Editor, Beginner, Futurist: See Yourself Through a New Lens

Prepare the next version of you, on your own schedule.

Last week, I attended a “Fireside Chat” with Chip Conley, author of Learning to Love Midlife: 12 Reasons Why Life Gets Better with Age.

This chat was a little unusual, because it was targeted to coaches rather than “People Who Are Learning to Love Midlife” (although some could be both)! The goal was to help coaches understand their potential role in helping people navigate this unique stage of life.

There are many kinds of coaches: leadership, life, health, and more. But no matter the speciality, we have one goal: transformation. If we’re doing our jobs, you emerge from that relationship a changed person, in small or big ways.

And, as it turns out, transformation is the work of midlife. It’s our biggest challenge and our biggest opportunity, if we’re lucky enough to get here.

In the years from 45 to 65, most of us face caregiving, the death of a parent, children leaving home, health challenges, physical changes, and seismic shifts in our professional lives. And sometimes, it’s all of these at once.

Meeting these moments as the people we once were is sometimes not enough. This new place requires grit, courage, and equanimity, and perhaps for the first time we’re faced with a complicated stew of grief, joy, loss, relief, and confusion.

We can’t help but be transformed by these experiences. And if things go well, we emerge from our midlife chrysalis as a new, more beautiful version of ourselves.

The problem is that transformation can be thrust upon us when we’re not really ready for it.

How can we get ahead of the curve?

One way is to take an active role in nudging it along and start looking at our lives in a different way.

That’s where lenses come in. Lenses allow us to look at our lives with a single focus. They can help us get outside of our regular thinking patterns. All of this can help us change on our own timeline. Try some of these on for size:

The Editor Lens — What have you spent your life acquiring that no longer serves you? Think of your life as a giant page, and of yourself as an editor. What do you want to re-write? What do you want to delete? What captures the essence of your story? These can be physical possessions, but they can also be careers, relationships, behaviors, habits, hobbies, and more.

The Beginner Lens — Midlife and later life is a time for all kinds of new beginnings. More than most times in life, you’ll be thrust into new situations with no experience. What does it feel like for you to be a complete beginner? Are you curious, frustrated, excited, scared, impatient? Which emotions will serve you, and which will get in your way?

The Futurist Lens — Ten years from now, what will you want to remember about the ten years that passed? What will you be happy you did? What will you regret you did? What will you wish you had learned?

What lenses are you using to think about your future? I’d love to hear about them.

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