“Energy Vampires”: People Who Are Holding You Back From Acing Life
Identify people who subconsciously prevent you from succeeding.
Picture this.
You want to buy something and you message your so-called close friend about it. You’re close friends because you share relatable memes and have similar hobbies. You tell her you made a big purchase, and she’ll tell you about how you must be mindful of your expenses.
You tell her you bought a stock, and she’ll tell you how she got something at a lower share price. You find this to be a sort of competition, but hey, she makes you feel like she cares for you and loves you. And truth to be told, she has been there with you through your toughest times.
Millennials, do you relate to having such a person because we have so many friendships that are made online?
“If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.” — Michael Jordan
Ever since I got off social media and limited my interactions to people who have good vibes and want me to grow, I’ve been shocked about how many cues I missed earlier. I’m still startled by how little mindful we all are and we don’t assess the energy we surround ourselves with. It’s common knowledge that it’s important who we surround ourselves with.
To give you an example, I’m a part of a brilliant writers’ group. I’ve interacted 1–1 with almost everybody and have taken their help to review my work. I also speak to a few people really frequently and share my deepest insecurities with them.
Even in the group, nobody hesitates to put forward their questions or opinions. Nobody hesitates to say, ‘hey, I’m feeling like shit. I need help.” And such a community has helped us all grow as writers. We’ve shared best practices of our craft, and we genuinely want each other to succeed. As a result, we’re all top writers on an online platform and have even got rewarded by the platform.
See the effect of being surrounded by a wonderful community? We don’t fight for a pie, because there’s enough for all of us to devour.
“My encouragement: delete the energy vampires from your life, clean out all complexity, build a team around you that frees you to fly, remove anything toxic, and cherish simplicity. Because that’s where genius lives.” — Robin S. Sharma
Now, let’s understand energy vampires better.
They may even tell us they love us and are always there for us. And they are. In fact, they’re good people.
Unless they see you succeed.
You’ll always have people react differently to your success. Some could react negatively and conceal it under a joke. But they could be the ones hampering your success. And not every time it’s related to you, sometimes it's related to themselves. Some people are so tied up in their own dramas that they never rise above it and never let you get detangled. Of course, you’re a good friend and want to be there for them.
I’ve been in this place. I’ve gone out of my way to help a friend who had serious mental health issues and was receiving professional help. But I wanted to be a good friend. Soon, all their negativity was thrown at me with little or no appreciation. Who lost? Yours truly.
Here are 7 traits of energy vampires:
- Jealous: the one that cannot see you do well
- Unmotivated: who will want you to come down to their level
- Unambitious: who will never push you to achieve your goals
- Indifferent: who cares little about your growth whatsoever
- Fun-friend: who’s only there for the fun times
- Condescending: who portrays they’re doing better than you
- Insecure: who feels better by putting you down
Read this as many times as it takes to sink in — you don’t need leeches in your life.
“Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much” — Helen Keller
To grow, it’s important to cultivate relationships with people you can learn from, who have accomplished certain goals, and who want to see you succeed. There are lots of people in this world, and losing friends is better than having energy vampires.
Ever since I trimmed down my interactions with only ambitious people and friends who want to see me succeed and where we can help each other become better, I’ve seen a tremendous change in my life. I’ve become closer to my goals, had a cushion when I fell, had people lift me when I needed to, and strive each day to become a better version of myself because I know it's not my win and my happiness anymore, it's ours.
Who knew trimming down could be less lonely and a lot more fun?
Subscribe to my (free) weekly newsletter about health, travel, and personal development — https://niharikasodhi.substack.com/
If you enjoyed reading this, you might relish:
