avatarElanor Rice

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Eleven Words that Scream “Misogynist!”

When men use these words, it’s a surefire sign they hate women

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There are some words one just cannot use without spitting misogyny. The moment I hear them, I think, “Tell me you’re a misogynist without telling me you’re a misogynist.”

Of course, the obvious ones like “bitch,” “femoid,” and “whore” don’t require any elaboration. However, there are other, more insidious words that serve as dog whistles for misogyny.

Men who use these words hate women. Women who use these words hate themselves.

Simp

The language of the manosphere is rife with misogyny, and nothing screams “I hate women” louder than using the slang of the incel.

One of the most common words to come out of the hideous online cesspool known as inceldom is the word “simp.” In incel culture, simps are weak men who can’t “pull” women. So these men offer attention and affection to any woman who comes along without getting anything in return.

More and more, simping is becoming a term for men treating women like human beings. Any man who recognizes that he owes women basic respect and human dignity and that he is not, in fact, entitled to sex in return is now a simp (or, alternately, a “cuck”).

So, any man who insults other men using this word is now a misogynist.

Hypergamy

Hypergamy — or the idea that women only want to date men of higher status than themselves in order to sponge off male resources — is ubiquitous within the manosphere, and it’s bleeding over into the mainstream at an alarming rate.

Men who use the word “hypergamy” tell me a lot more than that they think all women are shallow, mindless gold diggers. They also tell me they’re not interested in our opinions on our own tastes and preferences.

Men who insist that the only thing women want out of finding a partner is to “level up” have a tendency to listen to other men about what women find desirable. Instead of listening to women — you know — the reigning subject matter experts on the topic of what women want, they’d rather keep spewing the 6–6–6 myth they see floating around the manosphere.

Blaming female hypergamy for their loneliness is a way for men to divest themselves of any need to grow as people and simultaneously fault women for their own misfortunes.

So if a man tells me women are hypergamous, he’s telling me the only people whose opinions matter to him are other men.

Evolutionary psychology

The field of evolutionary psychology is rank with sexist Victorian Era misconceptions about animal and human behavior and institutionalized misogyny that just won’t die.

Thus, any man who falls back on this ultra-flawed field to win an argument about “what women are like” automatically outs himself as a misogynist. Plain and simple.

Alpha/beta

Like the term “simp,” the words alpha and beta crop up all the time in mainstream culture now. While it’s still uncommon to hear the average man talking about “reverse rape” or “foids,” men who don’t even consider themselves misogynists fall for the dominance hierarchy crap that has bled out from the manosphere’s rancid culture.

The manosphere took scientific terms used to describe animal social hierarchies, warped them to fit its own notions of toxic masculinity, and sent them back out into the world.

Now, alpha men are men who dominate everyone around them, use whatever means necessary to manipulate and coerce women into sex, and treat us like objects for their use.

Beta men are passive and submissive to alphas (like women are supposed to be). They’re also often thought of as men who in any way think of women as people, refuse to treat us like property, and fail or decline to engage in domineering or aggressive behavior.

Nowadays, men and women who use this terminology immediately out themselves as purveyors of toxic masculinity. They reduce manhood to the ability to control women and impress other men. They reduce women to pawns who exist to elevate men’s status in the eyes of other men.

Human relationships are more complicated than these shallow, vapid concepts. The measure of manliness should not be tied to a male’s ability to force others into subservience.

If someone thinks of men in terms of alphas and betas, if they’re concerned about which rung of the ladder they or others fall on, if they’re constantly trying to one-up men or “neg” and emotionally blackmail women in order to advance toward alpha status, they’re a misogynist.

Pickup

Pickup artistry is another insidiously misogynistic concept. Men using this word indicate that they think of sex as a transaction or prize to be won and women as nothing more than sex dolls to be manipulated into doling out that prize.

It’s a form of entitlement to sex, and it’s also a major indicator that a man has little to no interest in his partner’s sexual needs or desires. He likely isn’t even all that concerned about her consent or safety.

His only concern is obtaining goodies from the sex vending machine.

Thus, it’s a good bet any man who calls himself a pickup artist or listens to the ramblings of pickup artists is a covert misogynist.

Men who regularly engage in this crap are engaging in harassment. They are men who cannot stop objectifying women long enough to develop a human connection with us — or let us take up public space in peace.

Bossy

I’m so sick of this word — and its synonym: nagger — that I’ve gotten to the point of immediately thinking of a man as a misogynist if he calls a woman these terms under any circumstance whatsoever.

Misogynist men call their female partners “bossy” or “naggers” for having any expectations of them whatsoever. They call female politicians “bossy” for asserting the authority of their office.

They even call their actual female bosses “bossy” for criticizing their work or imposing deadlines and standards on them — including perfectly reasonable ones.

Note to men out there. If you use these terms around women nowadays, it’s an automatic red flag.

