PROMPTED REFLECTION | POETRY

Emotional Disgrace

A vulnerable place

I read this week’s prompts on the screen Full-blown resistance intervened

“What emotions do you find it hardest to accept within yourself?”

Wanted to leave it sitting on the shelf The tell-tale sign I needed to address Time to own up to myself and confess Emotions that challenge my soul to express

Anger, pride and desire

Those I least admire In me Expected me

Why?

I try

To understand what they are telling me The insights begging to be set free I still don’t know what they want me to know I see it in my partner I see it in my father I see it in my youngest

It’s my anger on show

Rage out of the cage In an instant Inconsistent Fading then shading

A limit reached Righteousness leached A way to be Only I can see

Open eyes to what is The answer to this pop quiz Easy to say, not easy to do Changing the feet in my shoe In the heat of the moment Hindsight my necessary component Energy reducing Drama producing Sometimes I need to leave Sit in silence and breathe

Reset Reflect Reject

Accept

A vision of my choice Calmly use my voice Return to listen Without opposition Make a decision Unconditional love

To what sized glove?

Now a ride with pride I already feel fried Anger left me depleted Luckily I’m still seated

Tall poppy syndrome Born in an Aussie home Don’t stand out Or sellout Or Doubt doubt

Who do you think you are?

You don’t deserve to shine like a star Dim your light, hush your voice Like you ever had a choice Do what you are told Stay in the box we’ve sold

Don’t make a fuss And you’ll get an A-plus Success on a dirty plate With no reserved date Unless you play the game And keep yourself lame A balancing act tough to tame

Glad to exit the race But do I still want to leave a trace? Purpose my way

But…

Is purpose disguised pride at play?

Desire makes me a liar I don’t know my soul’s deepest desire Creating is my passion, my fire But is that the same thing as desire?

I want to experience it all Even the parts I take a fall

But…Do I really?

Can I live and love and let life and love live freely?

Sometimes it hurts too much to see transparently

A longing for the filters to be back Return to the comfy known track Wishful thinking Not what I wanna be drinking

But… Wait. What. If. I….find….

Desire confuses my mind

A rhyming reflection Or mindful deception Who knows for sure?

Trust the universal law All things for a reason Perfectly assigned season Conditions met Meaning set

To be

Just be

Me

Thanks, 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊. for her powerful prompting this week.

Discovering what I didn’t know I needed to know, and still don’t know!

Laughing along the way as I stumble along the balance beam of life.

My emotions, all of them, beautiful signposts teaching me to observe and learn. Lovingly accept who I am, in every moment of now.

Thanks for reading

Thanks for being you