Enriching Ourselves vs. Enriching Society

Which can bring us greater happiness and have a greater impact?

The Short-Term Happiness of Personal Success

“As people spin faster and faster in the pursuit of merely personal happiness, they become exhausted in the futile effort of chasing themselves.” — Andrew Delbanco

When we’re young, our parents do their utmost best to guide us towards personal success and to shape us into independent-minded individuals that will be able to survive the harsh realities of the world we live in. Sure, some parents coddle their kids more than others but, in general, parents push their kids to be competitive and relish in their personal achievements. Whether it’s sports, music, or academics, most parents want their kids to be the best at it, or at least as good as they possibly can be. Hence, all the screaming parents at every youth league soccer game who are cheering their kids on, and the parents obviously feel some personal responsibility in ensuring their own kid’s success.

So, we grow up in a highly competitive environment that grows ever more competitive as the world population continues to expand. When we finally grow old enough to truly understand the expansiveness of our world and the many humans that inhabit it, it’s easy for us to feel like a grain of sand on a beach. But we must somehow make a name for ourselves and work towards attaining personal success. Everyone’s definition of success is different, yet growing up in a highly competitive environment teaches us the importance of financial security that can best be obtained by having a well-paying career or becoming a person of status in the world. As a result, success starts to be defined by how much you earn, your job title and/or your fame.

However, what inevitably happens when we frame success in terms of wealth, power, or fame?

The current state of wealth inequality in the world should be a good indicator. When we focus solely on the enrichment of ourselves, our goals (unsurprisingly) become narrowed in the pursuit of more wealth, power, or fame. It becomes a vicious cycle of trying to constantly one-up our previous achievements, such as a promotion or obtaining a certain amount of money. But what’s important to understand is that the feelings of happiness we might get from such achievements are fleeting and eventually plateau.

For example, when I was promoted to manager at my company and received a raise, there was an initial jolt of euphoria for having succeeded in achieving a personal goal of mine, but quickly after that, I realized I was no happier than before my promotion.

But don’t just take my word for it. A study published in the journal Nature Human Behavior found that “income satiation” for emotional well-being occurs between $60,000 and $75,000. Furthermore, they found that income well beyond this satiation level can actually lead to declines in emotional well-being.

This isn’t to say that we shouldn’t try to enrich ourselves, since it is clearly necessary for survival on some level, and is important for our personal development, such as through education. But perhaps enriching ourselves doesn’t end up leading to a sustained feeling of happiness?

The Long-Term Happiness of Helping Others

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” — Albert Einstein

When I was growing up, I was exposed to the same competitive environment that we all are, but I always had a feeling that perhaps competition wasn’t the most important thing to consider when defining what success meant to me. However, it wasn’t until my grandmother (Nana, as we called her) passed away that I realized the true power of selflessness and helping others.

My nana certainly didn’t have an easy life and from an early age, she had to take care of her many siblings and cousins while my great-grandmother worked day and night to put enough food on the table and try to make ends meet. She eventually went on to become a high school teacher for 20 years and a principal for another 25 years. At her funeral, or “celebration of life” as we euphemistically referred to it as, some of the kids she had taught at the high school showed up. It had been at least 20 or 30 years since she had taught them, yet there they were as adults with kids of their own. What’s more, they spoke beautifully about the many different ways in which my nana had shaped their lives for the better, many of them coming from less fortunate backgrounds just as she once had. And it wasn’t just the students that showed up, but the other teachers and administrative staff as well who similarly shared how positively impacted they were by my nana.

As I sat there listening to them, I was amazed that after all these years, they still remembered her and felt so strongly about the impact she had had on them that they wanted to pay their respects. And that is when it dawned upon me that enriching and helping others were the ingredients to long-term happiness.

And again, this is backed up by scientific evidence that shows that when we help others, we get a “helper’s high”, our self-esteem and emotional well-being increase, we become more optimistic, we feel more empowered and less stressed, and we encourage others to be more altruistic themselves.

These same benefits cannot be achieved by simply enriching ourselves. Thus, long-term happiness can only be achieved by enriching others.

But I would argue there’s an even more important reason to pursue the enrichment of others.

Cooperation over Competition

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” — Helen Keller

The world is currently an overly competitive and chaotic place. We face a multitude of threats and issues including the climate crisis, massive wealth inequality, racial injustice, automation of jobs, foreign conflicts, and so on. We won’t easily solve any of them by continuing to act with an individualistic mindset that is solely focused on the enrichment of ourselves.

What we need is cooperation over competition. We need group thinkers rather than independent thinkers. We need more altruism and less selfishness. We need to stand together rather than sit alone.

By focusing more on the enrichment of others, we can not only be happier but also have a greater impact on the world. We can leave a memorable and positive legacy just as my nana did, and inspire others to do the same.

I always wondered how my nana always seemed to be so happy and optimistic despite any obstacle that crossed her path. Now, I know why.

“If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else.” — Chinese proverb

To address the crises we face, we all need to work together and contribute our knowledge, ideas, and skills. If you share my vision of building a better future together, then please consider subscribing here to stay connected and be notified when I publish a new story.