Summary

The author describes a day of intense dreams, creative block, a discouraging oracle reading, and the subsequent decision to engage in mundane tasks like laundry and housecleaning, which unexpectedly lead to a sense of fulfillment and self-love.

Abstract

The author begins by recounting a period of vivid dreaming, which leaves them exhausted. Despite their usual morning routine of meditation, prayer, and writing, they find themselves unable to produce any words. After an unsettling oracle reading predicting no relief, the author turns to domestic chores, including laundry and housecleaning, as a form of therapeutic meditation. These activities, along with cooking an elaborate dinner, provide a sense of accomplishment and joy, replacing the anticipated writing session. The day concludes with the author watching the movie "Eat, Pray, Love," which aligns with their day's experiences of self-care and introspection, leading to the realization that they have indeed "eaten, prayed, and loved" themselves throughout the day.

Opinions

The author expresses a deep appreciation for the film "Boyhood," considering it a profound work of art.
The oracle, which has never been wrong in over 40 years, delivers an extremely negative and depressing reading, leaving the author in dismay.
The act of doing laundry and housecleaning is seen as a soothing and almost meditative practice, bringing balance to the author's day.
The author takes pride in their cooking skills and enjoys the process of preparing extravagant meals, especially now that they have more time due to job loss.
The author questions their sexuality in a light-hearted manner, expressing admiration for Javier Bardem's attractiveness.
Despite the initial lack of motivation and discouragement, the author ends the day with a sense of self-love and contentment.

Eat, Pray, Laundry

They’re not gonna make a movie about this

For the last week or so I have been having extremely intense dreams every night — not just one or two dreams but many each night. I have not dreamed like this in months if not years. I was practically exhausted from my dreams when I woke up this morning.

But I woke up and went through my morning rituals and I meditated and prayed and ate my egg yolks (the only thing I eat for breakfast). Then I sat down at my desk and opened up my laptop and booted it up, ready to start writing. That is what I do every morning after eating and praying.

To my chagrin, I realized that my well was completely empty. There wasn’t even a single word flopping around on the bottom of the empty well. That is odd and rare. Usually it’s just a matter of opening up to the torrent. But there was nothing.

Luckily, I had written a stupid poem the night before after having watched the movie, Boyhood. I consider that Richard Linklater movie to be a profound work of art; one of the best films to come out in the last decade. It was so great to watch it again.

I reread the poem I wrote the night before and was not impressed but I published it anyway. Like I said, the well was dry.

Then I decided to consult the oracle. It is something I have been doing 4 or 5 or 7 times a year for over 40 years. The oracle has never been wrong!

I got a reading that I have never gotten before in all those 40+ years. It was extremely negative and depressing. The reading consisted of a few paragraphs that told me how fucked up I am but the one sentence that stood out was the last one: “There is no relief in sight.”

Seriously?! Are you fucking kidding me?

So I closed up the oracle and I shut down and closed the laptop. The words, Fuck that shit! crossed my mind several times. Thankfully, I didn’t vocalize those words. Okay, maybe I vocalized them a time or two but that was all.

So I did what anyone would do when their well is dry and the Universe was telling them they were screwed…

… I did laundry.

The one thing that I hate most about the small apartment building I live in is the fact there are no laundry facilities. To have clean clothes I’ve got to lug my laundry 9 blocks to the nearest laundromat — the only laundromat in town. This is why I am perpetually behind on my laundry.

I actually hauled a couple of loads of laundry to the laundromat just a few days ago. After hauling today’s load I am still not quite caught up although I am more caught up than I have been in a few months.

Is there anything more soothing to the soul than doing laundry? Of course there is. But today laundry was the most perfect thing I could have done. My mind was completely and utterly blank the whole time. It was almost as profoundly joyful as washing dishes. It was a form of meditation that helped bring balance to my day.

After hauling the laundry home (I’ve discovered that laundry is always a tiny bit lighter after it has been cleaned) and putting it all away I looked at my laptop sitting closed on my desk and I said, “Nope.”

So I proceeded to spend a couple of hours doing housecleaning. How radical is that? I vacuumed. I took out the trash. I scrubbed cabinets and counters and walls. I finally cleaned that mirror I’ve been wanting to clean for a few weeks. I went quasi-ballistic. It was fantastic! And the apartment hasn’t been this clean since September.

Then I went to my desk to check my phone. I don’t always hear my phone ring when the vacuum is on. No messages. Then I looked at my closed laptop and said, “Nope.”

By this time it was late afternoon. I never had any lunch so I was getting hungry. I decided to go back to the kitchen and start dinner.

The job I just got delightfully laid off from was an evening job, five nights a week. So for the last four and a half years I’ve only had two evenings a week to cook dinner for myself. This has always been frustrating because I happen to be a cooking fool (not just an ordinary fool). I love cooking!

Since I was “pasture-ized” I’ve been cooking extravagant meals for myself every night. It has been wonderful!

Last night I made a spicy Szechuan chicken, cabbage, garlic, and jalapeno stir-fry served on a bed of quinoa with steamed broccoli on the side. It was to die for! (This morning I almost died on the toilet.) I ate the delicious meal while watching the movie, Boyhood.

Tonight I decided to make thinly-sliced sauteed beef in a mushroom and onion and jalapeno sauce with wild rice and steamed asparagus. While the food was simmering on the (clean) stove I went through my movie dvds looking for something to watch while I ate my dinner.

I wanted to watch something that really moved me like Boyhood had moved me the night before. But as I went through all my movies nothing caught my interest. There were some great movies there but nothing tugged at my soul until I got to the very bottom of my last stack. And there it was…

… Eat, Pray, Love. I hadn’t watched that movie in 3 or 4 years and I hadn’t read the book in 7 or 8 years. It was perfect! How can anyone watch that movie and not be moved?

And who doesn’t like Julia Roberts? Plus I consider Javier Bardem to be the number one sexiest man on the planet (and I say this as a straight man).

(Or am I? I know I’m not gay but am I really a straight man? I don’t know anymore.)

Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed my meal and I was profoundly uplifted by the movie. Afterwards I took my plate and utensils and then the pots and pans to the kitchen sink. I said to myself, “Fuck it, I’ll wash this stuff in the morning.”

Eat, Pray, Love was the perfect movie for my day. I ate, I prayed… but I did not love…

… Or didn’t I? I never loved anyone today, in fact I never even spoke to anyone today (I was the only one in the laundromat). Thinking about it, though, I realized that I had been loving myself all day long. So I did indeed eat, pray, and love today.

Then I walked past my desk and saw my closed laptop. I then looked at my little clock and realized that I had maybe an hour and a half before bedtime (and surely another night of intense dreaming). I looked back at the laptop…

… and said, “Okay.”