Don’t Worry if You Haven’t Figured it Out — It’s a Fleeting Feeling Anyway.
Sometimes we have the answers, sometimes we don’t.
What it means to figure it out
Figuring it out is the universal term applied to become a better human. When someone finds themselves in a state where they feel they have it ‘figured out’ they experience elation, optimism, and confidence.
When I say I think I’ve finally ‘figured out _____’, I am describing to others that I have answers. These are answers to questions that others may have about life.
You may have figured out some pivotal answer before and felt the need to share with others. Raise your hand if you’ve ever written a how-to article. If you’ve ever had the motivation to describe a solution to others then you know the feeling of having answers.
Essentially, figuring it out means you the individual have discovered something about being a human that is worth sharing.
Figuring it out is an insight. It is a feeling that we have acquired enough knowledge around a topic that we can help others with. When we have answers we desire to tell the world what we know. Figuring it out means having the answers.
I wrote an article when I figured out Motivation
I should say I thought I had figured out motivation. Better yet, I temporarily had figured out ‘How to motivate yourself to work hard’.
You see I was coming off a high of a productive and fulfilling week. In this state of flow, I had a realization that I had figured out how to stay motivated. I had the answers. My personal experience amplified the belief that I potent knowledge to share with the world.
The truth is that knowing the answers is fleeting. Last week when I wrote that article, I genuinely felt that my 5 tips could be used at any time to extract instant motivation. I felt that I had the right tools to motivate others to work hard so I shared it. Now a week later I find that mustering motivation using my tips has been a bit of battle.
I’ve been anxious all week and just getting out of bed has been a challenge. Yet, not to long ago I wrote 1200 words telling others exactly how to stay motivated. The irony.
Having all the answers is fleeting
Confidence and clarity come in waves. Sometimes our brains are well-oiled machines that can easily extract insights from our life experiences. There may be moments where we know what we should do and how to do it. When life is going well, these insights are easy.
However, when we are having a rough week it’s harder to find the lessons. Confidence is more forced. Work is harder. We don’t feel locked in. It’s the culmination of feeling a bit off. This is a mood that can persist for a few days or a few weeks. When it lasts, we call it a funk.
After a temporary period of feeling a bit off, we usually can find our legs again. Eventually, we bounce back. We may again experience those desirable flow states in which everything makes sense.
The moods we experience in flow states boost our confidence. Our focus is elevated and we know exactly what we should be doing. Life is easy. We understand how to live it.
These are the cycles. The ups and downs of life.
Any human who has ever found themselves in a productive, confident, flow state knows the joys of a positive mood. This is a desirable feeling because it truly feels like the way to get ahead. But in this way, it’s fleeting. We can’t have the highs without the lows.
The trick is realizing the lows are minor stopping points. They are temporary dips in our path to growth.
Growth is like the stock market
A better perspective on the ups and downs of life is to imagine a stock market graph. More specifically a graph that slopes positively.
When life is good and we feel that we are making progress we may relate to the upward spikes in the graph. While the days where we feel low are more similar to the downward trends in a graph.
When we are in the trenches, it can be hard to see the other side. Have you ever tried to will yourself out of a funk? It is very hard because of the emotions attached to the mood. When we struggle, we have to remember to be kind to ourselves. Take time to rest and recover. Most importantly, remember the long view.
The lows of life can make us feel anxious and stifled. These are the days and weeks that seem to drag on.
We realize that on a positive sloping graph there is always growth over the long term. That is how we have to think about the ups and downs of our life.
Learn to accept what is given.
I’m writing this article today because I’ve had highs. I’ve experienced states of bliss. These are states of mind where you feel locked into your career, relationships, and health habits.
When I find myself hitting on all cylinders, I want to tell the world the answers. The state that is induced is so fulfilling that I want it to last.
As I grow, I learn that these states are temporary. When they happen, I want to hang on to them while appreciating the positive focused insight they provide. I also understand that there may be bad days ahead. I think it is helpful if we learn to accept that.
It is the extreme of expectations that can cause a bad day to feel worse. We know what it feels like to be on top, which is why it can be so devastating to be on the bottom.
Things happen. Plans don’t always work out. Frustration happens. That is a part of life. What has helped me the most is learning to ride the waves. Both up and down.
The reality is we all have ups and downs. Some people present a much more upward view of life. There are some great ‘coaches’ out there who teach others how to think. This is the perfect job for a human.
The ultimate goal of life is to figure it out. To be able to operate at an optimized level. Right? How do we do that?
By showing up and doing the best we can while also remembering
- To be kind to ourselves
- To ride the highs
- To realize the lows are temporary.
