avatarMary Borysova

Summary

The web content provides strategies for designers to effectively manage conflicts through communication, emphasizing the importance of crucial conversations in project success and career growth.

Abstract

The article titled "Conflict management: effective communication strategies for designers" discusses the significance of communication in design work, particularly in resolving conflicts and dealing with difficult stakeholders. It outlines key strategies such as clarifying goals before engaging in important conversations, actively seeking feedback, managing defensiveness, and ensuring a safe environment for collaboration. The text emphasizes understanding the emotional roots of disagreements, focusing on mutual goals, and responding constructively to negative feedback. It also suggests brainstorming solutions together and summarizing plans to ensure clear follow-up actions. The article underscores that effective communication is as crucial as design skills for progress in team settings.

Opinions

  • Communicating about designs is considered more important than the designs themselves, as per Tom Greever in "Articulating Design Decisions."
  • Disagreements are inevitable in design teams, but it's the management of these disagreements that is crucial.
  • Relationships and work goals are of equal importance during crucial conversations, and sometimes the former may be more important.
  • Defensiveness is identified as the biggest enemy of conflict resolution, often leading to a focus on winning rather than finding the best solution.
  • Emotional safety is essential for productive collaboration, and it's important to address any concerns that may make stakeholders feel unsafe.
  • Starting from common ground and acknowledging mistakes can help build trust and facilitate better understanding in conversations.
  • Taking breaks during heated discussions can help de-escalate emotions and lead to more rational decision-making.
  • Brainstorming solutions together and making clear plans with defined responsibilities and deadlines contribute to successful conflict resolution.
  • The article suggests that growth as a designer is not only about design skills but also about the ability to handle disagreements effectively through communication.

Conflict management: effective communication strategies for designers

Leading through design.

Source

Did you ever have to deal with a difficult stakeholder or have to resolve conflicts within a team?

Crucial conversations are what make or break the project, the relationship, or your career. Sometimes we fail to recognize when a normal conversation becomes crucial and either relations or project success is now at stake.

These conversations at the end are what help us progress further much more than any other design-related skills, especially when working in teams.

Communicating about designs was more important than the designs themselves –Tom Greever, Articulating Design Decisions

Disagreements are unavoidable, they happen in all teams in both high and low-design maturity companies. It’s how to manage the disagreement that matters.

0. Stating your goals

Before the important conversation even starts, clarify for yourself:

  1. What do I want to reach in this communication for me? For the other person? For our relations?
  2. What do I want to avoid?
  3. How would I behave if this is what I want?

“I want to reach… while also maintaining and forming friendly kind and close relations with X. I want to avoid overspending time on ineffective discussions about…”

Keep in mind that relations may matter no less than the object of discussion and your work goals, and in some cases, they may be even more important to maintain. As you go into the conversation, you may need to return yourself to thinking about the goals if you start getting emotional.

1. Collect initial feedback

You shared your opinion or work and now you are waiting for the feedback and further collaboration to align on the next steps. You may stumble upon some of these challenges as you communicate with the stakeholders:

1. 1. Silent stakeholder

Some people may not be comfortable sharing negative feedback. You may wait for a long time till you get it, maybe even via other people if your stakeholder is so insecure in direct confrontation.

a. Invite them to share their opinion explicitly

To avoid this, invite everybody to share any feedback they have if you feel like the group or some individuals are silent:

“I really want to hear your thoughts. Please let me know if you see things differently. Don’t be afraid to hurt me.”

b. Prime

If a partner still doesn’t want to dive into their emotions and share their thoughts, it may be useful to make a guess at what is happening and share it. This way you will break the barrier of “neutrality” and sugarcoating there may be present:

“Are you thinking that I didn’t oversee the edge cases around…? That maybe it won’t work for audience X because…?”

1. 2. Implicit irritation

A person may not like your suggestion yet for some reason, for example, a person prefers to avoid conflicts during calls, they are not open to sharing their opinion aloud. Instead of ignoring this red flag and possibly having to deal with it later when stakes are higher, it’s optimal to tackle the issue right away:

“The way you say it makes it sound like you are not fully onboard.“ “By the tone of your voice, you seem upset with this solution. Is that right?”

2. Step out of the conversation and build safety

At some point, the partner will voice their worries about the idea you are discussing and you will have to deal with this feedback.

It may be a neutral constructive criticism you can work with yet also it may be something subjective and abstract. This feedback may be related to not your project goal but to a personal preference or a goal of a stakeholder.

The biggest enemy of conflict resolution is defensiveness.

Often the goal of the communication shifts from reaching the optimal solution for the sake of mutual goal to ego-focused need to win. This may happen to you, your partner, or to both of you at some point.

When listening to another person talking, always monitor for these signs of defensiveness. Partner keeps silent, or starts being aggressive in their words and intonation.

Other signs include:

  • stating “It’s obvious that…”, and “The fact is…” while speaking about their subjective opinions;
  • exaggerating their arguments to make the point or speaking in absolutes;
  • labeling the partner’s words, e.g. saying “Your idea is so naive”.

