Dude. Relax.

Girls are people, too.

Disclaimer:

The term “guys” refers to heterosexual males. The term “girls” refers to heterosexual females. However, it is not my intention to exclude other identities.

And please note this is all just my opinion.

Most guys I know are terrible with girls.

They respect and admire them, which is good.

But it’s a bit problematic when the same guys flat-out worship them.

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

• Women are queens.
• I will do anything for my girlfriend (if I can get one…)
• Make her your purpose!

Yes, it’s natural to feel attracted to girls (as a heterosexual male). But that doesn’t mean we should put them on a pedestal or be afraid of them.

I’ve been there. Trust me. It’s NOT pretty.

But what about the opposite end of the spectrum — the men who completely disregard women as objects and inferior beings?

I recently joined a men’s group and spoke with some gentlemen about relationships and romance.

And I left disappointed by the depressing opinions these men in their 20s, 30s, and even 40s were forcing onto others:

• Don’t waste your time on women.
• The fact that you are thinking so much about your girl means you have very little self-respect. A “high-value man” has little time for relationships.
• Go to the gym. Build your business. Nothing else.

These men (including others I’ve observed in my life) believe they are somehow “stoic” and “alpha” for objectifying women and completely disdaining them.

They view women as sh*t-testers you have to constantly win against. And if you win just enough, you can later dominate them.

Come on.

This is NOT what being stoic or alpha is all about.

These men are just hard-asses with distorted perceptions of women.

Dude. Relax.

Girls are NOT Greek Goddesses.

Girls are NOT objects.

Girls are people, too.

So stop acting like they are anything above or below you!

Girls want to have fun. They also want to be real — to have meaningful conversations and genuine connections. Of course, not all apply.

But all girls have their own insecurities, flaws, and fears.

Don’t take girls so seriously!

• Don’t objectify them
• Don’t put them on a pedestal
• Don’t be afraid of them

They are not above or below you.

They are equal to you.

Simple Dating Tip

From my limited experience, I will tell you one thing: Girls LOVE to feel.

Connecting with their emotions — making them FEEL SOMETHING — is the road to their hearts. If you can make her feel positive, pleasant emotions, she will become more drawn to you.

But most guys I see (including myself sometimes) are flat-out boring!

They get so analytical with talking to girls. They talk for information, not for emotion. They talk like girls are Google search bars.

Like:

“oH! HoW waS yOUR ChEmiStry ExaM? I sEe. HoW lOnG DiD yoU sTUdy?”

Instead of something like:

“How was the chem exam? Damn, my bad Ms. Woman in STEM.”

It’s the subtle, feel-good emotional exchanges that girls crave.

So be playful! Don’t be afraid to flirt, joke, or tease them. Make them laugh!

Your Takeaway Message

Dude, stop acting like girls are anything above or below you.

Girls are people, too.

Relax.

Friends, that’s all for this week.

If you’d like to read more of my writing, join my newsletter readers here. We’d love to see you there.

Until then, have a blessed day!

—Chris Son