In The War Against Impostor Syndrome, The Heckler Within Could Be Your Greatest Ally

This is how I get him to fight for me

You suck! That’s how it usually begins…

“What you write is so obvious. Everyone knows already. Jeez, you’re just adding to the noise of the ironically titled self help industry.” — The Heckler

Yeah, that guy is a bit of a jerk. The Heckler is a permanent resident inside my head. He is part of my inner dialogue. He often makes me feel like an impostor. As much as he makes me doubt myself, sometimes the jerk has a point.

When I reflect on my experiences, I look to find useful ideas and advice to share with others. I seek differentiation in the nuances that have yet to be articulated. I get lost in the details and often end up with advice that doesn’t drift far from the norm.

But occasionally it does. And, I have a mini-breakthrough.

I try to add granularity, depth and reason to solidify the advice I give. I believe in the power of strong principles and meta learning, which others can often interpret as being generic. Philosophy is generic in nature but it doesn’t mean it can’t be applied to your specific circumstances. It doesn’t make it less useful.

My opinions are intentionally mild. I don’t believe in being contrarian for the sake of being contrarian. I do my best to avoid imperatives and extremes such as telling people what they need, what they should always do and what they should never do.

As far as I’m concerned, I’m here to provide options and open up fixed mindsets. I’m not trying to direct or instruct. I don’t want to write authoritatively but sometimes it helps to answer why anyone should bother reading.

I believe that good ideas should be able to stand on their own and they can come from anyone.

Often, I just want to provide an alternative perspective.

However, one critical comment from the Heckler can get me to rewrite pieces several times or scrap them entirely. If that uneducated fool can tear down my arguments with a single comment, imagine what brighter minds could do.

If I pay attention to the objections and quips that the Heckler makes, I realise that there is a lot of truth in it. The Heckler keeps me humble and holds me to a higher standard. He screams when I am not doing what I ought to be doing. He makes me rethink what I write and scrutinize it further. And he reminds me not to be so exhaustively boring. (Can you imagine my writing without him?)

The Heckler is on my side whether that is his intention or not. If there is genuine criticism, I will give him the attention he deserves. But if there isn’t, his comments will be dismissed without hesitation.

The Heckler is an astute attention seeker that understands what gets a reaction from me now. And, more recently, he has changed his tone. He doesn’t “heckle” so much anymore.

Instead of calling me silly names or telling me I suck, he shouts advice like “Why don’t you stop being so pretentious, strengthen your arguments and say what you really think? Don’t oversell and underdeliver. Oh, and clean your damn room you filthy animal!”.

Maybe we are finally getting somewhere.

So how do you deal with impostor syndrome or negative self talk?

Let me know in the comments.

Apart from working with the Heckler, I think it’s important to understand that there are some mistakes you have to make.

And if you are struggling to understand or even articulate your feelings, you could try journaling. I used to resist meditation or things like journaling as I thought they were a little oversold. But journaling is something I stumbled upon by accident.