Embrace Your Weirdness

There is an umeboshi on your back.

Maybe the reason people get jealous of each other is because they can clearly see the umeboshi on other people’s backs. I can see them too. I can see them perfectly. There is an amazing umeboshi on your back, Kyo-kun. -Natsuki Takaya, Fruits Basket

Before I became a mom, I had an epic manga collection. And my favorite, favorite manga series? Fruits Basket. Note: Please take the anime with a grain of salt--it’s rubbish compared to the source.

In it, the main character has refers to herself as a "rice ball in a fruits basket," meaning that she never really fits in. As the story progresses, she tells someone she loves that he’s special, using another rice ball analogy. Saying basically that we all might think we’re a plain and boring onigiri (rice ball), but there’s a filling on our backs that we can’t see. She tells Kyo that he has an umeboshi (pickled plum) on his back. It’s a touching story most anyone can relate to if they’ve ever felt a little weird.

It makes sense that I love Fruits Basket so much because it’s full of family trauma and abuse, curses, love, depression and hope. And healing. Totally up my alley.

In fact, most manga I love is somewhere in that vein, but Fruits Basket simply outdoes them all.

I grew up watching anime and Adult Swim in the Nineties as a teenager. It wasn’t until I was an adult with disposable income that I got into manga.

And hello! No one told me there were more options than the boys' stories or magical girl series that were so popular at the time in the US.

Collecting Shoujo and Josei manga was my version of watching The Young and the Restless, I suppose. A real guilty pleasure.

I took this photo of my manga collection nearly six years ago, before I met my daughter’s dad, before I had any inkling my life would change so much in the coming months.

If you look closely, you might notice some YA novels thrown in there too.

Because I’m one of those grownups who will probably never actually grow up. I don’t know exactly how to explain it. I grew up reading stories like Black Beauty, Bridge to Terabithia, The Witch of Blackbird Pond, and The Sally Lockhart Quartet with a healthy dose of R.L. Stine.

And it never made sense to stop.

I collected A Series of Unfortunate Events as each volume was published. I read Coraline. Someday I hope to write my own brilliant cautionary tales to help explain the mixed up world we live in.

I am a sucker for a children’s story that teaches a real-world lesson — like how just because someone has authority, it doesn’t make them smart or correct. And sometimes people who are nice to us have ulterior motives that aren’t good for us at all.

The truth is that I am very much a child at heart.

When given the choice, I will always choose the pink thing--whatever it is. My love for all things Hello Kitty will never die. I can't watch scary movies at night if I'm going to be alone afterward.

Growing up, my mom hated watching anything animated or about high school. I never got sick of either.

And I’m not just youthful in my likes or entertainment choices.

I'm a little quirky when I'm comfortable with people. I've been known to meow or grrr in normal conversation. I enjoy random 2 am trips to the grocery store or, well, anywhere.

I still love adventure. And I still feel like the same girl with that manga collection even though it's long gone. I sold it to a used book reseller for money at my daughter's first Christmas.

I don’t even mind being called a ‘girl’ at 35.

My circumstances have changed greatly since becoming a mom. I don't keep up with today's music, don't see the latest movies, and don't read for pleasure nearly as much as I'd like. Or at all.

But I'm still me. Quirky me.

And I've discovered over the years that I feel so much better when I do the silly little things other people find too silly to do. Or I indulge in the entertainment other people pan which I adore.

Or color my hair pink.

Some people think I'm very weird, just for being myself.

And there will always be someone who thinks I should grow up.

I'm okay with that.

Because I think everyone is a rice ball in a fruits basket. And everybody has an umeboshi or something on their back. If they're being genuine.

We all have something that sets us apart in a quirky way and I say embrace it! Don't let the world tell you that you should grow up and quit enjoying certain things.

Because there are certain things our souls really need which no one can dictate. And suppressing those things will not only hurt our soul, but our mental and emotional health too.

So don’t grow up. Or do. But do it all on your own terms. Let go of what other people think you should do. Do what you think you should do because it makes your heart smile.

And quit looking down on yourself like you're too ordinary or plain--because honestly? There's a plum on your back.