Summary

The article discusses the importance of embracing risks and finding courage through three key strategies to lead a fulfilling life.

Abstract

The author shares a personal story of making a bold life change by moving to a new location for a risky job opportunity, which led to a more satisfying life. The article emphasizes the distinction between fear (scary) and actual danger, suggesting that avoiding risks can be more detrimental in the long run than facing them. It introduces the concept of consulting one's future self for better decision-making, advocating for a long-term perspective. Additionally, the piece highlights the power of identity in shaping behavior and encourages readers to align their decisions with the person they aspire to be. The author concludes by offering a subscription to their email list for further insights and invites readers to join Medium for access to a wide range of articles.

Opinions

The author believes that the fear of loss is a significant barrier to taking risks, referencing psychological research indicating that losses are twice as impactful as gains in motivating actions.
Entrepreneur Derek Shivers' opinion is cited, distinguishing between the danger of remaining in an unsatisfying situation and the fear of failure, suggesting that the former is a greater risk to one's happiness.
The author endorses the idea from Matthew Dicks that the current version of oneself is not the best decision-maker due to being influenced by transient feelings and thoughts, and instead recommends considering decisions from the perspective of one's 100-year-old self.
The article posits that behavior follows identity, and that sustainable change occurs when identity shifts alongside behavior, with the author encouraging readers to decide based on the identity they wish to embody.
The author reflects on the concept presented by Donald Miller that people often abandon their aspirations midway through life, opting for easier paths when they no longer see tangible progress, and implies that this may lead to a mid-life crisis rooted in risk avoidance and unfulfilled desires.

Embrace More Risks. Unearth Your Courage. With These 3 Keys.

How I made a brave decision that changed my life

In 2021 I made a decision that dramatically altered the direction of my life.

I was living a comfortable life, with a good job and a solid friendship group. Then I took a new job in a new location. It was a risky start-up with a chance of failure. I’m loving my new adventure.

But when we are scared of something we avoid it.

This can limit our lives and rob us of opportunities. Whether it is reaching out to a new contact, starting a side hustle, or challenging your boss. We need to discover our courage if we want to make brave decisions.

These 3 keys unlocked my courage. They empowered me to make a dramatic change.

Use them if you want to live a better life.

3 Keys to unearth your courage (so you can embrace more risks).

1. Grasp the difference between scary and dangerous

We fear change.

We find losses twice as powerful as gains in motivating our actions. This explains why we find it difficult to take risks. We want to avoid losses.

But scary and dangerous are not the same.

Realizing the difference could change your life.

We’re scared of all sorts of things that won’t kill us, aren’t we? The things we live our lives avoiding. We get to the end of our lives and realize we should have been afraid.

A life lived by avoiding risks.

Entrepreneur Derek Shivers explains it this way:

Staying at BCG was dangerous but not scary. The danger was continuing to do something that didn’t make me happy. Getting to sixty-five years old and looking back and going, ‘Oh my God, I wasted my life.’ Failing is scary. Wasting your life is dangerous.

Taking a risk is scary but playing it safe is dangerous.

This can give you the courage to make the big decisions:

Don’t think how scary it is to move into new territory
Think how dangerous it would be to stay where you are

2. Let the 100-year-old you make the decision (idea from Matthew Dicks)

The current version of you is a terrible decision-maker.

You are unreliable and ineffective. You base your decision on your feelings and thoughts at the moment. We all do. It’s why we:

eat junk
avoid the gym
withdraw our money from the stock market when it crashes
buy gadgets on credit

The current version of you makes so many short-sighted decisions

Now imagine you are 100. You are near the end. Your family gathers around your bedside. You are happy and feel loved. You tell stories and share memories.

Now ask that person what you should do.

The 100-year-old you will have a much better perspective. Their decisions will give you a more productive and fulfilling life. They’ll encourage you to be brave and take more risks. They have more wisdom than you.

Their long-term view means they understand what really matters.

(and it’s not junk food, gadgets, and playing it safe)

3. Make an identity-based decision

Behavior follows identity.

This is why so many attempts at changing people fail. People struggle to eat healthily if they identify as a fat person. That’s why the best change processes involve changing identity alongside behavior.

Your identity is a powerful shaper of your actions.

This can help you make great decisions.

Ask yourself what sort of person you want to be:

A brilliant Dad who is a rock-solid foundation
A spouse who is open-hearted and kind
A writer who changes people’s lives
A leader who protects the vulnerable
An energized grandparent
A financial wizard

Pick an area of your life and clarify what sort of person you want to be.

Brave decisions need to come from the identity that is important to you. Recalling who you want to be can be very powerful in providing the courage you need to act.

Mid-life is when most people give up on their stories.

They come out of college wanting to change the world. But they get into the middle of life and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger.

So they go looking for an easier story. Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

I sometimes wonder if people have a mid-life crisis because they’ve played it safe. Avoided risks and then realise how disappointed they are with their life.

What is it you want to do but fear has stopped you? A change of career? Setting up a new project? Doing some voluntary work? Dating again after a breakup?

Using these 3 keys will give you the courage to make the decisions you know you need to make.

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