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Abstract

accept a lifetime of shame, fear and guilt that societal ignorance has forced upon us for something that we never chose.It all happened before we were born. At birth, we joined others that were born gay, with red hair, or being left handed, who have been unfairly ostracized by society’s lack of knowledge, empathy or desire to try and understand.We, ourselves, even lacked any understanding. In our ignorance, we suffered in silence and that silence insured that we were alone and carried the guilt and shame for our “repressed” desire.Tragically, you have to search for those who share your pain because society still viciously divides us from each other. First we don’t even know what’s wrong, and then we can’t explain why to ourselves or others. Finally we can’t talk about our “condition” with others for fear of being rejected.The one thing that has been a common theme as I read the endless threads, blogs, articles, books, and watch YouTube is that I am truly not alone.My reading has shown me the enormous personal pain and suffering, but it has also shown me the joy of discovering not only the cause of that pain but a way to end it and live a happy life. Thousands of others have done it.So many stealth transgender sufferers are husbands. I read endless and heart-breaking posts as they tear themselves a

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part to protect their wives, their children, and their families from their “freakish disease.” They are forced to deal with this staggering burden alone, unless they hopefully find an outlet like I did.But many others are driven to attempt (and many times succeed in) committing suicide.<h2 id="ba42">Fortunately, we are not alone.</h2>I have met the most courageous, generous, and large-hearted people I have ever known while on this journey. In my moments of crisis they have always had my back, and we are only internet friends. Their caring explodes into my heart every time I post or read their posts. They don’t want anything from me. They offer no demands, just their thoughts and their hearts.We are seeking not just survival — we are seeking acceptance, we are seeking joy, and we are seeking our own personal peace.If we keep hiding, we are burying our opportunity to get the acceptance we deserve.Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. I know I am trying to match the courage of so many others. I constantly debate the safety of being stealth versus the fear of public ridicule and personal rejection. I throw this on my daily cycle of doubt.I do believe that ultimately I will say “ENOUGH” and my passion and beliefs will overcome that fear.I sincerely hope so.</article></body>

Enough: There Has To Be A Change

To be transgender is to accept a lifetime of shame, fear, and guilt that societal ignorance has forced upon us — for something we never even chose.

After dealing with the shocking discovery that I suffer from gender dysphoria 18 months ago at age 63, I started a very personal journey requiring me to tear apart every single aspect of my life, my beliefs, and who I was as a person. Everything was under intense scrutiny. I was ripping myself apart 24 hours a day, seven days a week, minute by painful minute.

I am still doing it right now.

While on this journey I was stunned to find out I was not, in fact, alone.

I thought I was a freak and I was unable to even talk to my best friend, my wife, about my sudden, explosive realization.

I was transgender.

To be transgender in the world today is to accept a lifetime of shame, fear and guilt that societal ignorance has forced upon us for something that we never chose.

It all happened before we were born. At birth, we joined others that were born gay, with red hair, or being left handed, who have been unfairly ostracized by society’s lack of knowledge, empathy or desire to try and understand.

We, ourselves, even lacked any understanding. In our ignorance, we suffered in silence and that silence insured that we were alone and carried the guilt and shame for our “repressed” desire.

Tragically, you have to search for those who share your pain because society still viciously divides us from each other. First we don’t even know what’s wrong, and then we can’t explain why to ourselves or others. Finally we can’t talk about our “condition” with others for fear of being rejected.

The one thing that has been a common theme as I read the endless threads, blogs, articles, books, and watch YouTube is that I am truly not alone.

My reading has shown me the enormous personal pain and suffering, but it has also shown me the joy of discovering not only the cause of that pain but a way to end it and live a happy life. Thousands of others have done it.

So many stealth transgender sufferers are husbands. I read endless and heart-breaking posts as they tear themselves apart to protect their wives, their children, and their families from their “freakish disease.” They are forced to deal with this staggering burden alone, unless they hopefully find an outlet like I did.

But many others are driven to attempt (and many times succeed in) committing suicide.

Fortunately, we are not alone.

I have met the most courageous, generous, and large-hearted people I have ever known while on this journey. In my moments of crisis they have always had my back, and we are only internet friends. Their caring explodes into my heart every time I post or read their posts. They don’t want anything from me. They offer no demands, just their thoughts and their hearts.

We are seeking not just survival — we are seeking acceptance, we are seeking joy, and we are seeking our own personal peace.

If we keep hiding, we are burying our opportunity to get the acceptance we deserve.

Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. I know I am trying to match the courage of so many others. I constantly debate the safety of being stealth versus the fear of public ridicule and personal rejection. I throw this on my daily cycle of doubt.

I do believe that ultimately I will say “ENOUGH” and my passion and beliefs will overcome that fear.

I sincerely hope so.