Eight Steps to Earn the Respect You Deserve

Respect, all of us want it, but are you willing to do what it takes to earn it?

Most importantly, you need to realize that respect is not something innate, it’s something that you can cultivate and earn, and that starts from within by respecting yourself. How can you expect others to respect you if you don’t respect yourself?

Own Your Vibe

Firstly, take pride in your appearance and own your space; this means your hygiene, your grooming, and your style. You remember the majestic walk of lions, don’t you? — think of Mufasa from Lion King. By taking pride in your image and demeanor, you’re sending the message to the outside world that you are equivalent to royalty, and that you are not to be offended. Looking at it from the other end, dressing like crap, with baggy pants hanging down, grandly presenting your underwear, think for a second; what does that convey? Remember: People notice and are going to treat you accordingly.

Your Independence Will Set You Free

The highest level of moral development is to be able to uphold your beliefs and values, even when these true feelings are different from others. Now, this step is probably one of the most challenging limiting beliefs to vanquish because so many times, we end up following the herd mentality, also referred to as groupthink. We don’t want to feel ostracised, and even when we know that what they are saying is wrong, we feel the urge to agree and cooperate. Realize this when it happens, and overcome it; be an independent thinker to command respect.

No More Asterisks

Note number three, speak respectfully, say phrases like “please” and say “thank you” more often. Meanwhile, also clean up your language. Excessive use of profane language can have unintended consequences; when you’re cursing all the time, you sound ignorant and offensive, and people start to tune you out automatically. You do not need to swear to get your point across.

Pause, Please.

Think before you react. Now, this is not easy to do, but what I encourage you to do is practice pausing before reacting. Many times, when people get in a heated conversation, people automatically snap; they react even before processing the information. Exercise and develop the discipline; this takes practice, but the more that you practice, the more of an influence you have over everybody else who mindlessly reacts.

The Golden Rule

Step number five, respect others. The golden rule, you’ve probably heard it multiple times, everybody says, “Treat others the way you want to be treated,” sounds simple, right? But common sense isn’t common practice.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

Luke 6:31

Respect is mutual; if you don’t respect others and their feelings, don’t expect them to respect you or your feelings. Although you don’t necessarily have to agree with what others say as mentioned in the second point, you need to respect where they’re coming from and try to understand them. You may not be comfortable with what they say; you may even conclude that they’re insane and out of their minds, but at the end of the day, you heard them and tried to understand. And they’re going to respect you for doing just that.

Confront Directly

The main point here is, do not talk behind somebody’s back. Gossiping does you no good. If you’ve got a problem or an issue with someone, you need to say it directly. You can do it in a courteous manner enabling open communication as opposed to backstabbing the person. Some tips for critical conversations are — make it a private one-one chat, focus on the problem and not on him/her, provide recommendations that can help solve the issue.

Your Words Equal Actions

Be a man of your word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Be upfront and honest if you decide not to do it. Over time, you build a reputation for being trustworthy, which will eventually earn you the respect you deserve.

Avoid Mediocrity

Try your best at everything you do; your mindset is what counts. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that doesn’t excite you; you have chosen to get out of your comfort zone, and you need to try your hardest at all times. By doing so, you’re will be amazed at the improved richness this attitude brings in all areas of your life. Do not settle for mediocrity. You may not be the best at something, you might even suck at it, but it’s completely okay; you gave it your best shot, and that’s what counts, people will respect you for that.

Takeaways:

Starting from how you look to changing your mindset, you have to take control of your life to earn the respect that you deserve. You have to understand that this transformation does not happen overnight, but you will see the difference over time. By avoiding gossiping, holding on to your independent opinions, confronting your hindrances, and following the golden rule, you will start to earn people’s respect much sooner than you think.

References:

Dillon, R. S. (1997). Self-Respect: Moral, Emotional, Political. Ethics, 107(2). DOI: 10.1086/233719

Luzbetak, L. (1991). Roman Catholics, Bible Societies, and Bible Translation. The Bible Translator, 42(2A). DOI: 10.1177/026009439104202a06

Cureton, A. (2012). From Self-Respect to Respect for Others. Pacific Philosophical Quarterly, 94(2), 166–187. DOI: 10.1111/j.1468–0114.2012.01450.x

Maltz, M. (2016). Psycho-cybernetics. NY, NY: TarcherPerigee.