Wednesday Prompt
Eight Steps to Breakthrough and Embracing Our Highest Life
How I and we can answer our soul’s wake up calls
If you’re not breaking, you’re not really living.” ~Richie Norton
Does going to the Emergency Room twice in one week for what I fear is a cardiac event count as breaking?
By cardiac event, I mean symptoms like palpitations, shortness of breath, lightheadedness, hot flushes, my mind overrunning with thoughts like,
Am I about to die? Or worse?
Fortunately, tests reveal my heart thrives. My doctor suspects anxiety’s the culprit, subscribing wellness classes, lifestyle changes, and a drug, Celexa, I’m determined won’t be necessary.
I fully intend to transform this breakdown into a breakthrough!
If you’re thinking, gosh, I’m having déjà vu here, hang on. I’ve got some goodies to share about the process as well as my own progress. Otherwise, blame it on Diana for the prompt!
Jungian psychologist, educator, and speaker, Dr. Judith Rich, offers eight steps of mindful transformation from breakdown to breakthrough:
Sooner or later, we’ll find ourselves confronted with a “rude awakening.” Something happens, seemingly from out of “left field.” Life occurs. It might feel like the bottom dropped out, the rug got pulled, the cosmic two-by-four just came and whapped you upside the head and sat you down by the side of the road, calling for a “time out.”
These cosmic “time-outs” can take many forms, but they’re all designed to stop us in our tracks and get our attention. It’s the soul’s wake-up call.
Losing a job or a loved one, an unwanted pregnancy, family quarrels, substance and other forms of abuse, a terminal illness, a close brush with death are just a few of the events that can bring us to our knees.
Just when you thought your life was going along fine — BAM! Life comes along and says, “Not so fast, my pretty! Listen up! You have some homework to do.”
You’re in a breakdown.
That homework is her eight steps. Walk with me through them.
1) Declare a breakdown — Simply say, “I’m in a breakdown.” Naming it thus gives the mind something to rally around besides upset and chaos. It’s like coming to a stop sign and putting on the brakes.
Thank you, Dr. Rich. My name is Marilyn and I am in breakdown. It’s not good or bad. It just is. But knowing breakdowns begat breakthroughs for those of us tuned in, I can redirect my fussing, worrying mind to pay attention and declare my intention to have a breakthrough.
2) Acknowledge and feel the emotional impact — Breakdown is life’s way of letting you know you’ve gotten off track. This can come as a shock to the system and the first response is usually some form of emotional upset.
Feel it. Express it.
What, feel my feelings? Won’t that make me more anxious, bringing on more physical symptoms? Actually, the opposite may be true. Acknowledging and feeling my feelings may keep them from somatizing. Plus, I can do something about them.
So here goes: Breathe, Marilyn, breathe. Closing my eyes, and scanning inwardly…I’m scared. Scared I’m near the end of my life. Under that is fear that I am living some but not all my priorities.
I’ve gotten myself over committed to others, uber-responsible at my church. My candles burn at both ends, giving me only five or six hours of sleep a night. My poor brain functions without all synaptic cylinders firing.
So my right hand reaches for the coffee while my left hand dives into the snack bag for nuts and chocolate. Since I’m preparing for tomorrow’s Board meeting as well as writing this post, how could I possibly stop and make a proper lunch?
Oops, the topic is feelings!
Fear of dying. Anger at myself for not being able to either do it all or say no. Anger at others for not helping more. Resentment, frustration, a little jealousy of others who are better able to focus on their passions, and fatigue. Just plain pooped!
3) But don’t stop there. Ask yourself…What core values have I betrayed, abandoned, or forgotten? — In the bigger scheme of things, breakdowns occur when we stray from being true to our core values in some essential way. You have fallen asleep, and breakdown is life’s way of waking you up to that fact.
Core Values?
Hmm. Integrity. The integrity of clearly saying what I will and won’t do. The integrity of knowing what’s most important gets the most time and attention. Boundaries to protect my precious creative time. Commitment to my novel in progress. What about self-love and self-care?
Don’t forget humor. When fear and worry reign, I forget to laugh. Yet I so need to laugh and play and have fun. Thank God, for my Commedia class! But that’s only two hours a week.
4) Assume 100 percent responsibility for your results — Don’t waste your time being right or blaming others. Something more or different was needed than what you brought to the situation. Acknowledge this, but don’t stop there.
I take responsibility.
Yes, I give away my power when I say yyyeeeessss as my mind screamed No! When my hand doesn’t turn off the lights until one or two in the morning. When I drink pot after pot of black tea, cup after cup of creamy sugary coffee. Soy mi problema. I’m my problem.
5) Do a “clean up” — Clean up with yourself and anyone else involved. Be willing to apologize and ask for forgiveness for the unintended impact you had on someone else, if that’s the case. Forgive yourself for getting off track. But don’t stop there.
Clean-up begins!
I signed up for a five-session anxiety management class. I do breathing and mindfulness practices including laughter yoga! I’m learning to not keep looking at church text messages on my cell phone, letting other Board members pitch in. I’ll catch up in due time.
No black tea. Only green and herbal. No regular coffee. Only trace amounts of decaf in my roasted grain beverage. Still to come, longer sleep and better meals. And continually forgiving myself for landing here now.
6) Redeclare your commitment — What really matters? Go back to the core values you betrayed and re-affirm your commitment to them or redesign them if necessary.
In full view of my supportive friends here on Know Thyself, I recommit to living intentionally with integrity, self-loving self-care, healthy effective boundaries, and making time for laughter, fun, and play.
7) Begin again — Breaking down is the precursor to breaking through. In the wake of an upset, there is the opportunity to regroup, press the reset button, and start anew, only from a newly awakened perspective. This usually leads to a whole new way of being and doing in the world, including in your important relationships.
Tonight, the lights turn off before midnight.
At tomorrow’s Board meeting, I will give space for others to take initiative. If something doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done. The broader community can pick up some of the slack.
…it’s the prayers you pray when you feel like you want to quit praying that can bring the biggest breakthroughs.”
― Mark Batterson, Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge
A Final Word about Spirit.
Events bringing us to our knees force or invite us to surrender to Powers and Spirits greater than ourselves. What if that was their main purpose?
God, you mean to tell me, you brought this weird stuff on just so I would seek you out for comfort, prayer, and a closer walk with Thee? Hmm. I’m adding Trust with a capital “T” into the mix, and prayer is how I practice it.
8) Celebrate your breakthrough — Acknowledge yourself for the courage and willingness to face the breakdown and move through it. This isn’t about stroking your ego. This is about having done some hard homework and bringing back wisdom from the experience.
While I’ve been symptom-free for a month, I’m not yet ready to celebrate. But stay tuned, you’ll hear the bells ring and the angels sing!
Thank you, Diana C. for my soul’s wake-up call!
writes political humor and satire to delight socially and spiritually conscious folks. She writes about faith and prayer for the prison newsletter, Freedom Anywhere. She’s the author of Creative Blogging: Ninja Writers Guide to Character Development. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Stay in touch!
