Enough With The Toxic Masculinity Nonsense

Most people who write about are completely off the mark.

Every week I see at least one article about toxic masculinity on this platform.

Or I see an article about redefining masculinity.

Most of these articles leave me shaking my head.

Not because I’m some masculinity guru. It’s because most of these articles on masculinity are comically off the mark.

Oftentimes, I wonder if these articles on masculinity are troll jobs. Only existing to get clicked on by guys like me. If that’s the case, I salute you. Your troll articles have worked.

I don’t think that’s the case though. I think it’s more a case of people wanting to define masculinity in a self-serving way.

Masculinity is amoral

Ask most men what it means to be masculine and they’ll describe a man much like themselves. Ask most women what masculinity is and they’ll describe something that benefits womankind.

Then there is the whole nonsense about toxic masculinity.

This is born out of the idea that masculinity is moral. It’s not.

Masculinity is amoral. There are masculine good men, and there are bad men who are masculine.

So far, the best definition of masculinity I’ve found comes from Jack Donovan. He believes the four masculine virtues are strength, courage, mastery, and honor.

Strength: Any type of athleticism, such as speed, dexterity, cunning, and power.

Courage: The ability to overcome fear and act when faced with an obstacle.

Mastery: Becoming a master at a skill that benefits your tribe.

Honor: Are you a man other men can trust and rely on?

I’m completely simplifying his ideas on masculinity, that’s why you’re better off reading his work.

Here’s a quote from his book The Way of Men that illustrates his take on masculinity:

“This is basic masculinity. It’s not the be-all-end-all of everything, but if you don’t have that — it’s the piece of the puzzle you have to have. If you create a definition of masculinity and don’t include those 4 tactical virtues and this kind of evolutionary role that men have always had, then that’s when you get into topics that are about being human and aren’t specific to being a man.”

Masculinity, at its core, is made up of qualities that have helped men survive and reproduce. It’s not necessarily about being a good human. That’s the main takeaway.

Masculinity redefined

For most of human history having the qualities of the 2024 redefined masculine man wouldn’t do you much good. That’s why qualities like emotional intelligence, whatever that even means, and vulnerability should never be considered masculine virtues.

Yet they are by many of the people who attempt to define masculinity. Just yesterday I came across an article from a popular writer on the platform that claimed the crying was manly. I almost spit out my coffee and I wasn’t even drinking any.

That’s not to say men have to walk around like stoic bad-ass 24/7. A good cry every now and again can be beneficial. I have periodic meltdowns myself. Shit, I got watery eyes just watching The Last Dance.

But to suggest that crying is manly is just absurd, and shows you how misguided some people are when it comes to masculinity.

We’ve got to the point where the American Psychology Association has deemed “traditional masculinity” — marked by stoicism, competitiveness, dominance, and aggression — all qualities that have helped us advance as a species — harmful.

Then people wonder why we have generations of lost boys.

Well, it’s because, for the last few generations, the underlying message to them is that deep down you’re toxic. They’re told it’s NOT alright to give in to the qualities that make you a man. You should be ashamed of them.

The modern man can’t win. Become the sensitive new age redefined man and look like a complete buffoon or embrace traditional masculinity and be called a toxic insecure little boy.