💯 STORY CHALLENGE | #2 of 💯
Dracula and the Professor Visit Europa
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“State your name please.” “Tepes. Vladimir Tepes.” “Did you come to Europa for business or pleasure Mr Tepes?” “Pleasure.”
The spaceport officer scanned the pale human from head to toe. She sensed this man was dangerous, but without evidence she could not deny him entrance; his holo-scan was clean. “Enjoy your stay in Jupiter City Mr Tepes. Next!”
Half an hour later an old man dashed out of the next spaceship; he questioned the officer Tepes interacted with earlier.
“Did this man just arrive?” he projected a holo-image of Vladimir Tepes. “Yes he did. Why?” the officer asked. She worried she would get in trouble for letting that tall guy pass.
“That will be all, thank you officer!” the old man ran off again, toward the city center.
‘Ι worry that wherever those two go trouble follows,’ the officer thought.
By the time Professor Van Helsing came to Europa Vlad Tepes was already at Jupiter City downtown, looking for his next victim. His preference was pale virgins looking like Mina, though he could feed on all women with enough life force.
Tepes knew Van Helsing was right behind him, which made the trip to Europa all the more fun. This was his first time coming to the Jovian moon. Then, while lost in thought, he saw her:
A redhead with radiant hair like sparkling copper, skin like whipped cream mixed with strawberries, an angelic face, and green eyes full of bitter-sweet grief, just like Mina’s. Her vitals were off the charts! It would be a sacrilege to drain any of her life force but a boy must eat.
Vlad Tepes wondered whether he should seduce her or drain her on the spot. She was a fancy restaurant meal, not a fast food one, but the Professor was closing in.
In the meantime the redhead met her date; it was a man who looked like that scoundrel Jonathan Harker! The man who stole Mina from him! The cold blood of Vlad Tepes started to boil from anger.
He ditched his plan to drain the redhead and started to think how to make the life of that guy a living hell.
However the Professor located him. “Dracula! Scourge of the solar system! At last I found you! Prepare to go to hell!” it sounded like the Professor had rehearsed that.
“Give me a break Professor; scourge, hell and all that… Don’t be a broken record please. I am suffering here; I was about to reunite with Mina and that crook Jonathan showed out of nowhere!” Tepes looked sad.
“Mina and Jonathan have long been dead Tepes. Get over your fixation with them already!” “How about your fixation with me? Why don’t you get over it? For Mina’s sake, you act like we were about to get married and I jilted you at the altar!”
“Don’t… don’t change the subject Dracula! Prepare to…” the Professor noticed the redhead came closer. However she was alone, her date was nowhere to be seen. Her eyes had an eerie red glow; some blood was briefly seen running from the side of her mouth before she licked it.
‘No way…’ the Professor thought ‘… no way in he…’ the redhead suddenly attacked Tepes. Her mouth opened unnaturally wide, a huge monstrous chasm with hundreds of teeth. Tepes was terrified and used his super speed to escape toward the side of the Professor.
“Who… what is she Professor? Of all people you must know right?” “I do Dracula. I hoped they were a myth. You know the saying ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’ right? We need to apply it against this foe. Otherwise we die.” “Fine, what do we need to do?” the redhead got closer and a huge grimy tongue emerged from her mouth, which she wielded like a whip.
“She is an extra-solarian. They eat both humans and vampires but prefer vampires, i.e. you are her main meal. It would be tempting to let her eat you and be done with you, but then she would become too powerful to…”
“How do we kill her Professor?” “The only way, per some classified reports I located, is to decapitate her.” A long silver sword materialized out of the Professor’s hammerspace.
“As I distract her take her head off with your sword.” The Professor nodded. Vlad Tepes drew her attention; she tried to capture and devour him. Tepes evaded her a few times but eventually her super fast tongue captured him.
“Now Professor!” As the Professor went for the redhead’s head he realized he had a clear shot for Dracula’s head. He considered taking it, momentarily, but chose the bigger monster; he’d hate to kill Dracula so dishonorably anyway.
When the redhead saw the old man coming for her head it was too late. Seconds later her head landed on the ground.
Later that night an old man and a vampire shared a bottle of 25-year old Scots Whisky in the Promiscuous Zeus bar.
“Are we friends just for today Professor or shall we take the whole week to have some fun?” “Let’s take a rain check and… I’ll let you know tomorrow. I… feel so… tir…” the Professor’s head bumped on the bar counter.
‘So, beside babysitting him and getting him to his fracking bed I have to pay the bill. Again. Best arch-nemesis ever!’ Vlad Tepes thought; moments later a loud cordial laugh was heard inside the bar.
Motivated by this prompt and the 💯 story challenge of Zane Dickens I wrote this story after reading this dracula story by Jann Christoph von der Pütten and this one by Paul Mansfield
A similar -but set in Earth- story by Nikolaos Skordilis:
