Memoirs of a Deaf Person

Enjoying and Making Sense of My Life Beyond Deaf Silence

Navigating life’s ups and downs as a deaf person who embraced meaningful conversations in alternative ways

I’m Joellyn Rose Keener from the United States of America. Reflecting on my life’s journey as a senior citizen, something struck me deeply two years ago. I realized that if tomorrow never came, I wouldn’t have left a mark that truly mattered. That realization was harsh to swallow because I’ve always harbored dreams of doing something significant that resonates beyond my time.

But you see, fear held me back. The fear of failure, the fear of not being good enough, and yes, even the fear of death without leaving a legacy weighed heavily on my heart. However, that fear, ironically, became my catalyst for change. I refused to let the fear of writing keep me from sharing my story with the world.

So, here I am, finally penning down the chapters of my life and sharing them publicly with help from angels who appeared in my life at the right time. It may seem belated, but they say it’s never too late to start, right? I’ve decided to delve into a topic that’s close to my heart yet often left unexplored: my journey as a deaf person in a world built for the hearing.

Living in a world where silence is the norm while surrounded by a symphony of sounds has been both challenging and enlightening.

Many shy away from asking about my experiences, perhaps out of discomfort or uncertainty. But I welcome those questions with open arms, eager to share my perspective and shed light on a lifeless understanding.

I want to offer you a glimpse into my past, a snapshot of me at seven, the year when my world and theirs collided, the year when they discovered my deafness and my senior years when I found solace in writing.

Here is a glimpse of my silent yet internally noisy world.

Growing up in Clarksburg, WV, my schooling experience was marked by isolation and bullying. Despite my pleas to attend a school for the Deaf and Blind in Romney, WV, my requests were ignored, leaving me vulnerable to daily torment and the superficiality of bought friendships.

The move to Morgantown at 13 only exacerbated my trauma, forever altering my sense of self. It wasn’t until I bravely shared my story in a Medium publication on June 12, 2023, that I confronted and processed my experiences. Despite initial hesitations, speaking out proved cathartic, empowering me to help others facing similar challenges.

Following high school, I found solace working at the Humane Society before transitioning to Borg Warner Chemicals, now GE Plastics. I spent 24 years evolving from a file clerk and mainframe operator to an IT Specialist.

However, the demands of answering global help desk calls while battling Meniere’s Disease prompted a necessary departure.

Today, alongside my beloved dog Annie, I embrace the healing power of storytelling, navigating life’s ups and downs with resilience and grace. Through sharing my journey, I aspire to inspire others to find strength in their vulnerabilities and hope in the face of adversity.

Despite the hardships, my love for computer work persisted, offering a lifeline of connection and purpose, especially during the loss of my fiancé, Ron, in April 2020. Writing reignited my spirit, offering solace and direction in tumultuous times.

An Overview of My Writing Journey with New Hope

My journey into the world of writing began with the publication of my autobiography two years back. It was a pivotal moment where I started a path of self-discovery and expression.

Along the way, I had the fortune of crossing paths with Sinem Günel, whose belief in my writing ignited a fire within me. Sinem became a guiding light, offering valuable insights and unwavering support as I navigated personal storytelling as fiction or non-fiction.

Since our encounter, my passion for writing has flourished, evolving from a mere autobiography to the realm of dark fiction. The prospect of delving into darker narratives excites me, pushing the boundaries of my imagination and creativity.

To fuel my inspiration, I immerse myself in the works of fellow writers on platforms like Medium, drawing from their stories and experiences.

Then, I found a publication illuminating my path, led by Dr Mehmet Yildiz. The light and vibrancy of this publication brought new hope to me. When Dr. Yildiz offered to mentor me like he did his deaf friend (centenarian) Jeremy, my joy and confidence for writing enhanced.

My modest stories being featured by supportive editors like Mike Broadly, DHSc, and Aiden (Illumination Gaming), Medium has been a sanctuary of sorts, a space where I can explore and hone my craft with passion, reaching a new audience on this platform.

This is a platform where my journey into non-fiction, fiction, and poetry began, although I recognize that I have a long road ahead before my vision takes its final form. Nonetheless, I embrace the challenges and uncertainties, knowing that each word penned brings me closer to my literary aspirations.

Upon the urging of friends who felt society needed more insight into the lives of individuals with hearing loss or deafness, I started writing my autobiography. Immersed in the process, I discovered a newfound passion for storytelling, meticulously weaving the threads of my life into words.

Upon completion, I heeded the advice of a seasoned author and took a hiatus from the manuscript, allowing myself time for reflection and contemplation.

Through the pages of my autobiography, I unearthed a more profound purpose beyond narrating my personal tale. I realized its potential to serve as a beacon of understanding for those navigating the complexities of hearing loss, offering solace and guidance amidst uncertainty.

For instance, parents of deaf children constantly grapple with pivotal educational decisions. While my book doesn’t prescribe specific solutions, it shares insights gleaned from my own journey, aiming to illuminate pathways and promote resilience.

With a blend of determination and hope, I launched my autobiography, “Deaf and Determined,” both as an eBook and paperback on Amazon.

This book chronicles the trials and triumphs of my life in a hearing world, charting the course toward embracing independence as a Deaf woman.

Through its pages, I aspire to empower others with similar experiences, encouraging a community of understanding, empathy, compassion, and support.

Discover the profound impact of silence — a powerful statement conveying emotions, indifference, and hidden stories. Experience resilience and strength when words fall short. #SilenceSpeaks

Embracing Friendship in a Soundless World

My journey through life as a deaf person has been a profound exploration of solitude and connection. Growing up, I faced the intricate challenge of forming bonds in a world where words often fell on deaf ears.

The ebb and flow of friendships brought both joy and sorrow, each departure leaving its mark on my heart. It wasn’t until a candid conversation with my psychologist that I realized the root of this perpetual cycle. It wasn’t me; it was the discomfort others felt in communicating with someone who was Deaf.

This revelation sparked a transformative shift in my perspective. I no longer viewed these departures as personal shortcomings but as missed opportunities for mutual understanding.

Yet, the longing for genuine connections persisted. How could I bridge this communication gap? I reflected on my childhood, remembering the profound connection sign language fostered within me. It was a language of the soul, transcending the barriers of sound.

As I navigated adulthood, I experimented with various methods of communication, from lip reading to written notes. Each attempt brought its own challenges, but I persevered, driven by a desire for meaningful connections.

It was then that I realized the power of sharing my story. Through writing, I could glimpse my world, fostering empathy and understanding among my peers.

With each word penned, I felt a sense of liberation and self-acceptance. My story became a beacon for others navigating the silent world, forging connections that transcended geographical boundaries. In sharing my experiences, I found healing and strength, realizing that my voice, though silent, echoed loudly in the hearts of those who listened.

My journey continues, marked by both challenges and triumphs. Yet, amidst the ebb and flow of life, one truth remains unwavering — the enduring power of connection and understanding, transcending the barriers that may divide us.

Conclusion: My Unique Communication Approach in my Senior Years

At the restaurant table, I strain to hear, As voices mingle, creating a symphony, Lip-reading becomes my silent language, In this noisy world, it’s my sanctuary. Sign language may not be my chosen path, For I learned to hear through watching faces, Yet, in my silence, I’ve found resilience, A strength to embrace life’s diverse spaces.

Growing up as a deaf person presented unique challenges and opportunities for me to navigate the world of communication. From learning to “hear” through observing facial expressions to discovering my Deafness in second grade, my journey has been defined by adaptation and resilience.

While speech lessons aided in developing my communication, the nuances of effective and understandable communication remained a constant challenge. For example, lip-reading has limitations, often leading to misunderstandings during conversations.

My mission has always been to make communication more accessible and comfortable for those unfamiliar with the deaf community. I understand the discomfort some may feel when conversing with someone like me, but I harbor no ill will. Instead, I strive to foster empathy and understanding through sharing my experiences.

However, societal misconceptions and behaviors can be hurtful and frustrating. The fear of Deaf individuals, the assumption of ASL proficiency, and the tendency to overlook our capabilities perpetuate barriers to communication. Yet, I am hopeful that education and awareness will pave the way for inclusivity and acceptance.

Living with Tinnitus and Ménière’s Disease has further shaped my sensory experiences, leading to innovative solutions like smart home automation to alert me to doorbells and motion. I learned a lot about supportive technologies from this story by Dr Yildiz. Despite these sensory challenges, I remain resilient, advocating for understanding and accommodation in movement and communication.

Understanding the sounds I cannot hear, the importance of transparent communication, and the ongoing journey toward improvement underscore my commitment to cultivating connection and empathy in a hearing world. While perfection may be elusive, progress and understanding are within reach, one meaningful and compassionate conversation at a time.

As learned from Helen Keller, “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, honorable, compassionate, and have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

Thank you for reading my story. I look forward to reading yours, too.