Emotional Energy and our interactions
Whilst reading up on spirituality, I stumbled over a phrase something along the lines of, ‘We are but balls of energy floating through the universe’. Exploring it further, it highlighted the importance of emotional energy, and the everyday often subtle things we do, which impacts on this. Reflecting on my personal and professional experiences, I found it’s something that we may not be consciously aware of, and the research is still in its infancy.
The first documented research on ‘The science behind energy psychology’, was conducted as recent as 2000. Energy psychology research focuses on an emphasis that ‘Our mental and physical health are related and affects the flow of and function of electrical energies and energy fields’.
Science and Evolution
Biological research and sleep coaches have helped us understand that we have different body clock/sleep patterns and label us either ‘Night owls or early risers’. However, it can fluctuate, because body clocks are influenced by our genes and our lifestyle, so our circadian rhythm can change over our lifetime. Awareness of this helps us understand when and why we have more energy and so are ‘At our best’. I certainly have more energy at the start of the day and therefore priortise important work before lunch.
We have hormones that promote positive feelings, such as pleasure and happiness (appropriately called ‘Happy Hormones’), that are released through a combination of activities and interactions with people. There is no complete agreement by scientists on the clear benefits of each one (lots of overlap etc). However, if you were to research further, you will find that the dominant ones are, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins and dopamine. They help us function as a species, survive, and are therefore linked to our energy levels.
The brain’s evolution has also insured that we react, have more energy, and so feel better with light and blue sky. As a human specimen, we had to be more alert with the light to survive, as we were hunting prey, and avoiding predators during the day. Of course, we needed to rest, and we did this during the night, so lack of light and darkness continues to make us drowsy. In this respect, the brain function hasn’t changed too much.
‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ (SAD), is very common, because we feel better with light and blue sky. I often have clients bemoaning the change of season. Having been fortunate enough as a Northern European to have experienced winter sun (and tranquility of the blue sea), I know that the impact on your mental health is significant and lingers in terms of energy and freshness, long after you’ve transitioned back into the cold winter dark afternoons and evenings!
Considerable research has gone into understanding our personalities and individual differences. We are introverts or extroverts (You may even find that you can fluctuate between both depending on whose company you are in). Extroverts get their energy off people, Introverts from their privacy. Perfect example of this is the impact on lockdown. Extroverts struggled for motivation working from home, as they missed the social interaction and the positive impact this has on energy levels. Introverts were less affected and when given choice post lockdown to return to their office, often preferred the tranquility at home to harness their energy levels.
Interactions
I’ve lived in different parts of England, spent a year in USA and settled back in England, in the city of Liverpool. Renowned for its humour, friendliness, and hospitality, the people also have a passion and spirit for life, that I’ve rarely seen replicated elsewhere.
Passionate people will give you energy because it stirs up positive emotions. We all remember our favourite teacher and, as much as it’s how they made us feel, it’s also because they probably brought the subject to life with their passion, and we got motivated. ‘I’m not really sure why I liked geography, history etc, but I liked the teacher’.
It’s easy to have energy ‘drained’ also. Any negative interaction will have an impact on our mood and motivation. I’ve experienced this professionally, which led me to making some drastic changes. A client * mentioned recently she was surrounded by friends and work colleagues who ‘Just complain about their lives and everything in it and it absolutely drains me of energy’. So, words, interactions, and time we spend with people matter.
In a sporting context, sports teams often see, what the media now call a ‘bounce’, when they change coach. The new appointment bringing in an energy and positivity to influence all around them, which the former struggled to do at the end of their tenure. The respective clubs’ supporters often contributing to the negative energy that contributed to the coach’s demise, by constantly bemoaning performance levels at the stadium.
Energy Flow
Where focus goes, energy flows. The Italians have a term ‘Tiempo Gusto’, which translates to the importance of living in accordance with our own inner tempo. We certainly need to be mindful of this, to successfully meet one of life’s most difficult challenges, i.e., the work/life balance. I include myself, as it took me time to get this right, but I also can’t think of a client who hasn’t raised or struggled with this.
Emotional ‘burn out’ follows a schedule that has been too demanding. Young athletes I’ve worked with, have been vulnerable to this. Often unable to express concerns with words or understand themselves appropriately, as to why they don’t feel sufficiently motivated when their body is so fatigued. But after a period of rest come back refreshed and re-energised using such language as, ‘I’m in a completely different headspace now and can’t wait to play again.’
It should be of no surprise that younger clients also bemoan the negative impact of social media and that ‘I’ve taken a break, as it just drains me ‘. I’m not an avid social media user but I’ve made a similar decision with mainstream media for the same reason!
Self-care and Support
We give energy and importance to anything we focus on. How we take care of ourselves is vital. When I’ve struggled in the past with balancing personal and professional stress in my life, I’ve been mindful that my energy levels were depleted as a result and so turned to some self-care therapy/techniques to help me ‘re energise’. I knew during this period that as part of the struggle, I was withdrawing from things that I enjoy doing and so closing down my energy channels.
Reflecting on this period now, I was so low, I don’t recognise that person, I was irritable and impatient and struggled to think clearly. Work was having such a negative impact and I was dealing with my parents and niece’s health concerns. So, anxiety, worry and stress were unavoidable. I was fortunate enough to have the self-awareness to address it. Experiencing the benefits of acupuncture, soundbath meditation, yoga and hypnotherapy, I noted that the common denominator between them, was the practitioner’s mantra of reducing stress and enhancing depleted energy levels through refocusing attention on something more calming.
When life becomes a challenge, we need an empathetic, compassionate, partner, parent, friend, boss who has the emotional intelligence to help, not hinder us. We are adaptable and resilient as a species because of this, not despite it! All belief systems are linked to energy. A client of Muslim faith often refers to prayer for solace and gratitude. ‘It turns what we have into energy’, is what I often hear related to prayer.
Should be noted that we get an energy lift from caffeine and sugar. However, such energy spikes can be counterproductive for our physical and mental health. We survived as a species before they came along!
Conclusion
What is clear, is that seeking energy from within, leads to a more satisfying experience. Having the awareness of ‘when we are and not at our best’ is important to acknowledge. It will help us decide with who, how and where we spent our time. Such interactions and activities are key and as they will impact on mood, motivation, and energy. You will also keep going back to people who give you energy.
Developing your emotional intelligence will make you more aware of your energy levels. Such awareness is crucial, it’s part of our spiritual growth to evaluate where we put our energies. It epitomises the spirit of the human being. We all yearn for ‘quality of life’ and this includes taking care of ourselves. If the work/life balance is such a challenge, it makes sense to understand the importance of emotional connection and having our emotional needs met through our interactions and the release of happy hormones from dusk to dawn.
It also makes sense when our emotions are self-debilitating to cleanse energies through self-care strategies/therapy. People with such understanding, have lower stress perceptions because they know the activities that they immerse themselves are beneficial and so purposeful. Instant energy hits around food/intimacy gives us emotional energy and pleasure, but it’s about the things that we spend most of our time doing that are most worthwhile. Energy drainers and the wrong environment teach us that it’s better to invest time on activities and people that truly matter.
Fundamentally we can generate our own energy through heightened self-awareness and the decisions we make. Such introspection is what religious people call our soul. Our level of energy therefore is likely to be determined by good deeds, positive interactions, our values and convictions. Energy is precious and so is time. Choose carefully. Pursuit for excellence could be based on using our full energies to the very best that can be.
‘Be picky with who you spend your time with, wasted time is worse than wasted money’.
*Of interest client suggested purchasing a golden retriever puppy (renowned for being intune with owners emotions) had the biggest impact on lifting emotional energy/mood.
