WRITING|CREATIVE WRITING|CREATIVE NON-FICTION
Notes on a Painting
Is prudishness to blame for a traditionally loincloth-clad Jesus?

Was Jesus naked when he was crucified? This question had never occurred to me until I was recently confronted by a striking painting of the Son of God in St Bartholomew the Great, London’s oldest surviving church. One in which his private parts were on display. After thinking long and hard, I came to the conclusion that at least in works of art, I had no recollection of ever seeing Jesus starkers.
Whether the reason is puritanism or covert anti-Semitism (as a Jew, Jesus would have been circumcised. Not something the dominant Catholic Church would have wanted to promote centuries ago), the fact is that a loincloth-clad Jesus is confusing. We know that when it came to meting out punishment, the Romans were ruthless sadists. Accounts of the time describe how criminals were forced to carry their own crosses to the designated place for their execution. Along the way, the Romans goaded the crowd to beat and kick the condemned. Part of the suffering of crucifixion was public humiliation. And public nakedness was as shaming as it could possibly get. It’s unlikely that Jesus would have been spared any sort of harsh, punitive measure. It makes sense, then, that he would have been crucified naked.
The story gets more muddled up when we read John 19:23. Some versions state that the Roman soldiers took Jesus’ clothes, dividing them into four shares, with the undergarment remaining. This was a seamless piece of clothing, woven from top to bottom. In other translations, both outer and undergarments are removed (interestingly, in my Spanish version of the Bible, the soldiers flip a coin to see who keeps what they call the “tunic).
Whatever the reason for covering Jesus up is, the truth is that for this atheist his nudity renders him more human than the traditional halo-ed depiction we’re so used to. I felt closer to the man in the painting at St Bartholomew than the miracle-maker I’ve read about so many times in books.
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