E.G.O. — Edge G.O.D. Out

Who am I to control the outcome?

I heard this phrase for the first time while listening to a speech from Dr. Wyane Dyer. I learned the phrase’s true meaning today while journaling about a mental block that has kept me unproductive for the whole day.

I am currently working on an experiment where I publish about negative urges and the trigger behind them. The idea is to increase awareness of these urges. Writing about them eliminates the pressure for constant change and, at the same time, helps me to unblock mental blocks.

Trigger

I have been fighting a legal trial for close to six years. Since it was difficult to manage the trail from Australia, I am on a trip to India, hoping my visit will help me move forward in the legal matter. Contrary to my expectation, I have made an excellent start to the trip. Even though the beginning has been great, I don’t want to be complacent.

At each trial stage, I need to make decisions that can have dire consequences. Today is one such day. My lawyer sees an opening in my case and has recommended a strategy. The recommendation has pros and cons, but constant thinking of all permutations and combinations makes me non-functional.

What to do?

I have had multiple situations like these over the past six years. I have handled them positively at times, while I have let the stress overpower my sanity at other times. No matter how bad my decisions have been, G.O.D. has showered me with my family’s safety, well-being, and happiness.

I am struggling today because of my attachment to the outcome. I am living inside a bubble, assuming I can control the result of my decisions.

There is a fine line between confidence and ego. Confidence keeps us positive while striving to achieve something, whereas ego gives us a fake illusion that we can control our destiny.

We are mere mediums whose only responsibility is to make decisions to the best of our potential and let G.O.D. decide what’s best for us. Trust that the outcome is not based on our actions but on G.O.D.’s evaluation of the present situation and our best interest.

I need to let go of the ego attached to the outcome of my actions and instead move forward with honesty and integrity.

Conclusion

I have been non-functional the whole day due to constantly thinking of various possibilities. I like to call this phase spiritually handicapped.

Fortunately, my journaling helped me healthily unblock myself. I was able to make a decision and instructed my lawyer accordingly.

Hopefully, I have done enough to dissect this particular trigger and the urge until I face my following motivation, Goodbye.

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