Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance over the pursuit of being the best, advocating for leveraging one's unique combination of skills to achieve success and fulfillment.

Abstract

The article argues against the societal pressure to be the best, suggesting that such a pursuit can lead to a harder fall when one is no longer at the top. It highlights the personal journey of the author, who, after excelling in school and struggling in college, learned to value and develop multiple aspects of his personality. The author encourages readers to recognize their unique blend of skills and qualities, even if they are not the best in any single area, and to use this uniqueness to their advantage in both personal and professional life. The article also cautions against complacency, emphasizing the need for continuous learning and hard work to maintain and improve one's skills. It suggests that true success comes from finding joy and purpose in the intersection of what one loves, what they are good at, and what the world needs, as illustrated by the concept of Ikigai. The author concludes by reminding readers to stay curious, active, and happy, and to avoid comparing themselves to others, as this often leads to an inaccurate perception of others' achievements and personal struggles.

Opinions

Being the best is an overrated goal that can lead to a more painful failure and does not account for the complex nature of individuals.
Personal reinvention and the discovery of previously unnoticed qualities can lead to greater resourcefulness and engagement in new areas.
The unique combination of an individual's traits and competencies can provide a competitive edge that surpasses being the best in a single domain.
Hard work and continuous development are crucial in maintaining one's abilities, as natural talent alone is not sufficient for long-term success.
Society's tendency to showcase only the positive aspects of one's life can create unrealistic comparisons and a sense of inadequacy among individuals.
True happiness and success stem from aligning one's passions, strengths, and contributions to the world, rather than striving to be the best in a vacuum.

Don’t Try to Be the Best

Do the best with what you are

Everyday of our lives, since primary school, we are measured, graded and ranked. There is a pressure from parents, from teachers, from coaches, that state you have to be the best, that you can be the best, and they truly believe this motivational speech will be the last push you need to get there. Well, they are wrong. And even worst, if you are the at some moment of your life, the fall will be much harder when you find yourself being “ordinary”.

When younger, I went through this exact process. I was top of my class during high school, participated, and got a couple of medals in science Olympiad, easily entered the best university in my country, everything was easy and certain. That was when, I had the huge fall. At college I was not the best anymore, I was struggling to be medium, and I felt lost, being the smart one was already intrinsic to my personality. I had to reinvent myself, suddenly, what I had of most value to offer was taken away from me. Thankfully I found many other qualities that were invisible before, an it helped me to engage in areas out of my comfort zone and become more resourceful. The important lesson I got out of this was “you don’t have to be the best, but do the most with what you are”.

“No person has the power to have everything they want, but it is in their power not to want what they don’t have, and to cheerfully put to good use what they do have.” — Seneca

Sometimes being the best can be a bad thing

For a long time I was the best at math. I was the boy that was good at math. It defined me, so many other traits I had, got underdeveloped, because there was no space for anything else. At college I discovered an inclination for writing, philosophy and teaching, that passed unnoticed even for me. Being the best makes others, and by extension, you, forget that you are an one of a kind, complex person. It is easy to focus on your main quality to please others and massage your ego. Don’t come to terms with being an one dimensional person. Unravel all sides of your personality.

Deliver a personalized and unique experience

You may not be the best of anything, but the combination of your traits, competences and personality makes you unique. Use that on your favor. There are plenty of ways to combine your qualities, in ways the best of each one of them couldn’t do, but you can.

For example, I work as a software engineer. I am not the best in programming, nor the one with the greatest range o technologies known, I’m good at both, but not the best. What I am really good, when comparing to my colleagues, is writing and teaching. I write as hobby and have volunteered as teacher. My unique combination of skills quickly put me as a reference when mentoring new hires, or documenting processes and services. Each of your abilities, individually, may not be the best, but the unique combination you offer have a huge value.

Don’t settle, keep the hard work

Don’t use your set of skills as an excuse to lay down and be comfortable. Most skills are like muscles, they atrophy when no used. Some more, some less, but they all do. When you are good at something it’s never only natural talent, it is also hard work, training and learning.

You probably already heard the motto “Do what you love, and you will never work a day in your life”. But you should not aim for turning a hobby into work, but bringing to the table what you like, what you are good at and what few people can offer. Everybody excels when find common ground on what they love, what they are good and their work.

If you are interested in how to bring these together, this TED about Ikigai is a great start.

The neighbors' grass is always greener

In our society we are taught to show and brag about the ups, but hide and never talk about the downs. This leads to a state were everybody shows only see the best of anyone, and secretly feels bad about themselves, because they believe they are the only ones with flaws and failures. When we look at others, specially the overachievers, we often see only the pretty side but there is a lot we don’t see:

The climbing: All the effort that lead them to excel. We all have our burdens to carry, and difficulties to overcome.
The failures: All the times they failed and had to bounce back to get where they are today
The flaws: Everyone has insecurities and weaknesses, but we only see them in ourselves

The philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer states that happiness is a wish satisfied, but is ephemeral, as we quickly forget what we achieved, and crave for more.

This is indeed true for many, specially when we spend more time looking to accomplishments of others, and forget about ours. If you are genuinely doing your best, be proud of it.

To summarize:

You don’t need to be the best to be successful. Indeed there are many people that are more successful than the best ones, because they know how to make the most out of their qualities. So remember:

Being the best is not so good as it sounds
Deliver the best experience with what you have
Don’t settle, keep the hard work
The neighbors’ grass is always greener, don’t keep comparing

Stay curious, stay in motion, stay happy