Embracing Who You Are is Some of the Best Mental Health Advice

We must choose to live authentically

*This doesn’t apply to anyone who has a diagnosed mental health illness or disorder.

I used to live unauthentically.

I always worried about what people thought of me and if I was meeting their expectations.

Growing up with this mindset riddled me with self-esteem issues, low confidence, and a poor sense of self and identity.

It wasn't until I felt my mental health take a significant hit that I decided to do something about it.

Seeking professional help saved my life.

I was falling down a rabbit hole, and I had no idea how to escape. Thanks to my counselor's help and guidance, I climbed out.

One piece of advice she gave me years ago that still rings in my mind every single day is this: be yourself and live authentically no matter what it costs you.

I believe this is something that too many of us are struggling with and is one of the many reasons our mental well-being is in disarray.

As I said, this applies to those who do not struggle with mental health illnesses/conditions.

(I feel the need to over-clarify this because people like to twist words).

Many of us cannot recognize the decisions we’ve made along the way that are/were not authentic to us.

For me, one of these decisions was going to college.

I did it because that’s what the world said I should do.

I don’t necessarily regret the experience.

I learned many lessons in college, but I recognize that if I knew what I know now, I would have chosen a different path.

This recognition or revelation is something that many of us haven’t come to terms with.

Many of us chose to go to college or trade school, or maybe the opposite, yet wonder why our lives did not turn out like expected.

Even if we do come to a point where we recognize we took a turn that took us in a different direction than we wanted, too many of us aren’t course-correcting.

We believe since ‘so much time’ has passed and we’ve ‘invested a lot’ in this one path, we might as well keep going.

But I couldn’t do it.

I have an M.B.A. and a bachelor’s degree, but I couldn’t spend another minute working for Corporate America.

I had a terrible experience, but more importantly, I realized that working a 9–5 is NEVER going to give me the lifestyle I’m looking for.

The moment that I accepted that climbing a corporate ladder wasn’t what I wanted, I freed myself to look for other options and different paths.

I took the pressure off of myself and gave my mind a break (improving my mental health).

UNDERSTANDING and ACCEPTING what you don’t want will help you figure out what you DO want.

As I said, once I accepted that corporate climbing wasn’t for me, I started looking and dipping my feet into other jobs and opportunities to see which one I at least didn’t hate.

This is how I found bartending.

If you don’t know (I’ve mentioned it in other blogs), I currently work full-time as a bartender/server.

The funny part is I didn’t find the job; the job found me.

When I opened my mind to other opportunities and searched for success in other, unconventional ways, it’s like the universe, God, whatever you want to call it, knew I was willing to try new and different things and brought them my way.

I was offered a position as a bartender two years ago at a local bar in the town I used to live in.

I started working only on weekends, but other events (getting laid off unexpectedly AGAIN…) led me to pursue the position full-time, and the rest is history!

I don’t love bartending, but here’s the thing that helps me the most… I don’t hate it, either.

I’m neutral about it, and this has made a significant difference in my mental health.

In addition, this job allows me enough free time to pursue other endeavors.

Thanks to the schedule I have (I work four days per week), I have enough mental energy left over to focus on writing and YouTube (I started uploading to YouTube this year. Check out my channel if you want to get to know me outside of Medium!).

Having this time available has helped me envision the life and lifestyle I truly desire.

And what a freeing feeling it is to know (more or less) where I’m headed.

It’s also a very calming feeling knowing that I am indeed working my way towards building the life I want.

Unfortunately, there are so many people out there dreaming and envisioning a life that they can be truly content in, but they are on a job or career path that’s taking them in the opposite direction of that vision.

The only way to start moving in the direction that aligns with your vision is by first understanding and accepting what you DON’T want.

When you embrace that part of yourself, you’re freeing yourself to choose what genuinely aligns with you.

That will bring peace to your mind and improve your mental health.

I know it because I’m living it.

You don’t need to have a full picture; you just need to embrace it and BEGIN pursuing it.

I believe people fall under the misconception that if your vision isn’t complete or perfect, you’re walking without direction.

But that isn’t necessarily true.

Even if you have a vague idea, that’s enough to guide you and begin making some moves.

When you choose to live authentically, not just in your career but in your relationships, your finances (this is closely tied to your career), health, and overall lifestyle, your mental health will improve because you’re no longer forcing yourself to fill a mold that doesn’t have enough space for all of you.

This is what I did to myself years ago.

I tried desperately and with all my energy to fit myself into a box that didn’t have enough space for all that I am and will be.

It left me exhausted, drained, fatigued, all the synonyms of these words.

We need fluid boxes and molds because, as human beings, we’re constantly changing and evolving.

If we want to have peace of mind(and, therefore, stable mental health), embracing this fluidity is key.

Embrace who you are, what you envision for yourself, your dreams, your aspirations, and your passions.

Find out if there’s a way to pursue them.

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to make a career or a business out of it but do make some time to allow yourself to explore what else is out there.

In this pursuit, you will find the parts of yourself that you were missing, and along the way, you will see and feel your mental health improve.