Don’t Sunbathe Naked In Your Yard
You never know when you may become someone’s entertainment
It’s officially fire season here in Southern California. The city I live in is frantically trying to trim trees and eradicate brush that may be a fire hazard during a strong wind.
Since we live in a dry, rural area, our HOA is trying to determine which of its trees should be trimmed so as not to become matchsticks. The problem is that no one has ever mapped the trees to help determine an appropriate inventory.
Enter Mrs. S, a member of the HOA board and neighborhood nutjob, to save the day. She works with someone associated with a company that flies drones to assist with building and maintenance issues by providing topological maps. In this case, the drones could take pictures of our neighborhood and record every tree and shrub in existence, including the ones in people’s backyards.
Mrs. S is fond of causing trouble, so the board elected to table the matter and take it up at the next meeting. They needed time to uncover her ulterior motive in offering the drone company’s services.
Undeterred, Mrs. S went ahead and hired the company anyway, without board approval and without notifying the neighbors. We were angrily informed by another board member that the fly-by happened one day last week. Since these drones fly high enough not to be heard, no one was the wiser.
Most of the neighborhood is understandably pissed off, but none more than the king and queen next door. It appears that they have been enjoying some private time in their pool recently, so they’d like to know the exact time and date of their exposure.
Of course, now that the neighbors are ready to sue her for invasion of privacy, Mrs. S is quite coy about the whole affair, and refuses to provide specifics. The rest of the board suspects that she hired the drone company as a favor to her friend, a way to drum up business for him at the organization’s expense. Thankfully, the board refuses to pay the bill.
Mrs. S says it was all a big misunderstanding, she’ll take care of the bill and promises that the film will never see the light of day. But, since she’s the one cruising the neighborhood at night so she can catch people with minor code violations (in her opinion), unapproved sidewalk drawings, and toys left outside at night, no one trusts her. So far, she hasn’t turned the film over to the board, and probably never will.
As a result, the king and queen are worried, rightfully so, about being the stars of a pornographic movie, unsure of whether or not Mrs. S might be watching.
As for me, I was doing a lot of sweaty yard work last week, not the most glamorous of jobs. I just hope the drone didn’t catch me picking my nose or scratching my butt.
