Drop the Leash

Your dog is the best teacher.

Dogs have always inspired me. They live in a different universe, because they’re always joyous (except when they are hungry), ready to play (except when they’re sleeping, legs twitching while they chase a rabbit in their dreams).

They live in the moment, 100% committed to being present.

My dog will lean against me when I am standing next to the window. She senses my mood and she offers comfort, companionship, and connection.

One day, I decided to dive deeper into why dogs are so in tune with humans. Since I write inspirational fiction, I created a character named Avatar, who is a Golden Retriever with the ability to talk (hey — it’s fiction, remember?).

As I was writing the story, I realized the biggest difference between how dogs perceive their world vs. humans.

Dogs are always in the moment. Whatever is happening right now is what they respond to. Very few humans are present in the same way. Instead, we create stories about events and people in our life, and we see the next moment through our story lens.

The difference in perception is why dogs always bring us back to the present moment. They never left it!

A short story that illustrates the difference

This story is taken from my book, “Drop the Leash: Let Go of the Past and Live in the Present.” The story is told from Avatar’s viewpoint, so remember that it’s a dog describing the events.

During one of my lifetimes, I was a seeing eye dog. My girl was called Audrey and we were together for many adventures.

One day, we were standing in the check-out line at the grocery story. Audrey was used to walking the three blocks to the corner market with me and it had become a daily event. Everyone in the store knew us and so did a lot of the customers.

While we were standing in line, the woman who was about to pay became very agitated and angry. Her voice rose to a higher pitch and her words came out in machine gun fashion from her mouth. The cashier, a sweet high school girl named Abby, was trying to calm her down, but it wasn’t working.

A whine escaped my throat but Audrey put her hand on my head to reassure me. And that is when we heard it.

The man behind us started grumbling about “People work hard to pay for their food. She’s paying with food stamps and she’s upset?” Several other people in line began agreeing or nodding their heads.

At the front where all the action was taking place, the store owner/ manager walked over. Mike was a quiet guy, very soft spoken, but he ran his store with a high expectation of his employees. Mike looked at Abby and smiled slightly, letting her know that it was OK. Her posture relaxed a bit and she backed away from the customer so Mike could take over.

After Mike checked that the balance in the lady’s account was accurate and told her that she didn’t have enough money to pay for her groceries, there was a two second silence. Everyone within 25 feet was waiting to see how she reacted to this news.

It didn’t take long. She started screaming obscenities at Mike, Abby and everyone who was within earshot. Her anger was so palpable that the grumblers in line began voicing their opinions.

It quickly turned into one of those ugly situations where no one is listening and everyone is upset.

Audrey just stood there, frozen. I nudged her hand to ask permission to go, and she unclipped my leash, tears glistening in her blue eyes, reflecting her heartbreak.

I wove through the crowd until I reached the angry woman who didn’t have enough money to pay for her groceries. I sat down in front of her and whined, waiting for her to acknowledge me. It took a few minutes, and I had to bark sharply, but she finally broke out of her angry tirade against another customer and looked down.

I sat very still, loving her with my eyes. My mouth was closed and I focused on being an open channel for love to pour through me to her. It took several seconds, but I could see the instant that she felt it.

Her entire demeanor changed from anger to shock. The intense emotion that she was drowning in stilled. It wasn’t peace but it was an opening for peace.

The woman tried to speak several times, but the words struggled to come out. The mayhem of discord was still swirling around her, but she and I were inside a bubble.

Love protected us and connected us.

She squatted down in front of me and looked me deeply in the eyes. I held her gaze and felt our connection. After a few seconds, she took my face in her hands and kissed me gently on the forehead. Then she stood up — a different person than before.

“Whose dog is this?” She asked the crowd in general.

At first, no one heard her. She asked again, this time in an authoritative tone that captured everyone’s attention. Mike, the store manager, stopped in mid-sentence and pointed to Audrey, who looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. The leash in her hand declared her as my owner.

The strident voices of people talking and not listening slowly wound down. Silence filled the space where anger had just lived. Act I was over; now it was time for the climax and resolution.

As the woman slowly turned towards Audrey, everyone felt the energy shift. Bodies moved backwards as the woman moved. When she was standing directly in front of Audrey, the older lady gently took Audrey’s hand and asked her to look up.

