PERSONAL GROWTH STRATEGIES & STORIES

Driving in France Ruined Me

Welcome back to a road full of 3-wheelers, bikes, cars, buses, rickshaws, and pedestrians

That bike just scratched my car.

I was sitting in Dhaka traffic in my car. On my left, more drivers were waiting impatiently in traffic jams. Some of them were honking their cars’ horns.

There was almost no space on my right. Maybe 3 feet at best. But I could see a motorbike trying to get through that narrow gap. He seemed to be angry at me — “why didn’t I leave more than 3 feet!”. He maneuvered through and shot me an angry look before passing my car. And just before he passed my car, he left a mark on my car with his bike.

Before I could get out, I saw a line of bikes trying to get through that 3- feet corridor. The bike also sped out of reach. I decided not to get out thinking there was no point. Maybe I would be able to remove that scratch.

I was stuck in Dhaka traffic after a couple of years.

Driving in Dhaka requires an extreme level of concentration. Cars, bikes, three-wheelers, rickshaws, and jaywalkers can come from any direction (except the top hopefully). So, any driver would need to keep looking at all 3 available mirrors and the front of the car.

I was so used to doing that. I would be able to drive comfortably on the busy roads.

Then what changed?

I did.

Driving in France ruined me.

I lived in Fontainebleau for a while. During that time, I would often take my car out to drive through the forest or go to the Carrefour branch — 20 kilometers away. Roads would be relatively empty. Some deers and wild boars would occasionally wander into the road from the Fontainebleau forest. Other than that, I would often be the only living soul on long stretches of road.

Even if they were not, I could keep within my lanes and drive without looking around too much. I remember impulsively driving for 40 minutes to get dinner from a nearby town. It wasn’t a hassle as driving seemed like smooth sailing.

That comfort took the Dhaka driver out of me.

After coming back to Dhaka, the Fontainebleau driver picked up the car keys confidently. And those busy roads made him realize that this is a different ball game altogether.

Can the Fontainebleau Driver Bring Back the Dhaka Driver?

Driving in Dhaka requires an alert mindset, good hand-eye coordination, and a lot of patience. I needed to re-enter that mindset fast. Maybe I needed to let go of what I did in France.

But I loved driving in Fontainebleau. The more relaxed approach allowed me to enjoy the road, the journey, the environment, the cool breeze, the beautiful scenery, and the driving in general. Driving became a hobby and helped me de-stress. I could pick up my car keys anytime to explore more, drive through the beautiful countryside and find exotic food.

Do I have to forget all of that? I wouldn’t want to do that

When my environment changed the first time, I changed too. I loved the new changes.

Maybe this time I needed to combine what I learned from two contrasting experiences and make that part of who I am.

• I could be alert and have the patience to drive in Dhaka. At the same time, I could be more observant of what’s happening around me. I could soak in the beautiful colors and the sound of Dhaka as I did in France.
• I could see the angry and waiting drivers. And I could also see the street vendors who were using the traffic jam to sell flowers, books, stationaries, and whatnot. Life was blossoming around me. People were making the best of the situation.
• I could sweat in the humid weather. I could also observe and learn from the patient traffic police who was managing the road for long hours. I needed to be grateful as I was in a better situation than most on that road.
• I could focus on the smiling faces in buses who were talking with co-passengers. I could absorb the pace of Dhaka by seeing how fast people were walking.

Life was happening around me. The old me would focus on my destination. The post-Fontainebleau me knew that the journey is more important than the destination.

All of us on that Dhaka road that day were going somewhere. Our lives were moving in different directions. Destiny brought us together for micro-moments. Not all micro-moments were enjoyable. But all of them made me feel part of the bustling and growing Dhaka city.

Reentry felt daunting. I came with the Fontainebleau mindset and the experience was not matching. Being able to adapt quickly helped me enjoy the reentry more.

Reentry can also be daunting if we feel we have become who we were before. It is not about forgetting our growth. If we combine what we learned in between and approach the reentry through updated lenses, reentry will feel like a natural progression of life.

Life is beautiful and it's changing every second. No two moments will be the same. And that is the beauty of it.

Our ability to adapt decides if we will be able to enjoy the beauty or be stuck in frustration.

Happy Life-ing.