Mannish

If I had a nickel for every time I got called some version of “too masculine” when I was growing up.

Practically every time I opened my mouth, someone was telling me I was butch, mannish, tomboyish, a bull dyke, etc. And it was virtually always in response to me asserting myself or otherwise failing to tow the demure, pleasing, submissive line.

Surprisingly, this is one of the words that women have most often used against me. My cis female teachers, relatives, and peers used it to police everything I did — down to the position I sat in, the way I spoke, the foods I ate, and the things I was allowed to like.

After all, patriarchy can’t function if women aren’t complicit in our own oppression.

I’m agender, so by traditional standards, I probably do seem quite masculine to the average schmuck. I never took being called butch as an insult — but that didn’t mean the people lobbing the term at me weren’t using it as one.

Women call other women “mannish” to take away our “girl card.” Men call women “masculine” when complaining about our financial freedom and dating standards.

Putting aside the fact that masculine and feminine aren’t real things, trying to insult women by calling us “butch” is a form of social control intended to label behaviors like self-assertion, independence, confidence, ambition, and even comfortably taking up space as the realms of men.

I’m going to operate under the assumption that most gender-conforming women do take being called “mannish” as an insult. It might even bother them enough to get them to change their behavior, to be more subservient, more placating, more agreeable.

That’s the intent behind it, regardless of whether it works, and it’s why this word makes the list.

Family values

Now we’re getting into the religious dog whistles. There are quite a lot of them, but this is one of the most common and most insidious.

People who use the term “family values” want to project a wholesome, child-friendly persona, but the intended meaning of this phrase is quite different from its PR rep.

When I hear “family values,” I hear a list of demands, including:

  • Gays go back in the closet.
  • Trans/nonbinary people get erased.
  • Women go back to the kitchen and the birthing bed.
  • POC shut up.
  • Kids get only information the censors approve.
  • Men regain headship of the home and dominion over the public sphere.

“Family values” never means things like protecting children’s rights or preventing sexual abuse and domestic violence. “Family values” always means a regression to patriarchal gender roles and white supremacy.

Anyone who uses this term is automatically a very special type of misogynist man or self-loathing woman in my book.

Complementary

Complementarianism is the religious concept that God created men and women of equal value (uhuh) but with different roles. Though we’re allegedly as “valuable” as men, women are assigned subordinate, supportive roles.

Women’s role is in the home, submitting to our husbands, bearing their children, and making their lives easier.

Men’s role is in the world, exercising religious and state authority, bringing in the majority of the income, and making the big decisions. Men are also the head of the family, ruling over wives and kids alike.

That’s why anyone who espouses this “separate but equal” crap gets the misogynist label by default.

Separate is inherently unequal. Thus, complementarianism is inherently misogynistic, even when those espousing it claim that men and women are equal in all but our designated roles.

Protect/cherish

These words often go hand in hand, as in, “I can’t hate women. I cherish women! That’s why I want to protect them.”

When a religious man uses language like this, he is not expressing concern for us. He is condescending to us and flexing his superiority.

Not only is the term “cherish” demeaning and belittling, as if one were speaking of a child or a pet. In this context, “cherish” is also code for “objectify,” and “protect” is code for “control.”

Thus, the actual meaning of this phrase is, “I want to protect women from having any say in their own healthcare decisions so that I can cherish them as reproductive objects that I own.”

The only thing any man who uses this language is interested in protecting or cherishing is his seed and his right to force women to incubate and birth it.

Religious people are often very good at disguising their controlling intentions with a veneer of love and concern. Words like “protect” and “cherish” help them do it.

Karen

I know the misogyny of this one is controversial because of its origins in Black culture. Black women coined the term Karen to refer to entitled white women who weaponize their white privilege to get their way.

However, like many words that originated in Black culture, this one got hijacked.

In mainstream society, Karen is now frequently used to refer to any woman — especially one of middle or advanced age — who stands up for herself in any way whatsoever.

Black women invented Karen, so they can use it however they damn-well please. But white men calling women Karens drips with misogyny.

This word has become another mechanism of social control intended to discourage women of a certain age from speaking out or sticking up for themselves.

Don’t send your food back at a restaurant. They’ll call you a Karen. Don’t get mad at your contractor for leaving a hole in your roof. He’ll think you’re a Karen. Don’t forget to smile and placate so you don’t seem like a Karen.

Words intended to shame women into docility are always misogynist, and this has now become one of them.

Bottom line

There you have it! If you hear any of these words come out of someone’s mouth, they’re spewing misogyny. Using these words might not necessarily make them a bonafide misogynist; it all depends on the context.

However, these and other words definitely should raise red flags because they offer clues on what the person using them thinks of women.

I’m sure I’ve left lots of words out. So, if I forgot a word you think should make the list of terms and phrases that scream misogyny, let me know in the comments!

Feminism
Misogyny
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