Summary

The article discusses the benefits of embracing the role of a planner in a friend group.

Abstract

The author of the article shares their personal experience of being the planner in their friend group and how they used to resent this role. However, they eventually learned to embrace it and found that it comes with several advantages. These advantages include being able to plan things the way they like, developing useful skills, being appreciated by friends, and creating opportunities to spend time with friends. The article also warns against being taken advantage of by friends and encourages readers to use their organizing skills to make great memories with the people they love.

Opinions

The author believes that being the planner in a friend group can be a source of frustration, but it is ultimately a valuable role to play.
They argue that being the planner allows individuals to plan activities that align with their preferences and interests.
The author suggests that planning skills are not common among everyone and that developing these skills can be useful in other areas of life.
They emphasize the importance of not being taken advantage of by friends and ensuring that the friendships are mutually beneficial.
The author encourages readers to embrace their role as a planner and use it to create meaningful experiences with their friends.

Embrace Being the Planner in your Friend Group

Stop resenting that role

In every group, there is a planner.

The person who suggests things to do. The person who organizes trips and outings. The person who texts everyone the meeting place and time.

In my friend group, that happens to be me.

If you’re reading this article, I’m assuming you’re probably that person too. And if you’re not, please appreciate that person in your friend group. Nothing would happen without them.

I used to hate that role. I was annoyed that no one ever stepped out to take the initiative to suggest things and plan them. I hated that everyone relied on me and, if anything went wrong, it was my fault.

For a while in college, I stopped planning things. I told myself that, if my friends wanted to hang out with me, they would have to make the plans themselves.

It was a terrible idea. I spent most days at home, doing nothing, being mad at my friends.

So, instead, I chose to embrace this role. It comes with a lot of advantages.

You get to plan things the way you like them

I’m someone who is very specific about what I like and what I don’t like. Therefore, when it comes to organizing outings and activities, it’s better that I do it. At least it’ll be done exactly how I want it done.

When you are the planner in your group, you’ll get to do all the activities you want to do. If you love botanical gardens and mountain hikes, you’ll suggest these types of outings. Even if it’s not your friends’ favourite things, they’ll come along because at least it’s organized.

If you’re going on a trip and you want to do a detour to see a museum exhibition, no one will complain because you organized the trip.

If you follow a vegetarian diet, you’ll be able to make sure that all your dinner reservations include interesting vegetarian options.

You’ll be able to choose what to do, how well the trip is organized, etc.

I know it is a lot of pressure to have to make all those decisions and to try and ensure that everyone is having a good time. But at least things will be planned based on your preferences.

You’ll develop very useful skills

Not everyone is capable of planning things. It took me a while to learn that.

I used to get very annoyed at my friends for not taking the initiative to plan even a camping weekend.

But I realized that planning things is a set of skills that a lot of people lack.

Being busy with other things, I tasked some of my friends to organize part of the trip we’re taking soon. They didn’t have much to do. Find and book a hotel for a couple of nights. Figure out how we would get from the airport to the hotel.

Things that seemed simple to me.

They struggled with it. They came back to me at every step to ask me where to find information, which decision they should make, what time everyone was arriving, etc.

I was baffled.

I ended up planning it myself.

What is sad is that, if you lack the skills to plan anything, you become reliant on other people to plan things for you. You can never take a trip by yourself.

You end up sitting at home, waiting for someone to organize things. It’s not sustainable.

As the planner in your friend group, at least you’ll develop the skills required to plan things and you’ll be able to plan things for yourself.

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

Your friends will appreciate you more

If you learn to plan things well, people will appreciate you and your friendship.

You’ll become an essential part of your friend group.

One thing to watch out for here is to make sure your friends are not taking advantage of you and your planning abilities. You need to ask yourself if you actually enjoy hanging out with these people on the outings you organize.

If not, find yourself other friends.

If you don’t plan things, you don’t get to see your friends, and then everyone loses

The main argument to organize things if you are the planner in your friend group is that, if you don’t, you simply don’t get to see your friends and do fun things.

If you tell yourself that you’ve organized the past three camping trips, it’s time for your friends to take charge and plan the next one, you simply won’t go camping.

Everyone loses.

So instead of resenting this role, embrace it.

Use your organizing skills to make great memories with the people you love.