POLITICS
Drag Queen Story Hour Reinstated in NC Pride!
The outcry from LGBTQIA+ communities and our supporters had a real impact
Thanks to the outcry from LGBTQIA+ communities and our supporters, the Drag Queen Story Hour is back on the schedule in a small town Pride Event in North Carolina!
This is what Pride feels like
Today, I’m so proud of our communities and of the allies who stood up for all of us, instead of backing down in the face of the violent threats issued by bigoted extremists who were egged on by the hateful “Groomer” rhetoric so many Conservatives are spewing in the United States right now.
Mayor Jacques Gilbert of Apex, North Carolina didn’t seem to like me using the word “bigot” to describe the people who made those threats, along with leadership who were complicit due to their refusal to openly stand up to this hate. In his strange letter to me, he cited receiving “hate speech” from the LGBTQIA+ community, but had nothing to say about the hateful behaviors of those who demanded the cancellation of this family friendly event. You can read our strange email exchange here. After I requested clarification, he invited me to call him, but his voice mailbox was full. As of publication of this article, he hasn’t responded to my follow-up email requesting a good time to call. He did post this statement publicly on Facebook:
“Upon receiving several inquiries regarding this matter my statement is as follows:
As mentioned in my previous statement on Saturday, June 4, I listened to a variety of feedback from the community regarding the events at Apex Pride festival and presented it to the Apex Pride committee and Apex Festival Commission accordingly.
All decisions that have been made since that point have been made by the individuals involved with the festival, including the recent change of the hosting non-profit to Equality NC and the activities the organization will include at the event.
I have not been part of any of the decision-making regarding the festival and the events/activities included at the Apex Pride Festival. Councilwoman Audra Killingsworth, who is on the Apex Pride Committee, has been leading all of the efforts regarding the event. I suggest you speak to Councilwoman Audra Killingsworth regarding the decisions.
As mayor I will continue to look out for the well-being, respect and representation of the entirety of our community
Mayor Jacques Gilbert
Jacques Gilbert, Mayor of Apex, NC limited who can comment on this post.”
Around the same time, I received a response back from the Apex Festival Commission. I had written to them to express my disappointment, as well. They explained:
I want to provide an update to a conversation this morning regarding the Pride event. There was a meeting this morning regarding Pride fest logistics. As a result of the meeting, the Apex Festival Commission has withdrawn their application for the event. The town of Apex received an application from Equality NC this morning to serve as the sponsor. Apex town staff is working with both organizations to ensure a transition that is as smooth as possible in order for us to have a safe and successful event.
A friend helped me to decipher this information by sending me Equality NC’s public Facebook statement:
“Equality NC is proud to announce that our organization will sponsor The Apex Pride Festival this weekend June 11, 2022 from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.. Equality NC is also celebrating that this will restore Drag Story Hour to the program, and ensure that our community members in Apex have every right to gather and celebrate. Equality NC is proud to stand with the organizers of Apex Pride, a group of resilient and amazing LGBTQ+ individuals and families, and are excited to invite others to attend the day of celebration.
Kendra R. Johnson (she/her) Equality NC Executive Director said:
‘Pride is first and foremost about our community. It has always been about our collective voices, our stories, our resilience and our hopes. What we saw in Apex was an attempt to invade our spaces, to silence us, to disperse us, and limit our freedom to be ourselves in our community. We were extremely disappointed in the actions of the Apex Festival Commission that allowed provocative and misinformed complaints to target and attempt to cancel this Pride event. We are proud to join in support of the Apex Pride organizers and see this event take place. We will not be silent and we will not be forced back into a closet. We look forward to celebrating with our community this weekend, and to honor the long history of Pride as Protest, making space for us, about us, even when they try to silence us. We’re proud to say, we’re here, we’re queer, and we will see you Saturday!’
This announcement truly warmed my heart to read! Drag Queen Story Hour was back on the official Pride schedule!
Drag Queen Story Hour was back on the official Pride schedule!
Why does this mean so much to me?
As a queer trans man married to a queer trans woman, I’ve received the message over and over that we’re inherently inappropriate to have around children. First, after my wife came out as trans and I revealed that we were in a queer polyamorous marriage, I heard it from one of my own biological family members directly.
“You shouldn’t have children.”
Then, my wife and I were no longer invited to anything public involving children in my family, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when another family member finally had the talk with me. I was assured that it wasn’t about queerness or transness. There were other excuses that got more and more ridiculous, as the conversation drew on. My wife wasn’t allowed around the children anymore. I said that if they weren’t allowed around them, I wouldn’t be able to see them either. We communicated our love from afar through gifts.
Months after I quietly came out to the parents of those children as a trans man, informing them through signatures on holiday or birthday cards for the children, the line in the silence between us and the children suddenly thickened. Now we’re no longer allowed to send gifts. They were just quietly returned in the mail without discussion. I’m no longer allowed to see their pictures on a social media account I had created exclusively to watch them grow up.
Recently, for a moment, I somehow forgot that I was a trans man, as I walked outside of our house. A new neighbor was walking her three kids to the bus stop. She was about 50 feet away, maybe a little less. Without thinking, I waved, trying to be friendly. She glared at me and drew her three kids behind her to protect them from me.
She glared at me and drew her three kids behind her to protect them from me.
The worst part is that this didn’t surprise me at all. I shrugged, nodded, and thought, “Ohh, that’s right! It’s obviously that I’m a trans man or super queer or whatever she thought I was.” Cis-het men, especially next door neighbors, are usually allowed to casually wave at families from afar. I’ve seen lots of them do it without quite this response. I mostly try to avoid waving or making eye contact with strangers’ kids because I don’t want to deal with causing parental terror. It makes me feel cold and unfriendly, but it’s probably for the best.
When people stand up for drag queens reading to children, they’re sending the message that it’s okay for someone like me who doesn’t fit in any of the cis heteronormative boxes to be around children, too. They’re sending the message that queer and trans people aren’t inherently predators to be feared. We’re just humans with lives. Some of us have kids, and we deserve to be able to make those families just like anyone else. Lots of us have children in our extended families, who we deserve to get to see or send gifts to without hiding who we are. Some of us just want to be able to go grocery shopping without frightening any bigoted parents. Oops! I guess I’m not supposed to use the word “bigot”, am I? There’s a mayor who might be offended by that.
Pride is about believing that we should have the freedom to live our lives on our terms. Pride is about standing up for each other. Pride is accepting support from others outside of our community because we know we deserve it. Pride is accepting nothing less. Pride is demanding that we be seen as human. Pride is holding all politicians and our societies at large accountable for treating us equitably. Pride is lifting up the voices among us that are silenced. Pride is telling other people like us that we don’t have to be afraid and we don’t have to be erased. Pride is showing up for each other, even the ones who can’t be here.
Right now, I am especially proud of my people and all of those who do the work to see and support us!
Has this writing made you decide Medium is worth $5/month to binge-read because it’s cheaper than Netflix? If so, click on the link below to join Medium in my name at no additional cost to you:
