Summary

The author recounts an incident where their peaceful relaxation is interrupted by a neighbor's dog urinating on their patio and shoes.

Abstract

The author was enjoying a rare moment of tranquility on their patio when their neighbor's dog, Diamond, urinated inside their fence, disrupting the peace. Despite an initial attempt at friendly interaction between the author's dog, Bentley, and Diamond, the situation escalated when Diamond urinated on the author's shoes. The author expresses frustration and reflects on the importance of respecting boundaries, drawing a parallel between the incident and the broader context of societal tensions.

Opinions

The author initially feels annoyed by the neighbor's intrusion and the disruption of their peaceful moment.
The author is particularly upset when their own dog, Bentley, mimics Diamond's behavior, leading to more urine on the patio.
The author's frustration peaks when Diamond urinates on their shoes, leading to a strong emotional response.
The author believes in the principle that "good fences make good neighbors," implying that respecting each other's space is crucial for neighborly relations.
The author is critical of the neighbor for allowing their dog to urinate inside someone else's property and questions what other boundary violations might occur when unsupervised.
The incident prompts the author to reflect on the state of society, likening the disrespect of personal boundaries to the current volatile social climate.
The author suggests that just as an electric fence would shock someone who crosses a boundary, there should be clear consequences for disrespecting personal limits.

Don’t Whiz on the Electric Fence

Tonight I was sitting outside on the patio minding my own business. It was time to relax and kick back in a chair. The warmth of the sunshine offers a hug and lulls me to sleep.

My husband and daughter had run to the store to get some milk. Who knew we were out of milk? Certainly not us. We couldn’t exactly leave dinner half-made, well, not if we wanted to eat. My hubby and my oldest daughter went off to get some milk. My youngest was in the bedroom watching Power Rangers on Netflix. I was experiencing the first peaceful moments I had had all day, until the upstairs neighbor decided to walk her dog.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled to see her. Couldn’t we just say polite hellos and wave in passing? No, really, no need to stop. Please keep going. It was one of those days and I felt like I couldn’t get a break.

The break

The peaceful break was broken by her presence at my fence. And then matters proceeded to digress. I was minding my own business, why couldn’t they just mind theirs? It would have been a better evening if they had.

Big, fluffy, Golden Retriever, Diamond hiked his leg and peed inside the fence. There was a wet puddle on my patio.

What the hell?!

To make matters worse my sweet little Bentley decided to hike his little mutt leg to reclaim “his” space and pee some more.

Pee is flying every which direction and I am pissed.

Bentley and Diamond move to the other side of the patio and choose to play nicer. They rub noses, smell each others’ butts, and tails are wagging like baby rattles.

All is well.

Maybe they will move on.

No such luck.

Diamond lifts his leg and pees again — inside my fence — on my shoes.

“NO!”

Motherfucker would have peed on my own bare feet if I hadn’t flinched.

See that wetness? What do you think it is? It’s dog pee! F@#$-er peed on my damn shoes. Okay, flip-flops, but still…

Hasn’t anyone heard Robert Frost’s “Mending Wall”? Come on! Don’t good fences make good neighbors?

Why the hell are you peeing inside my fence?

You would have let your dog pee on me! What kind of neighbor are you? And, if you do this right in front of me, what do you do when I’m not looking?

Damn good thing they left quickly.

Maybe we can be friends again tomorrow.

For tonight I am pissed.

Reminds me of the current volatile climate and how everyone is quick to anger.

When you go whizzing inside someone’s fence you deserve to get shocked. Boundaries are healthy food for thought, even if they get wavy sometimes.

Don’t whiz too far in someone’s fence. It might be electrified.

Even Ren and Stimpy agree.