One of my many pet peeves about people

Don’t Tell Me You Will Do Something if You Won’t Follow Through

I would rather you tell me you will not do something I ask of you!

I have a lot of pet peeves, but one of my biggest ones is when someone says they will do something but have no intention of doing it, and they let you down.

I have a lot more respect for someone who makes it clear that they cannot promise that they will do something I ask of them or downright says “no.”

I know not to expect anything from them in the future, and I will respect their honesty, even if their refusal to help me pisses me off.

I am sure I have been guilty of telling someone I would do something when I did not intend to, especially during my people-pleasing days (chances are I followed through what I said pretty reluctantly anyway, especially if I was asked again when I would get around to doing whatever it was they asked).

However, nowadays, if someone asks me to do something, I will either tell them flat-out “no,” or I will say to them that I may do it if I have time, but I cannot make any promises if I do see myself potentially helping them in some way.

But I will never tell the individual anymore that I will do them a favor if I know I cannot or won’t do it.

I Recently Lost Respect for Someone for This Reason

I had a connection who I got along with very well over the summer, and they supported me a lot while I was very upset about that job I was hired for not panning out.

I had not been in touch with them for a while but connected with them again a month ago, as they were part of a group of others planning to work on a project and asked me if I was interested in joining them.

I am always open to new opportunities, so I agreed initially. There were meetings with the group, and this project may have had the potential to do well. I also initially had a good reason to contribute to it.

This was when I was getting ready to publish my book. A few weeks ago, I published my book, and I am hoping to get some reviews from the free download copies I offered people right after the release a few weeks ago (I am pretty stoked that some already purchased, which I did not at all expect to happen initially).

I don’t expect many who downloaded the free review copies to send reviews because they did not promise to share a review even though the free download offered was for that purpose. I also understand that people forget. I am sure I have done it, too.

However, this individual was highly excited for me to release this book and was ready to read and review it. Okay, if they say they will review it and are serious about their enthusiasm, I expect them to review it.

And each time after I mentioned it, they skirted around the topic. They said they will read it and get to it on the weekend. Okay, great. And I also decided not to bring it up again because I would test them and see if they were true to their word.

Sadly, they failed. They did not bother following through with what they said, and all they talked about was this project and other nonsense. So they let me down, and I decided to withdraw from the group, but that was not the only reason.

My political views are too moderate, which does not make me a good fit for their intention with this project since, after having the last meeting about it, I saw how political this project is (I also initially thought they would lay low on that, but now I see that is not the case).

Besides, I have so many other things going on that I cannot give it my all based on what some of my expectations would be if I were to be part of it.

I mean, I am not upset with the individual because they downloaded the review copy and did not review the book.

I am upset with them because they said they were going to do it and said they were going to do it by a specific date and failed to follow through.

And I could tell based on how they did not really want to talk about my book after they said they were excited and would give the review. Maybe they did not like my book and didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

And if that was the case, that is fine, as not everyone will like my stuff. Whatever, I don’t know. But I don’t even think that was the case.

I think they are of those who are great at showing others support and telling them that they will do something for them when they do not intend to do it at all. I cannot stand people like that.

No one is perfect, especially me, but when someone does that, they are unreliable and lack integrity. And this individual has shown me clearly how much integrity they lack, and I cannot work with someone like that.

Please, if You Don’t Intend to Do Something, Don’t Say You Will Do It

If you want to be someone others see as reliable and honest, never tell anyone you will do something if you do not intend to do it. Yes, I know you don’t want to hurt their feelings or upset them, but if you tell them “no” after they ask you for a favor you do not want to do, they won’t like it, but I am sure they will respect you for it. That is because it shows you have integrity.

Trust me, telling them that you will do something they ask of you when you have no intention of doing so will upset them a lot more than you telling them “no” in the first place. That also ruins your trust in them because they were not honest with you when they told you that they would follow through on something for you that you asked of them when they could not or did not want to do it.

And there are some people I will give the benefit of the doubt because some people are flakey and will forget they said they would do something for you. So sometimes they end up getting around to it if you remind them. But you will know not to expect anything from them again if they don’t.

However, this individual was not flakey and forgetful. I have no idea why they were excited for me to publish the book and said they would review it by a specific date.

They did not bother with it and did not want to talk about it after they said it. Again, they may have read it, did not like it, and did not want to hurt my feelings by putting up a negative review. I suppose that could be awkward, but my intuition tells me they did not even bother reading it.

They are the type that is all talk and no action, so I am starting to think that their project will not materialize either. Either way, you cannot count on this individual; they lack integrity.

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