with positive affirmations. These might be “I am good enough” or “I love myself.” (Use these examples or formulate your own).

Write in a journal when you notice yourself envying another. Reflect on whether you dislike something about yourself or perceive some weakness. This process of journaling and reflection may shine a light on where you’re less than self-loving.

There’s more to overcoming this, but these suggestions will go a long way toward bringing this habit into your awareness and moving beyond it. Practicing them will elevate your self-awareness.

When you’ve stopped (or at least reduced) this practice this you’re liable to find your self-esteem increasing as well.

Thank you for reading.

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