CONTEST NEWS

Dreamtown Wins Biggest User

Small town wins big and celebrates to the hilt

When Mayor Bogos got the call that Dreamtown won, she was texting her husband about milk.

We need milk, honeybunny ❤ ❤ ❤

The call was from the Commission on Totally Integrated Media Experience (TIME). Dreamtown had won America’s Biggest User Contest. The town had logged more cell phone usage per capita than any other town in the country over the past year. Mayor Bogos was ecstatic. This was huge. They’d all worked so hard.

“This town deserves a big celebration!” she said to herself as she texted the same to her colleagues.

With that, preparations began, local businesses pitched in, vendors were secured, and the big day finally arrived. There’d be a parade down Main Street, a carnival in the town square, a music concert in the evening, and fireworks to top it all off. Folks could hardly post their excitement frequently enough on FB, IG, WhatsApp, TikTok, and Twitter. What a thrill it all was!

The big day

At 7 am on Celebration Day, Dream Lake at the edge of downtown was open for Breakfast Boat Rides. Folks could order their morning meal and take it with them on a paddle boat, canoe, or kayak, launching into a sweet lake experience to begin the festive day. A steady trickle of early morning risers took advantage, and soon the lake was a scene of drifting picnics.

The boaters took it all in through their phones while floating motionless not ten feet from the dock, as it ended up. They eagerly took pics, videotaped, texted jokes to their friends in neighboring boats, worked on NYT puzzles while munching egg sandwiches, and checked on the day’s news thus far. It was an idyllic way to start the town’s merriment.

Since Celebration Day honored their commitment to such media engagement, there was no better time for the townsfolk to live up to their new prestige. Happily, they didn’t know any other way.

A parade is a nice backup

As the sun started to peek above the tree line, the parade began. Main Street was packed, people lined up with a palpable buzz. Everybody knew this parade was about them. Folks had their phones up at the ready. Photos, videos, tweets, texts, even emails. Little bytes of information flooded the infosphere like a summer blizzard of small-screen pride.

The high school band led the procession, playing upbeat tunes, as this was a very upbeat occasion. The music was loud and snazzy, though the ears in the crowd were more tuned to the sound coming from the speakers in hand.

Endlessly entertaining music videos sprouted from hundreds upon hundreds of phones up and down the street, which was a symphony of sorts, a theme song for the award-winning town. If your phone had run out of battery though, the band’s offering was still nice.

The parade wound its way through downtown. One sponsor pulled a giant helium cell phone balloon through the street; another threw adorable stuffed mobile phone dolls into the crowd.

By mid-procession, parade candy was being flung every which way, though most of the kids it was intended for were already focused on their video games. Because let’s be honest: a parade is for those with nothing much to look at on their phones. On the other hand, it’s a wonderfully popular thing to livestream.

As fantastic as the parade was, by late morning the carnival had opened, and families were walking about enjoying the activities with great delight. Parents hoisted their young ones onto Carousel horses, some parents riding with or alongside, and others watching from the ground nearby. Either way, families shared the joy of the moment with their faraway relatives and friends via some seriously hilarious FB posts and sweet Instagram images.

When long is surprisingly short

The big day was projected out to the world, and this was what the Commission on TIME had hoped for. An entire town was grassroots broadcast in real time to inspire others. The value of this couldn’t really be calculated, as inspiration is a long game. Although interestingly it wasn’t taking so long. Humans, it turns out, are quite agreeable to the joys of media focus, another of our evolutionary blessings.

As the day wore on, parents and kids boarded the bumper cars for some goofy fun. Driving around the big floor was the initial thrill, but then someone discovered you could hook into a bumper car game app. Soon the cars were collected into a clump in the corner of the course while folks feverishly battled it out against each other on their phones.

Cackles were wafting, smiles from bent-over heads were cracking wide. It was so much fun that nobody had the time to notice how quickly their bumper car minutes were ticking down, and besides, who even cared? The phone game was delightfully better than they’d expected!

What better way?

When Mayor Bogos arrived, the party was well underway. It heartened her to see everybody so in sync with each other — in a groove — through their phones. The whole town was connected, and this was a dream come true. What better, easier, faster way to connect folks than through such a ubiquitous device? There wasn’t.

The mayor and councilmembers strolled the festival, stopping in for a cotton candy or a snow cone, taking photos with constituents, texting staff. One member noted that this was the liveliest he’d seen the town in a long while. This gave him the idea to tweet the observation out so others might concur, and they sure did. He stood next to the funnel cake vendor and focused on moderating this while his colleagues left to attend to Pokémon Go.

Dawgs and gems

The group eventually made their way to the hotdog eating contest. Word had it that Jeremy Jenkins was going to walk away with the title, as he was now an internet sensation of hotdog eating proportions. The plates were piled high with frankfurters, and the starting buzzer sounded. Five eaters dug in.

The audience was hooting and cheering, in between videotaping and posting on YouTube. Eventually, the audience worked on managing their footage, glancing every now and again at the contestants’ progress.

The contestants gulped away and simultaneously videotaped themselves, too. A selfie video is the superior promotion for a competitive eater. It’s the unique up-close perspective that is such a gem for fans.

If you hadn’t attended an eating contest in a long time, you’d have been a bit disappointed by the negligent pace, but it wasn’t as if there was no eating going on at all. It was just more discontinuous than you’d have remembered: some eating, some videotaping. This is simply how the world is — never the same.

As the afternoon shifted to evening, townsfolk gathered over at the concert pavilion to watch the big show. Mayor Bogos gave a little speech before the concert began. She thanked the town for its efforts the past year.

“Nobody deserves this more than you!” she said to hearty applause. “You never gave up or let up. You took selfies while giving birth. You posted on Insta from funerals. You texted while reading to your kids and feeding your grandparents. You even texted “I do” to each other at your weddings. Dreamtown, this day is for YOU!”

The crowd erupted in a giant cheer, which most everyone was recording for posterity.

The concert gave way to the final piece of the daylong party. A feeling of completeness was conveyed on Facebook numerous times as the beautiful fireworks lit the sky above. Moods were high with self-satisfaction. Folks knew they’d earned this.

As the night wound down, Dreamtown made one last tribute to their collective trophy. With weary yawns and full hearts, the people slowly moved out of the town center and toward home while playing the day on rewind from their handhelds.

The final tweet from the town was put out at 11:59:59 by Mayor Bogos’ husband.

I forgot the milk, lovebug :-0

Thanks to Betsy Denson for editing this story.