Eleventh Hour

Summary

Darcy Thiel is preparing for her father's move to a smaller place, reflecting on the emotional and logistical challenges of the past few months, and expressing a sense of accomplishment and closeness to her father amidst the stress.

Abstract

Darcy Thiel and her siblings have been assisting their father with downsizing and moving to a new home. The process, which began in November, has intensified in the last two months, culminating in a hectic final week. Despite fatigue and emotional strain, Darcy has managed to handle the logistics of the move, including packing, medical appointments, and yard work. She shares the experience of breaking a cherished item of her father's, her father's compassionate response, and the emotional support they've provided each other. With the move imminent, Darcy is focused on completing her tasks, including directing movers and organizing a moving sale, while also cherishing the deepened relationship with her father.

Opinions

Darcy expresses a sense of exhaustion and emotional vulnerability, particularly in the final days leading up to the move.
She acknowledges the difficulty of maintaining focus and energy during this stressful period, comparing it to the challenge of finishing the last days at a job after resigning.
Darcy feels that her father's reaction to the broken statue was understanding and emotionally supportive, which is not always typical of men of his generation.
She is frustrated with herself for missing her psychiatrist appointment and feels that the office could have been more accommodating given her circumstances.
Despite the stress, Darcy values the increased connection with her father and sees the move as an opportunity for growth and compassion within their relationship.
She humorously invites others to the moving sale, implying that community support would be beneficial in reducing the items that need to be packed and moved.
Darcy reflects on the potential sale of the family home, indicating a significant life transition and the hope for a smooth process.

Pulling the last minute things together for a move

Back in November, my siblings and I started a conversation with my dad about the possibility of downsizing into a smaller place. We were meeting with him once a month and cleaning things out a little at a time. Things kept progressively increasing in effort until the last two months which have been in a full-court press.

Now it’s time. He is moving tomorrow. All these months of preparation and there is less than 24 hours to go. The weird thing is, it has been an especially long, long week. If you have ever quit a job and had a hard time finishing out those last few days of work, you know what I mean.

No matter how much I sleep or nap, I don’t feel refreshed. Tuesday was the last real packing day I was going to spend with him, and on Monday afternoon my feet started feeling like lead. I swear it hurt to lift them and walk. Yesterday I got weepy. We went to a neurologist appointment for Dad in the morning which led to a couple of follow-up phone calls I had to make and that did it. I started crying on the way home. There was no way I could make two phone calls that required my brain to be sharp. So I napped. That didn’t help, but I did manage to get the phone calls done. Of course I did. It’s me. But I was in desperate need of cheerleaders to tell me to just keep going. I had five sessions that night as well.

Today is the last day before the big move. Cry number one was at 8:30 am. I had to call Dad and tell him that I broke his favorite fireman statue. I had loaded my car on Tuesday (which didn’t make sense to him to begin with) and I couldn’t pack it full because Frankie has hockey camp all week and he has a very large equipment bag. Things shifted and a box fell on the statue and broke off both of the poor guy’s arms. Now, Dad can sometimes be a typical dad of his generation and not great when it comes to emotions. But he was stellar today. He told me not to cry. It was an accident and he knew I didn’t do it on purpose. He just didn’t want me to cry anymore.

I went home and started on some neglected yard work. I know most people think my yard is always fine, but I can’t help seeing what I see. I know what it is SUPPOSED to look like in order to maintain it properly. I also know it wasn’t important in comparison which is why I was behind. I started to prioritize it this morning and started to feel good about the potential progress I could make.

That is until I realized I had forgotten my psychiatrist’s appointment. I mean, I just don’t do things like that. And of all docs, you never stand up a psychiatrist. Only God knows how much that fine will be. I called and left a message and got there as fast as I could but I was 24 minutes late. She said nope. Can’t get in now until September. Sob session number two with the receptionist. Now I know there is no one to blame but myself but I was pissed off anyway. I’m scattered and not on my game because I am helping a thousand other people, not because I’m sunbathing at the beach. The appointments are only five to ten minutes. She COULD have fit me in, she CHOSE not to. Yep, my fault but I allowed myself to be angry with them anyway.

At any rate, I just had some ice cream with a friend and I’m feeling like all is right with the world again. If I can manage not to have any more crying jags, I may be able to finish my list for today. I may even be able to write up the list for tomorrow of all the things I don’t want to forget to do while I am directing the movers. Empty the fridge, disconnect the TV and all the parts, pack up the DISH for return, remember the little rocking chair that Dad has decided is REALLY important to him so we’re going to try to fit it, finish marking the items for sale over the weekend, blah, blah, blah.

It’s the eleventh hour. Overall, I have to say we have all done a pretty fine job. This might just be the most organized move in history. Most importantly, I feel closer to Dad than I have in years. He comforted me today. I felt his compassion for me. I will savor that for a long time.

If you are bored this weekend, come check out the moving sale. The more you guys buy, the less that has to be dragged into boxes. By this time next week, maybe we will be signing the papers to sell the house. Wish us luck!

I’m Darcy Thiel. I utilize my professional and personal experiences to increase my understanding and compassion to help others. I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Adult Planning Specialist, End of Life Doula, and author. Feel free to check out my profile to hear more.