Enmeshment

Dedicated to my twin

I gave you my agentic key you dropped it down a drain that we set on fire with our invisible longing, burning to be close closer than the eye could see because it felt good wrapping ourselves in those symbolic blankets to satisfy the somatic sense like a mother dressing to our wounds

the clawing void in one, or two of us thought we were snuffing it still didn’t know whose was whose

puzzle piece have clean edges not us I gave you my agentic key and we lost control when our I’s snaked their way into a we

baked into one pie served steaming hot we lost our path or I lost mine

I acted like your doctor embodied the role fully with an empty bag supplies I moved the way emotions do dressing your wounds with various inner storms I moved the way emotions move those fools and tricksters crying babes and artists unknotting and weaving doing that work in a blind panic invisible invisible invisible

Carol Smith

I am an American born in Ukraine. I grew up with an identical twin and wanted to note and express the impact of being so close to her while also experiencing neglect from my parents had on me. I hope readers can relate to the effects of enmeshment. Thank you for reading.