Empty Cups Clog the Sink

This past year has been challenging. Beyond difficult, closer to impossible, but we persevered and weathered the storm.

Or did we?

It’s easy to convince others you’ve come out the other side of adversity stronger, more resilient, or even happier. To convince yourself, though, is more difficult. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.

I convinced myself that this past year, living the pandemic life hasn’t been that difficult. I’m lying. It’s been far more difficult than I admit, even to myself.

Stuck on lockdown should’ve been fun. Its intention was to kick the pandemic to the curb. Two weeks to flatten the curve and all that entailed. Instead, housebound with seven children aged two to sixteen, a husband unable to work, and in-laws no longer able to live on their own, it’s kicked my proverbial butt.

My cup isn’t running over, it’s running on empty. And, as a wise friend once told me, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

I need to fill my cup back up.

The question isn’t who can help me achieve that, it’s how do I do it amongst the negativity, hatred, and discontent in the world?

One moment at a time.

As a mother, wife, and friend, I take care of others and help them take care of themselves. I do for them as I need done for me. My loved ones would do for me, should I ask, but it is the asking that is difficult for this fiercely independent Aries woman.

To identify how to refresh my energy, I wrote a list outlining the things that would help fill my cup back up. Pedantic, yes, but necessary. Lists keep me on track with all the tasks I have in my life. The most important task is keeping my cup from running on empty. Here’s my list.

Ask for help.

I need to learn how to ask for help. It is imperative I remember to seek help when I am feeling overwhelmed or unsure. I ask my loved ones to reach out for a hand up, now I need to ask it of myself. They have been waiting for me to seek them out. Time for them to repay my selflessness.

Take the time. Make the time. Do the time.

Even five minutes can give you the boost needed to keep rolling through your day. You may discover that time must come from another part of your routine.

That’s okay.

I love my soaker tub and take a hot, Epsom salts bubble bath a couple of times a week. I often walk away from dessert and kitchen clean up after dinner to go have it.

Do I miss that time with my family? Yes, sometimes. Other times, most times, stepping away gives me a fresh outlook. Makes the time I spend with my family more meaningful.

Fresh air, sunlight, and friendly neighbours.

My front deck has become my best friend. I greet mornings, coffee in hand, with deep breaths of cool air and the rising sun warming my face. I welcome evenings with a glass of wine, enjoying the descending darkness as the world quiets down. My moments sitting outside not only helped me get to know my new neighbours since we moved in, but it has also replenished my energy and given me precious moments alone.

Feed the need.

This is my favourite way to fill my cup back up. I have always needed to express myself. My words, spoken and written, come from my heart and soul. Stories fill my mind and need to be released. It is the freedom of writing those stories and giving my imagination free rein, that feeds the need to express myself.

Find your need and figure out how to feed it. It is amazing how quickly your cup refills itself when you do this.

Eat, sleep and be merry.

Making sure I take care of myself, that I put my needs ahead of others’, is important, too. Like the safety talk they give you on flights, you need to put your oxygen mask on first. If you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot care for others.

So fill your cup, make it overflow, and you can take better care of others in your life. It’s taken me a long time to put myself first. Too long. But it’s made a world of difference in my mental, physical and emotional health.

Your loved ones will thank you for putting yourself first. They will reap the rewards as much as you will. You’d have so much more to give others if you put yourself first.

Tag, you’re it! Kristina God Ryan DeJonghe Wendy Newman Kara Summers