Ease Depression by Changing Your Response to Good News
Reacting to others’ success with words of gratitude and shared joy can actually decrease a person’s depressive symptoms. Worth a try?
Depression is rampant. We combat it with therapy, medication, exercise, diet, and whatever else we can.
Recently I came across something interesting that I had not heard of. It has to do with how we manage our relationships.
It is simple and, in my opinion, worth a try.
Two German words you need to know:
- Schadenfreude- the pleasure one gets from another’s misery
- Freudenfreude- the enjoyment of another’s success
Studies have shown that depressed people score higher on the Schadenfreude scale and lower on the Freudenfreude scale.
How can relationships be related to a Freudenfreude deficit? Others’ success can elicit a dual response of caring and of competing. When people share good news they generally hope for a caring response (Freudenfreude). If good news is met with an envy response, the person can be left feeling disappointed and confused.
A lack of ongoing Freudenfreude in a relationship can cause it to fail and failed relationships can bring on depression. The idea is that depressed people have a deficit of Freudenfreude.
Now whether more Schadenfreude or less Freudenfreude increases the risk of depression or is a consequence of depression is not at all clear. But what is known is that a lack of Freudenfreude in a relationship leads to its failure and the resulting depression and the avoidance of that is what we turn to here.
How can we increase the Freudenfreude in our relationships? Lucky for us, this has been studied. A two-part intervention was developed. It’s a kind of script or framework to follow when listening to a friend share a success:
- Intentionally share the joy by showing true interest, and asking questions about their success.
- Express words of gratitude toward the sharer. Kind of like, “Wow, that’s great. Thank you for sharing that with me!”
Two trials showed that these techniques improved mood and relationships.
Seems like good practice for relationships anyway and if the added benefit is less depression then all the better!
For more on this study check out Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown or this editorial by Catherine Chambliss