Drunk Republican Hunts Down Fetus

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een tampered with. “Oh yeah, who knows what got into it over the years. That bottle has been on the shelf since the 60s. I only get it down to show it off for the oil tycoons and uppity business development managers. Now and then I’ll show it to starving comedians, too.”Since Garbiras is all three of those things, he got a personal view of the bottle. Sources tell us that when the bartender diverted his view to break up a fight between two white guitar players, Garbiras helped himself to the priceless adult beverage.It was after he sampled the drink that Garbiras started acting maniacally, stumbling around the bar, bumping into patrons and pulling his hoodie strings back and forth, rambling some Colombian gibberish about unicorns and steak sauce.He then took to the streets without paying his bill, yanking his hoodie strings out, threatening to find the so-called “evil fetus” and end her reign of terror.We knew things had taken a dark turn when crazy Carlos ripped off his shirt and ran behind Applebee’s. The police found him shortly thereafter mumbling about “hot Mormon ass” and the US abortion debate. Other witnesses heard him rambling about the evil fetus vendetta <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-winner-of-a

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merican-idol-is-another-white-boy-with-a-guitar-1633d2413ad0">against white boys with guitars</a>.Garbiras’ political beliefs are still rather vague, but he is believed to be recovering at home with his Mormon wife and young children.Now straighten your god damn hoodie strings, Garbiras. We love you.This months words are:<ul><li>Rotting</li><li>Drunk</li><li>Republican</li><li>Mormon</li><li>Crashes</li><li>Hot</li><li>Maniacal</li><li>Hunts Down</li><li>Owner</li><li>Fetus</li><li>Ass</li><li>Gives Up</li></ul>Do whatever you want with them, you ingrates. Just tag me in the responses so I can read your horrific work.<figure id="a938"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*pwU1gznUbbVcCHer0QFtHw.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by author</figcaption></figure><a href="undefined">Bernice Puzon</a>, thanks for indulging me with this nightmare. <a href="undefined">Kristen Stark</a>, where are you? <a href="undefined">Gerald Sturgill</a>? <a href="undefined">Mike Butler</a>? <a href="undefined">Sally Prag</a>? It is time. Join the chaos. Tell your friends. Be part of the problem.</article></body>

June 2022 Doctor Funny 12-Word Challenge

Maniacal Fetus Hunts Down Drunk Republican. Photo by Arno Senoner on Unsplash

Scottsdale, AZ — In a strange twist, California resident and closet Republican Carlos Garbiras went on a mission recently to hunt down an evil fetus.

After leaving a local craft whiskey establishment having skipped out on the check after downing four shots of $125,000 Macallan, Garbiras reportedly began ranting about an evil fetus on a rampage that would destroy humanity if not captured immediately.

The 81-year-old bottle of scotch may have been tainted, witnesses say, as it was unsealed on the bar when Garbiras began sneakily pouring it into his mostly-empty rocks glass of Evan Williams.

We asked the bartender if he could shed any light on the situation, and if the bottle could have been tampered with. “Oh yeah, who knows what got into it over the years. That bottle has been on the shelf since the 60s. I only get it down to show it off for the oil tycoons and uppity business development managers. Now and then I’ll show it to starving comedians, too.”

Since Garbiras is all three of those things, he got a personal view of the bottle. Sources tell us that when the bartender diverted his view to break up a fight between two white guitar players, Garbiras helped himself to the priceless adult beverage.

It was after he sampled the drink that Garbiras started acting maniacally, stumbling around the bar, bumping into patrons and pulling his hoodie strings back and forth, rambling some Colombian gibberish about unicorns and steak sauce.

He then took to the streets without paying his bill, yanking his hoodie strings out, threatening to find the so-called “evil fetus” and end her reign of terror.

We knew things had taken a dark turn when crazy Carlos ripped off his shirt and ran behind Applebee’s. The police found him shortly thereafter mumbling about “hot Mormon ass” and the US abortion debate. Other witnesses heard him rambling about the evil fetus vendetta against white boys with guitars.

Garbiras’ political beliefs are still rather vague, but he is believed to be recovering at home with his Mormon wife and young children.

Now straighten your god damn hoodie strings, Garbiras. We love you.

This months words are:

Rotting

Drunk

Republican

Mormon

Crashes

Hot

Maniacal

Hunts Down

Owner

Fetus

Ass

Gives Up

Do whatever you want with them, you ingrates. Just tag me in the responses so I can read your horrific work.

Photo by author

Bernice Puzon, thanks for indulging me with this nightmare. Kristen Stark, where are you? Gerald Sturgill? Mike Butler? Sally Prag? It is time. Join the chaos. Tell your friends. Be part of the problem.