If you feel like another person becomes emotional, it’s necessary to bring the conversation back to a neutral emotional state. Otherwise, the dialog won’t be happening — each party will be interested in protecting or forcing their opinion and not hearing the partner.

That’s when we start becoming defensive and “fight or flight” mode is activated. Adrenaline rushes to your body and when adrenaline does the speaking, we have the worst conversations with the least optimal results.

Source

1. Understand the roots

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes to understand their feelings and motivations. Is it really coming from this specific person or maybe there is somebody else who affects them invisibly?

Is there a manager or another stakeholder who pressured the other party for fast delivery or specific requests they are insisting on?

The core question to ask is:

“Why do you think…?”

2. State the mutual goal

What is the mutual goal for all participants of the conversation? Keep it in mind, repeat, and refer to it instead of focusing on the differences in opinions. Make sure that everybody agrees with it.

If it feels like your partner/s follows conflicting goal/s, try the following:

“Our goal with this project is to… Do you agree?”

It will be harder for you and your partners to get into the defensive emotional mode, and it will help you go back to the shared understanding of the problem and collaborative resolution.

3. Ensure that the space is safe to collaborate in

Your stakeholders may feel unsafe about the feedback you gave them. They may instantly transition into “fight or flight” mode, silencing themselves or looking for a way to attack you.

There is no way how you can productively work together when the partner feels unsafe and closed to collaboration. Return the conversation back to safety by addressing the partner’s concerns:

“I didn’t want to make it seem like… My goal is to…”

Once the state of “safe conversation” where each party follows the same goal is restated, you can diveback into the discussion.

Source

Example:

You give harsh feedback to your colleague or subordinate and they don’t accept it well. They feel devastated about making a mistake and lose motivation.

What could be done to get them back from the emotional pit?

“I don’t want you to think that I am not satisfied with your work. I think you are doing great job and I want us to continue working together. My goal here is to help you advance. This ____ is what I want you to work on.”

Stakeholder may think that you want them to change their set approach to something, force your idea on them and get into defensive mode.

You can address this by saying:

“I think this problem/project is our mutual solution and I want us to come to the most optimal result. I don’t want to force my opinion on you. I don’t even know what the best solution is. Let’s discuss and see what you and I like about these options and what we don’t.”

3. How to respond to the negative feedback

1. Focus on common and agree first

Surely, there may be many differences in how you view some ideas. Yet if you start from the common ground and then start building on top of it, the progress will be much easier and faster to achieve.

After that, mention the differences using a neutral tone of voice. The tone of voice is often not paid enough attention to — yet we assess the situation naturally by listening to how smth is said and then interpretting the words.

“I agree with you on… Also I would like to share that…”

Make it feel safe — once you mention smth that may be considered a “danger” for a partner, they may go back into “fight or flight” mode.

2. Acknowledge your mistakes

The goal of the dialog is to reach some mutual understanding. If you feel like there is a barrier related to your past mistake, address it first to build trust. If there is anything that you can learn from the mistake you made, you can share that:

“Sorry, it seems I was wrong about… I will check it again and get back to you.”

Or for example, the way you said smth may have came up as accusatory for the other party:

“I am sorry I said it that way. I am not blaming you for… All I wanted for us to find a way to…”

3. Take your time and de-escalate the situation

If emotions are escalating, suggest taking a short break to cool off before continuing the discussion. Step away and just prevent any defensive or impulsive situations and reactions. Give yourself a moment to process before responding.

Try not to take more than 2 days, or 48 hours, to resolve the conflict. Otherwise, it may come up as delaying the process. Nobody wants to come off as irresponsible and avoidant, right?

If you feel like you cannot resolve this issue, you can reach out to managers or other neutral party and ask them to mediate this issue.

4. Brainstorm the solutions together

Explore alternatives together to find an option that will help you reach the mutual goal. It doesn’t mean that there will be no work needed to reinforce this decision further, yet making a decision everybody is invested in should help smooth further implementation.

5. Make a plan and summarize it

Fix the agreement by sharing its details with everybody. Share the decision in written form and include:

  • the next steps and who will be responsible for what,
  • rationale for the key decisions,
  • deadlines,
  • follow-up cadence.

To sum up

Disagreements are a natural part of any work environment. It’s only how you handle them that will greatly impact your growth as a designer. Communication skills just like any other skills require time and attention.

By consciously paying attention to your own reactions, fighting defensiveness, and establishing safety in the team designers can lead the conversations and reach their goals. Good luck!

References:

  1. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler
  2. Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan
  3. https://uxdesign.cc/designers-survival-guide-effective-conversation-with-stakeholders-clients-4ef7ba95c531
  4. https://uxdesign.cc/ideas-to-improve-conversations-with-stakeholders-b412bb984c02
  5. https://www.toptal.com/designers/product-design/effective-design-communication-strategies
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