Summary

The website content discusses instances of absurd and insensitive remarks, termed "dumb-assity," made by individuals in various situations, including on an airplane, in a clothing store, at a nightclub, and during childbirth.

Abstract

The article "Dumb-assity" humorously recounts several anecdotes where adults display a remarkable lack of tact or common sense. The author reflects on the innocence of children's remarks in contrast to the often thoughtless and ignorant comments made by adults. Examples include a pilot announcing a runway accident to passengers, a sales assistant making an unwarranted comment about a customer's size, a bouncer implying a woman's age, and a partner complaining about tiredness after a woman has endured a long labor. The author uses these stories to underscore the frequency and impact of such careless statements.

Opinions

The author believes that the pilot's announcement about a previous plane's accident was unnecessary and insensitive, contributing to passenger anxiety.
The sales assistant's comment about the author's ability to fit into clothes is seen as unprofessional and body-shaming.
The bouncer's decision not to check the author's ID is interpreted as a hurtful acknowledgment of her age, undermining her self-esteem.
The author expresses that a partner's complaint about being tired after childbirth is selfish and dismissive of the woman's effort and pain.
The author is critical of the lack of empathy and consideration shown by people in these narrated encounters, labeling such behavior as "dumb-assity."

Dumb-assity

You can’t make this sh*t up

There used to be a TV show called, “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” The host of the show would interview kids and, being kids, they’d come up with cute and funny answers which would make the audience laugh.

And then there are “grown ups.”

What come out of our mouths isn’t always “the darndest.”

What does sometimes tend to come out of people’s mouths is what I refer to as dumb-assity. Idiocy? Stupidity? Ignorance? Yep. Those are all in there.

There’s a slight to very strong possibility that I’m just a little judgmental.

But I stand behind my judginess. There have just been far too many instances when I’ve been in the physical presence of dumb-assity and wanted to do more than give my head a shake.

In no particular order:

1) I’ve come a long way in terms of my courage on airplanes. I used to be terrified. As Charles Grodin said on Midnight Run, “these things go down! These things go down!”

So there I am, on a small plane, waiting to land one snowy, wintry day. Not to worry, I reassure myself. I’m sure it’s totally normal that we’ve been circling the airport for 21 minutes and 17 seconds. The pilot is waiting for a landing strip to open up. The stranger sitting beside me is probably enjoying how tightly I’m gripping his hand.

And then came the line that just about propelled me into the cockpit.

“We’ll just be a few more minutes,” the pilot informed us.

“The plane ahead of us skidded off the runway and we’re just waiting for it to be cleared away.”

Hell no. Did you just honestly say that out loud??? Did you think you were “reassuring” your passengers? Was it really necessary to make that announcement?

Blatant dumb-assity.

2) I’m in my early 20s and am active. I run, I do aerobics, I swim, I cycle. As I’m standing looking at racks outside a store full of cute outfits, a sales “assistant” approaches. Ah, I think. She’s clearly coming to tell me about a sale going on. Or a line of clothing inside that I might like. I’m exuding, “I am here to buy today, bitches! Give me what you’ve got.”

And then came the line that almost cost that assistant her purple feather earrings.

“Nothing in this store will fit you.”

Hell no. You did not just say that. You did not just body shame me, even when I would have no trouble fitting into your clothes. Do you not want to sell items from your store?

Pure dumb-assity.

3) I’m in my early 40s hitting up a club in New York with 5 friends. Bouncers have concert-goers in lines to check ID. Each of my friends is stopped to have their ID checked in front of me and we are all feeling stunning and youthful. Check us out, Mo-Fos, we are sizzling hot tonight!!!

Until I get to the front of the line with my ID in hand and the bouncer says,

“Go ahead ma’am. I don’t need to see your ID.”

Hell no. You did not just stomp on my soul and send me away with a loot bag of deflated elation. You did not just basically point and laugh at my “fine lines.” You did not just out me in front of a crowd of party girls in crop tops.

That, my friends, was nasty dumb-assity.

4) If you’ve ever given birth, you are more than familiar with the reason it’s called “labour.” It’s not called “wheeee!!!” or “best time EHHH-verrr!!!” It’s excruciatingly painful. (And it might be that I’m a bit of a dumbass for having gone through it repeatedly.)

But after women push out their bundle of (hopefully eventual) joy, what they expect to hear are proclamations that she is the most courageous, powerful, and bad-ass-est woman that ever lived.

Here’s what she doesn’t want to hear from her partner as she’s being wheeled out of delivery.

“I am so tired.”

Hell no. You did not just complain about fatigue after I, the queen of amazingness, graced you with a beautiful replica of myself after 29 hours of labour. And when the nurse looks at you with a glare which should have elicited apologies, or at least silence, dumb-assity should not be followed up;

“Well she got to lie down the whole time.”

And that, for those at home keeping score, would be the penultimate in dumb-assity.

Winner. Winner. Dumbassity. Dinner.