Embracing The Empathy Inside Me

Summary

The author reflects on their personal journey of discovering and embracing their innate empathy, which has significantly shaped their interactions and relationships throughout life.

Abstract

The article "Embracing The Empathy Inside Me" delves into the author's realization of their unique empathetic nature, which became evident in their teenage years. The author describes how they naturally attracted individuals in distress and found fulfillment in providing comfort and support, often at their own emotional expense. Despite facing societal expectations and the occasional 'friend zone', the author values their ability to empathize as a core aspect of their identity and a "super power" that aids others in times of need. The author acknowledges the draining effects of intense emotional environments but maintains that the rewards of helping others outweigh the costs. They also challenge the gender stereotype that associates empathy with femininity, emphasizing that empathy has been a key trait in their success as an educator and in connecting deeply with people.

Opinions

The author believes that their empathetic nature is a defining characteristic and a strength, not a weakness.
They express a sense of pride in being able to make others feel better and in being a good listener.
The author disagrees with the notion that empathy is solely a feminine trait and argues for its universality.
They suggest that empathy can be exhausting, particularly in emotionally charged settings like funerals and hospitals.
The author values the impact of empathy in their professional life, particularly in teaching, where establishing a genuine connection is crucial.
They reject the idea that they should change their empathetic nature despite occasional personal sacrifices.

Inspired by this week’s prompt.

Image by Gerd Altmann on Pixabay

I don’t know when I realized I was different than most people. I would guess it was when I was in my mid to late teens. I didn’t know what it was at the time. I think I felt it was something wrong with my character. I tended to attract people who were hurting. I had my friends I hung around with, of course, neighborhood and school. Good solid friendships like most people. Some of my close school friends tended to be damaged. We would talk about different things. My life was good at the time or so I thought. I had normal teenager issues but who didn’t.

It was late teen years or the start of university that I started to notice that I would go out of my way to help people with problems. Often, at the end of a big party, while others were figuring out who to hook up with (didn’t call it that back then), I found myself talking with someone who was upset about something. I didn’t mind, in fact I enjoyed it. I found I had the ability to make people feel better. I didn’t know to call it empathy yet.

Honestly, sometimes it caused issues. A number of guys I knew often joked why I didn’t take “advantage” of situations I found myself in with upset female classmates. Sometimes I found myself in the friend zone after helping a friend through issues. Sometimes I would not work on my feelings because I knew how vulnerable someone I cared about was. I would not change the person I was or am for anything. Like Diana mentioned, I think it is a super power. I now know that it is being empathic. I can feel someone suffering. I can feel hurt and I tend to want to help.

I don’t want anyone to think I can heal people, but often I can make them feel better. I can sometimes make someone even a stranger feel comfortable enough to talk about what is bothering them. We all know talking helps. I rarely suggest anything unless asked. I do not try to solve anyone’s problems. I do sometimes offer resources if I think they might help but don’t let anyone think I have the answers. When people are hurting just a brief reprieve can be a huge weight of their shoulders. Just finding someone who is willing to listen yes LISTEN. Listening is a good thing.

There are some issues with it, but anything worth having comes with a cost. Crowds and large gatherings can wear me out. I can sometimes become exhausted just being in one. Funerals and hospitals really wear me out. I usually need a couple days rest afterwards, but it is worth it to help people. Empathy is often looked at as a feminine trait.

Elies Hadi touched on that in her article “Embrace The Feminine In You”. Some males in my life told me I should get over it. But I think it was one of the things that made me such a great teacher with both male and female students. You have to buy into a person if you wish them to buy into what you are selling (teaching).

Of all of my gifts and abilities I have, I think the one that most defines me as me is my ability to empathize.