Drowning in Worry, Not Enough Time

Take a sanity day!

She called me last Monday night in a state of panic. She has a 7-page paper due in two weeks and an important presentation next week. She is terrified she won’t be able to get it all done.

Stress builds

She also is worried about her work. She just recently started her first full-time job in September. She is an attendant in an on-site snack bar at a private business. In the late fall of 2019, she started working for the company as a temporary as-needed worker, substituting for employees needing to be out a day or two. In the fall of 2020, she was a long-term substitute for an employee out due to family health reasons. In the spring, she returned to temporary as-needed status. The temporary as-needed status and long-term substitute status complemented her needs as a graduate student. As a daily sub, she usually worked two to three days a week, and as a long-term sub, she often had blocks of one to two hours in the day she could devote to school work. In the fall of 2021, days working as daily sub all but dried up. With regret, she notified her supervisor she would need to seek other employment.

The temporary position gave her a foot in the door. When they offered her a full-time job, they were inviting her inside.

I wouldn’t say the company created a position for her. It is more like they re-evaluated a job description of an already posted position they had been unable to fill. At the end of September, she was hired full-time as the primary snack bar attendant. At the time she joined full-time, I told her this was a good thing. The temporary position gave her a foot in the door. When they offered her a full-time job, they were inviting her inside. My contacts at the company told me she had shown herself to be a flexible enthusiastic worker and all her supervisors were pleased to have her in the company family.

As you might have guessed, my friend is a young adult; a college graduate just starting her adult life. She has much more experience as a student than a mid-twenties self-supporting adult. She is trying to balance an adult life, a student taking two graduate courses, a spiritual life, and personal life.

She wants to maintain her excellent reputation with the company, but it feels like the tail is wagging the dog. I’ve always told her school is her job until she can get a better one. Her new position is bringing in more income and has regular hours, but by the time she gets off work, she is too tired and brain dead to produce the quality work needed for her graduate classes.

“He that fights and runs away, May turn and fight another day” — Tacitus

A sanity day is needed

She is feeling overwhelmed. How can she possibly pull it all together? I wish I could give her a magic wand. I can’t.

I suggested she take a sick day on Tuesday. She had gotten herself all worked up into a knot, worrying about how she would handle work that provided no time for study and the requirements of grad school. She had made herself sick with worry and needed to reset her system. She needed a “sanity day.”

Research says

Research studies abound showing a correlation between stress and health issues. So often, we responsible adults try to do so much that we begin to burn ourselves out. I’ve done it; I know I’ve done it, and I know I’ll do it again. I taught in public and private schools for forty years. I worked 8 am to 5 pm with students, then headed home with another several hours’ worth of paperwork to do. Weekends brought no escape. My sense of responsibility consumed me. The stress was coming from within me. It wasn’t the actual hours of working that was the issue; it was how I chose to handle the situation. And she is doing the same thing.

“Let’s get real: there are times in life when you’re going to feel overwhelmed.”

“Let’s get real: there are times in life when you’re going to feel overwhelmed. Whether it be with work, school, social obligations or just life in general, we all feel overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed at some point. It’s important to give yourself grace when you have these feelings.” (Mental Health First Aid USA on March 17, 2021)

The National Council for MentalHealth Wellbeing recommends taking a deep breath and stepping away. This time out may be a brief period of a few minutes, a few hours, or a day. It allows you to clear your mind and recharge your focus reserves.

Other references

SPEAKING OF HEALTH MONDAY, MAY 15, 2017 Overwhelmed by anxiety? Linda Hubbard, L.M.F.T.

Stress vs. Anxiety: How to Tell the Difference Article by Katie Hurley, LCSW (undated)

© 2021 Randle Moore All Rights Reserved

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