Embracing Retirement-Are the Holidays Stressful for you?
Volume 14: Tips for reducing stress and coping with grief.
Welcome back to my popular series on retirement. December is here. Thanksgiving has come and gone. December means the holidays are approaching and all the hustle and bustle that goes with it.
Are you feeling stressed? Even though you are retired and have all the time in the world? You thought being retired would make this time of year easier? Not necessarily. In addition, if you are dealing with grief, it can make this time of year that much worse.
Being retired is great; I have adjusted well to it. I hope my articles have helped you enjoy your retirement. However, it's not always easy. It’s a new chapter in life, and with it comes new challenges. The holidays also bring unique challenges. The key, I think, to enjoying the holidays and retirement, in general, is learning to manage your time efficiently and to not expect too much from yourself and your loved ones. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Learn to Pace Yourself
Sometimes having too much time can work against you. Go figure. You worked all your life to be able to have more time. You may find yourself so obsessed with a task that it becomes overwhelming; it becomes the only thing you focus on. Enter the holidays. Prepping for the holidays can consume you if you let it. After a while, this will wear on you and can lead to a stressful situation. I speak from experience.
As I have stated through my series of articles entitled “Embracing Retirement,” you have to sometimes take a break from things just as if you were still working. Being obsessed with a task (such as prepping for the holidays) can lead to the same type of stress you had when working full time. You need to take a vacation, so to speak, from anything you continuously focus on for a long period of time.
Take a Break and Relax
In my last article, I wrote about how decorating for the holidays can be therapeutic and a great activity for families.
However, just like with any task, don’t let the holidays overwhelm you and become the only thing you are focused on. You need to take a step back, perhaps do something different for a day. Take a day trip. Go out for lunch. Anything to relax and think about something different. There is plenty of time to get things done. You will be glad you did. I guarantee you will feel better and be able to bring a fresh perspective to the table. (I wrote about this in more detail in my first article in the “Embracing Retirement” series.)
The key is to not become obsessed. Variety is the spice of life.
If You Are Grieving Loved Ones Focus on the Here and Now
The holidays can be especially difficult for those who are grieving. Perhaps you recently lost a loved one or a loved one passed during or near the holidays. This time of the year just makes it more difficult since it stirs up memories and emotions. We miss them more this time of the year. The memories are many.
My suggestion is to focus on those we still have and to enjoy and cherish them. Embrace the living, and think back with joy of the loved ones we have lost. Enjoy your children and grandchildren. Is this easy? Not even close. But we can only try to move on and smother ourselves with the love of those still with us.
For example, I lost my Dad in 1995 and my Mom in 2012. Was it difficult? Yes. Do I miss them? Of course. It never gets easy. However, at this time of the year, I think back to Christmas as a kid and how special my parents made it for me, my sister and my brother. Those memories make me smile and help tremendously in overcoming the grief of losing them. Embrace the positive.
During this long pandemic, it certainly has been difficult since so many loved ones have been lost. The vaccines have brought much hope that we can overcome this. I urge those who have not been vaccinated to do so. Please remember, it's not just about you.
