Don’t Run From Discomfort. Be Still.

A reflection of my yoga practice.

If you haven’t tried yoga, I hope you do! It’s a wonderful way to slow down and feel whole. For those of us who practice regularly, do you take your intention into your life? How is that working for you?

Not every practice is an epic lesson, but when I discover a new insight about being mindful in my life, I feel compassion to share. This is an article about how I discovered being still in uncomfortable situations helped me react less.

This is usually how you start a yoga class.

You take a moment to settle in at the beginning of a yoga class. You sit in sukhasana, or easy seated pose. You take a few breaths, try to be still, and set your Sankalpa, an intention to connect with your heart’s deepest desire. Then, you begin to move with your breath in various yoga sequences.

It’s how most people start their yoga practice. Slow down. Be still.

But it can be so difficult to settle in.

At a recent yoga class, I was still hyped from my day’s work with all the screen time, clickety clackety-ing on my keyboard producing ideas on-page. I rolled out my mat, said hi to fellow yogis probably a bit too loudly, and sat down.

I shifted my seat bones. Took a few quick breaths. Straddled my legs. Stretched for a whole 2 seconds before switching to another pose.

I had gone through the whole beginning series in a matter of 2 minutes, and class hadn’t even started. It was as if I sat down to my practice as something I was about to check off from my to-do list. It’s hard to feel stillness, at ease and connected to yourself when you simply are completing an action. That’s not why I go to yoga.

On this day, I was uncomfortable in my body, unwilling to sit still.

Seeking comfort may be the overall goal as you connect your breath with your mind and body, but to get there, you must settle in with the discomfort.

And my Sankalpa, my intention, revealed itself- be still.

Being still in the moment allows us the supreme focus of being in the now, all that we truly have.

Our minds get so cluttered with streaming thoughts about past and present that it’s difficult to sit and be still.

“The moment is right here. Right now is all we have.”

-My Yoga Instructor

So, I sat there, in an easy seated pose, breathing when the instructor piped in.

“Let’s take a moment to think of something we did today.” Huh, this is different. Aren’t we supposed to be in the moment? “It could be something that was bothering you. Something that someone said. You could have had a really great day. Just take a moment to think about today.”

And breathe.

“Now, think about something you need to do tomorrow.” Where is he going with this? I am trying to get in the moment here. I don’t want to think about my to-do list. “Your to-do list” Crap. Now I am thinking about it again. “Activities, projects, people you are going to see. Just take a moment to think about tomorrow.”

Cue breathe.

“So we have taken a moment to be in the past and the future. It’s time to be in the present moment.” Ooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, I see what he did there. It’s time to let my brain know to be quiet now.

And breathe. Just breathe. In and out.

“This moment right here, right now, is all we really have.”

Our streaming thoughts tell us the past and future. If that’s all we allow in our brain space, then that’s where we will live. We will miss this precious moment we have right here right now.

How to get there?

My Sankalpa- my intention. Be still.

Being still on the mat is excellent practice for being still in your life. Being still allows you to be more present with what is happening in the moment, enjoying life more. It’s where the juiciness lives.

But it’s a practice.

Applying the Yoga Mat to Real Life:

Moments I sat with discomfort to become still

Wanting a drink immediately after work.

Ok, so this was and sometimes still is a difficult moment in my daily life. The after-work drink became such a routine that it became super uncomfortable when I quit drinking alcohol. What was I going to do instead?

I tried new rituals, which mostly worked. I would make an alcohol-free drink, listen to podcasts, or catch up with my support group while making dinner.

But I would still have that craving on the car ride home. I would have to sit with it. Sit with these uncomfortable feelings and let them pass. This was super hard to do because my mind was going a million miles an hour.

Gawd, I need a drink. What a stressful day. I don’t want to do this job anymore.

Then, I would list off about 50 work-related things followed by 50 other things in my personal life.

I need a drink.

Oh, wait, I stopped drinking. But that’s all I want to do. Drink. Drink. Drink.

And, breathe. Just breathe. Sit with this feeling. Don’t try to make it go away. Don’t allow it to build by thinking about the future. Just be still.

The craving would subside, and more importantly, I started to enjoy my drive home, noticing the trees lined streets.

Cranky kids while grocery shopping.

I don’t know about your kids, but my kids want everything in the store-especially in Costco. Toys. Food. Snacks. All of it. And they don’t like hearing the word no.

On the way out of the grocery store, there have been tears, raised voices, and the occasional arm pull in the parking lot to the car. All of that frustrating emotions from my 3-year-old seemed to absorb into my body, and I would feel like I was acting the same.

I would get angry, explode, and then immediately say I need a drink.

And then I would drink one while unpacking the groceries.

But wait. I don’t drink anymore. So, what was I going to do?

Breathe. Just breathe. Sit with this feeling. Don’t try to make it go away. Don’t allow it to build by thinking about the future. Just be still.

I am not perfect at being still in the moment when it comes to parenting my kids, but I have noticed that instead of getting mad with them, I started to react less. I let them have their fit as I lay down the boundary and explain the consequences, which usually don’t end up with arm pulling.

Being annoyed in traffic.

I used to get so irritated in traffic. Ok. I still do. I am sure you can relate. All the stop and going was interrupting my flowing.

The main street by my house has 8 lights in 2 miles. It’s ridiculous. If you don’t hit the timing right, you sit at red light after red light. What google maps says should take 5 minutes can sometimes take 15. And it used to irritate me all the time.

Focusing on just getting there made me a poor driver. Driving too fast, too close, cutting people off.

And breathe, just breathe. And be still. NO, don’t close your eyes! That’s dangerous. But you can just focus on your breath while you are driving.

Thinking about getting there is pulling you out of the moment and can be dangerous for yourself and others.

Please, be still. Drive safely.

Allowing yourself to reconnect with your breath and sit in uncomfortable situations can be used in many other circumstances. Feeling shy at a social gathering, feeling anxious about the unknown, the moment you find out your flight has been canceled. Really, anytime you find yourself reacting to something, you can take a few breaths and allow yourself to be still.

At least, that’s what I have been doing, and it’s been working. When I don’t take a moment to become mindfully still, my reactions get the better of me.

CONCLUSION

Regularly practicing yoga is great for your mind, body, and soul. But what we learn on the mat can be applied to life. For example, learning to be still and allow the uncomfortable urges, frustrations, and irritating moments in life sort of pass over you. How do you do this. Pause. And Breathe. Be still.

Try practicing mindfulness on vacation by making it a sober vacation. Planning for this moment can be difficult. That’s why I created this resource for you. Get your copy by clicking the link.

Patty McMahon, M.Ed is an educator, a mother, wife, and dog lover writing about sobriety and wellness in the 21st c. Join her newsletter to get more insights on wellness delivered to your inbox. Follow her on TikTok

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