Ducks, Chickens and Walruses
Madly flapping around in a sex-crazed aerial frenzy.
I abducted that description (the subhead) from Adelia Ritchie’s article about Tico land, where she is going native. Probably wears a hard hat because of the falling coconut hazard. I’ve heard that they kill more people than snakes, which is simple logic because it’s easier to hit a person than a snake with a coconut. Where was I?
Madly flapping around in a sex-crazed aerial frenzy
There was a context, probably to do with birds, madly flapping around, which would lend a light mood, or for a heavy mood, walruses madly flapping around, which would be disgusting if not for the aerial part, which is abstract thought in a nutshell.
To break this down, the reason it would be more esthetic to make it birds, is that they know how to flock together in an aerial ballet, whereas with animals that are on the fence about being a fish, it’s more the sex-crazed thing. I don’t know if you’ve ever slept among walruses on the beach, when they are in season, but it is an intense outdoor adventure package, and there are showers for in the morning.
There you have your sex and walruses.
At first it seems like a no brainer, I’ll have the sex, please, but the obvious road might be taking you to the obvious, where you are to begin with, so it’s hardly worth calling it a road. You end up in hell with a piece of chalk and endless miles of blackboards, writing, “I know what goes where,” for eternity. Maybe don’t take the obvious road.
What if I take the walruses?
Most people have a surface knowledge of walruses because they’ve seen them on a beach or on a pier. At first there’s just one or two of them, and then more and more show up. It’s the same old story whether it’s a motorcycle gang taking over a small town or walruses taking over a public pier. Things get unpredictable if you don’t know the body language a person must have to infiltrate a walrus huddle. It’s unnerving when the bulls are on edge, waiting to see which female you’re risking it all for.
You shuffle a little and clap your hands over the heart chakra as you enter the huddle, not like an idiot, there’s a fine line there, but imagine a Chinese host, maybe 75, real old school, welcoming you into the restaurant and showing you both hands, palms up, so you know he’s not holding a knife. The movement is from both hands folded over the heart chakra, to the outward gesture, the body language says:
“Universal love to your family. I’m not holding a knife.”
Once you are accepted into the huddle, you have to learn how to chest bump, and you have to really get your hips into it, explode off the ground in what we call the Maori Move. You have to come up hard or you’ll be on your ass. The truth is you’ll be on your ass anyway. It’s a fucking walrus.
Madly flapping around in a sex-crazed aerial frenzy
Why did this attract my attention so much that I took it out of context, away from its home and family, to have my way with it in the caves of my mind? Do walruses get sex crazed? Or are they more tantric. They look more tantric to me when I see them on the pier. “Don’t move. Just feel the flow of eros. Well, move a little.” Once somebody starts flapping around it ruins it for everybody else, but there’s always one.
I have to let it go because the walruses never fit the metaphorical construct without projections of some flight mechanism, the most likely the absence of gravity, so they can float around like everything else in space. The more obvious metaphor is ducks. Odd fact:
They don’t fly in formation when nobody’s watching.
The ducks change everything. They can flap in the water and fly in the air, and even go under the water. I’ve never seen them in an aerial frenzy, sex crazed or otherwise, but as I pointed out, what they do when nobody’s watching can only be imagined. Chickens flock but their flying skills aren’t that good. So, unobserved ducks is as good as it gets.