Each evening, as I distribute take-out meals to the needy, I’m on tenterhooks, knowing that at any moment John will arrive.

My heart flutters when I spot him.

John greets me with a warm smile and sweet words. I shyly return his smile and pleasantries whilst struggling to appear nonchalant as my pulse quickens.

Infatuation, one would assume.

I assure you — nothing of the kind.

Am I so insipid as to claim “true love?”

Certainly not! He’s not my type.

Nor am I his: John, 68, favors girls aged nine — give or take two years.

The following day, I chanced upon a research study on arousal. Physiologically, love and fear responses are indistinguishable. I have no cause to fear John; nevertheless, I consider my horror at his crimes — he served nine years in prison — to be “arousal” on a par with the terror of his victims.

Elizabeth Emerald