Audrey slowly raised her head and her eyes looked at the spot where the woman’s voice was located.

“Look at me child,” the older woman demanded. Audrey smiled slightly and shrugged, her eyes focused on a distant horizon only she could see.

The woman was about to demand attention again, when she realized the situation. She took one more look at Audrey, the leash in her hand, then back at me. My harness clearly said, “Seeing Eye Dog — please do not touch.” The woman shook her head and closed her eyes, saying to herself, “Lordy, Lordy.”

I enjoyed this part and I was grinning as only a Golden can, teeth showing and mouth wide open. The tip of my tail was swishing back and forth, sweeping the floor with my joy.

The woman straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath to calm herself. She turned to the small group of people and began talking.

“I have a confession to make,” she began softly. “I came in this store to buy some things for my grandchildren. Only thing is — I didn’t have any money, except for these food stamps. I hate using this to feed my family, but some days, it’s necessary.” She shook her head and said softly, “This was one of those days.”

Everyone was shifting uncomfortably because they knew the embarrassing part was coming up. I decided to do my part and began to lean against several people, nudging their hands. They began to stroke my head or pat me as they listened to her story unfolding.

“When I got up here to the cashier’s stand to pay,” the lady continued, “I wasn’t sure if I had enough money on the account. You ever had that worry mister?” She pointed directly to the man who had been standing behind us, grumbling about people not pulling their weight and taking other people’s money.

To his credit, the man looked sheepishly at the woman, then nodded his head.

The woman continued. “When this young girl told me what I suspected, I just lost it. I knew what ya’ll were thinking. Deadbeat. Poor. Beaten.”

She turned to Abby, the high schooler whose second day on the job had taken a turn that she could never have anticipated. “Sweet child, I am so sorry to take my frustration out on you. Please forgive me.”

Abby could only nod, her blue eyes bright with tears. They hugged awkwardly across the counter.

The woman turned to the rest of the people who were mesmerized by her. “I forgot to introduce myself — my name is Lyda James. Yes, I am poor in money, but not in spirit.” She stopped for a minute to gather her thoughts and leaned over to me and gave me a hug.

“I forgot how rich in spirit I am when I stood here, feeling embarrassed and so small.” Lyda looked around very slowly and acknowledged each person. Then she smiled and said, “I hope you will forgive me. It took this sweet dog to remind me that my circumstances are not what define me.”

Time seemed to stand still and everyone waited for someone to respond. My impatience at the stubbornness of humans finally got the best of me. I did the only thing I could to move this situation forward so everyone could see it for what it really was — a great lesson.

I started twirling around as if chasing my tail, barking and looking like a crazy lunatic. My antics provided a humorous interlude and everyone started laughing, sharing in my joy. It broke the tension and people came up to Lyda and hugged her, telling her that it was going to be O.K.

The last person to approach her was the grumbly guy who had made such a fuss. He was a large man, hands rough from hard work, nails unclean. His demeanor was completely different from the indignant man who judged Lyda so harshly. Instead, he was humble and respectful.

“Ms. Lyda,” he began softly. “I should ask for your forgiveness. I was rude, judgmental and completely out of line.”

She stood there looking at him — and smiled. “Well, I guess we both have a lot to learn, don’t we?”

He laughed and they hugged. I barked my approval and returned to Audrey, grinning as she clipped the leash back into my harness. I stretched and sighed…just another day at the office.

The takeaways

Why did I share this story with you? Because it offers several valuable lessons:

• Everyone has a back story. Release the need to judge because you will never know their entire back story.
• Judgment separates you and the other person. Love always connects.
• People all have the same needs — food, shelter and connection.
• Don’t deny someone their need because you don’t understand their back story.
• Learn to recognize judgment and make a choice for love instead.

Just as Avatar helped the people in the store see the situation from Love’s perspective, notice when your dog helps you. Once you begin to notice, it will amaze you how much it happens.

When you notice you are triggered, step back and take a breath. Drop the leash of your judgments and stories and see the situation clearly.

Then give your dog a hug. They are your best teacher on how to live and love in the present.

Shoutouts

Dogs can do so much more than we may believe. Read how Coby helps her human in small ways that speak volumes.

Self-love is the key to happiness. This story contains several memes that are quotable.

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